


Transatlanticism

by Mars00135



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alexander the Great - Freeform, Ancient Greece, And all the romance, Angst, Anthropology, Archaeology Student Eren, Archaeology Student Levi, Awkwardness, Boys In Love, Confessions, Eren's bad with words, F/F, F/M, First Love, Fluff and Feels, Geology, Grad Student Levi, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Hephaestion - Freeform, Herculaneum, Levi is too, Levi/Eren Centric - Freeform, Lots of anthropology, Lots of mention of ancient literature, M/M, Modern AU, Mount Vesuvius, Mutual Confusion, Nighttime walks on the beach, Old World Beauty, Pompeii, Professor Oluo, Professor Petra, Professor Shadis, Roman mythology, Slow Burn, So be ready for it, So much beautiful scenery, Thanks a lot Sufjan Stevens, This is going to be different for my returning readers, Undergrad Student Eren, but only a little I promise, from strangers to friends to lovers, hand holding, inspired by a song, nerd talk, set in Italy, some smut later on, this is going to hurt, volcanism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:19:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 61,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mars00135/pseuds/Mars00135
Summary: All it takes is one year to change a life. What will happen when Levi, a graduate student with the archaeology department at UC Berkeley meets the headstrong Eren, an undergrad from Columbia Univeristy?**To those of you in silence, this is for you.**





	1. L'arrivo

**Author's Note:**

> "Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me  
> The first time that you touched me  
> Oh, will wonders ever cease?  
> Blessed be the mystery of love"
> 
> -Sufjan Stevens, Mystery of Love

"I'm hereeee!" Eren announced ceremoniously to his friends, their faces appearing on his phone in the four video chat boxes. Spinning in a circle with a glimmering smile adorning his face, he laughed--still unable to believe he had made it.

It had been his dream for years to attend school in Italy. Had fantasized about it nearly every day since he had entered university and craved it more the harder he worked before finally being accepted into the study abroad program. He had dreamt of this since he was a child barely old enough to read. Traveling to those far off places painted so beautifully by ancient writers like Homer and Plato and Pliny the Younger. Those ruins that whispered their centuries old secrets in the dusk after sundown. Those winding paths and corridors that had seen the rise and fall of a great many empires. Now they were his to explore. His to claim with his eager gaze and curious hands that sought to sweep over the surface of the ancient stones and memorize their bumps and grooves.

"I'm so jealous right now, you have no idea," Mikasa groused in front of the desktop computer she slouched before; her bangs pulled back by a clip with a bow. "It's been raining nonstop in Seattle."

"You should come visit me in the summer," Eren beamed. "I could show you guys around and take you to all the important dig sights around the area."

"Nerd," Jean snarked though it held no malice.

Eren arched a brow. "Says the geology major with no life."

"Excuse me but I think we all know that I'm the biggest geek around here," chimed Armin.

They each laughed--Mikasa snorting a little at her partners admission and defense of his position as the alpha nerd.

After a brief touch base with his four friends Eren ended the call, his body alight and heart already pounding from mounting excitement as he grabbed his carry-on and shrugged his backpack up his shoulder. He'd call mom and dad later to tell them he had landed safely with all his limbs in tact. Right now he needed--more than anything--to get to the dorms so that he could deposit his luggage in his room and run off to the dig site he'd be working at.

Hailing a cab, he utilized the conversational Italian he remembered from the two years he had taken in high school and the single semester he had taken last semester. Eren wasn't worried about the language barrier. If it were to be anything like meeting his extended family in Germany for the first time he was confident that he'd learn the dialect as he went along. Unlike math and physics which were Armin's thing, languages and history--learning about people in general--were his forte.

Green eyes wide with wonder as the aged stone melded with the modern architecture blooming to life around it Eren felt the life of the metropolis invade his body, spread through his limbs to his toes and fingers, and ripple back to his chest where it tightened its hold. There was a strange invigorating sort of magic to behold as one ducked in between the facades of two worlds--ancient and new--as they collided together in a beautiful harmonious chaos of glass, steel, stone, and earth with all manner of humanity thriving within.

Like a child Eren shot up in his seat as the looming figure of Mount Vesuvius came into view on the lefthand side of the cab. The driver attempted to speak to him in broken English. Something about how the volcano was still letting out gas after its last false eruption many years ago. The entire region had been thrown into a tizzy when seismologists announced that they had detected slight tremors coming from the steaming caldera. Half of the bordering cities had been evacuated to the northern regions of Lombardy, Tuscany, and Sicily. It was two weeks before the people were permitted to return to their homes.

The taxi wove through the city, taking the backroads and shortcuts to save time when Eren had told the man he had an important meeting he couldn't miss. It was a lie of course, a small white lie that wouldn't hurt anyone but himself as the barrel-chested man with thinning gray hair stomped down on the gas taking them through town at near double their original speed. Hand gripping the rim of the door framing the window, Eren gave the driver a nervous smile as his dark brown eyes darted up to the rearview mirror when he heard the youth yelp at the last sudden turn.

It wasn't until his feet were back on firm ground that he thanked and paid the man--tipping him a bit extra for his speediness though it was not the custom in Italy to do so. He was bewitched--caught in a state somewhere between hazy realization and disbelief as he gazed upon the hillside villa he'd be calling home for the next year. It was one of the oldest in the region, white walls worn and repainted after hundreds--maybe thousands--of years of use. Nestled in the trees of the neighboring wildlife reserve, the hidden gem quietly observed the coastline of the Bay of Naples like a doting mother watching on as her children played on the shore.

With a deep steadying breath to root himself in the here and now, Eren entered past the daunting wrought iron gates that separated him from the main gardens leading up to the front door. Running out to greet him with arms thrown open was Professor Petra Ral whom he knew in passing. She was the head of his universities anthropology and ancient studies department back in the states and travelled regularly between New York and Italy, sometimes conducting lessons via Skype. Striding alongside her was her husband, Professor Oluo Bozado who was leading the dig in conjunction with Professors Shadis and Pixis from Princeton University and UC Berkeley.

Despite not knowing the young man from Adam, Petra welcomed him into her arms the way a parent would their own child; one hand gently pressed between his shoulders while the other cradled the back of his head. The action gave Eren pause as he stood frozen in her kind embrace wondering if it were appropriate to hug her back or if he should keep his hands where they were--suspended in air with elbows bent and hands clawing the air with fingers twitching. He wasn't good with human interactions. Not like this or when they happened so suddenly. But when Eren saw Oluo give him a humored smirk, he relaxed and cautiously hugged Professor Ral.

"It's so good to finally meet you Eren," she admitted, her eyes swimming with all the vim and vigor of youth betrayed only by the three gray hairs hidden within her fiery auburn hair. "Come," she asserted as they parted--she taking his carry-on from him before Eren could protest. "We have your room ready and lunch is already being made."

"Thank you but I think I want to sleep for a bit if that's okay with you guys," he said, hoping the quiver wouldn't find its way to his voice. He was excited to meet the people he'd be working with but preferably one at a time or at the dig site where they'd all be too focused to pay attention to him.

"Of course it's fine," Oluo reassured. "I had a feeling you would be drained from the flight in."

Passing numerous faces on the way inside the palazzo--some vaguely familiar while others not at all--Oluo greeted an impassive blonde on her way down the stairs. Saying something in what might have been German--Eren couldn't quite make it out as they spoke--the young woman nodded, said a dismissive hello to him, then continued on her way.

"Your room is in here," Petra said as she opened the tall heavy wooden door that squawked obnoxiously as they entered. Throwing open the double French windows to let the sea breeze in, she turned and smiled. "You have your own closet but you share a balcony and bathroom with the adjacent room. The young man next door shouldn't bother you too much though since he always has his head in his books."

"Thank you."

She cocked her head gently to the side; red hair bouncing as she did. "It's good to have you here. Sleep well and come down when you're ready to eat something."

"I will. Thank you Professor Ral and Professor Bozado."

"Of course. And it's fine if you call us Petra and Oluo. Anyhow, sleep well and I'll talk to you later."

"Night kid," Oluo said in passing before the door closed behind them.

Energy leaving him through his feet with every passing moment, he absorbed the silence letting it all sink in. He was finally in Italy. He was finally going to get to see the ancient ruins he had dreamt of. And more importantly, he was one step closer to becoming what he had yearned for for all those years. Slinging his backpack onto the neatly stacked pile of his belongings that had been sent months in advance, Eren groaned as he fell face first into the cushy mattress and took a deep breath. 

The scent of clean cotton and sea salt and orange blossoms filled his lungs and clung to the inside of his nose. He could hear the seagulls in the distance and the waves coming ashore faintly echoing through his room. The warm late spring breeze that blew in through the window wafted over the slightly damp skin of his neck and calves, teasing the fine hairs into standing on end as he hummed an appreciative sigh. Eyes closing in waves--flickering open every couple of seconds only to shut once more--he fell asleep for what felt like an eternity with a small smile curling the corners of his parted lips.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

The loud clap of the door next door had Eren springing to life faster than the planes flying over his old family home in California did. He had gotten used to the silence since he had moved away for school. It took some time adjusting to the peace and every so often he would require a sound machine to mimic the white noise that could be found back home. Nothing could recreate the chatter of raccoons sitting atop the garbage cans arguing amongst themselves or the owl that had made its home in the eucalyptus tree twenty feet from his bedroom window on the top floor or the doves the Engleman's kept in a bird coup next door that would coo as the sun broke over the horizon. 

Yet still, he had grown used to the silence. Used to hate it but now Eren preferred it to the chaotic hum of the city life in midtown New York. Most anthropology lectures were conducted in the evening and his general courses always met in the early hours of the day between seven and nine in the morning. As such, he'd return to his apartment after a long start to his day--filled with the monotone of his calculus professor--would slip his shoes off before closing the windows and collapsing onto his bed for a deep uninterrupted sleep. The cycle, now a habit, repeated itself every day whether it be a class day or the weekend, whether he be sleeping over at a friends or visiting his parents. Eren's energy always depleted at the same rate bringing him to his bed at the same hour every afternoon and would wake at the same time every evening.

Gaze wandering through the fog lingering within his weary eyes, he heard the occupant in the room next to his shuffle through some papers, mutter indecipherable syllables under their breath, then vacate the space with the door unintentionally slamming itself shut behind them. They must have been in a bad mood. Spying the alarm clock atop the dresser--strategically placed there by Petra to ensure her students wouldn't oversleep--he slumped down the side of the bed with a drawn out groan before his feet touched the ground and he was standing.

Eren tamed his unruly crown of ruffled brown hair in the modest mirror in the bathroom behind which was the medicine cabinet--its contents ranging from a shaving kit, electric toothbrush, and a prescription for chronic migraines to tampons on the top shelf, a pregnancy test next to it, and a now expired half-used case of birth control. The last student who had been chosen for the abroad program before him was a woman. Perhaps she had forgotten those when she left. Grabbing the three items and tossing them into the trash, he replaced them with his toiletries; neatly arranging them in a perfect line with each grouped by use.

Splashing water on his face then shaking the droplets free the same way a shaggy dog did under a garden hose at the height of summer, Eren switched into a fresh button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and hurried down the stairs. Carried along by the fragrant clouds of sharp basil mingling with juicy cooked tomatoes and wine with hints of fresh caught fish, he was ushered downstairs by his stomach. Growling in anticipation it grew the closer he came to the stone fresco archway of the kitchen.

Gabbing amongst themselves like the raccoons in his backyard, three Italian women argued over a half raw chicken breast that was sizzling in the center of a cast iron skillet. One was in her eighties or more with crows feet around her wise hazel eyes and short curls of peppered gray adorning her crown. Peering past bottle-cap glasses in red frames, she clicked her tongue at the much younger middle-aged women who was half a foot taller than her with black hair pulled into a bun and fussy slender hands shoeing away the others who were interfering with her work. To her left was a woman somewhere between the two others with ruddy auburn hair flecked with white and honeyed eyes. She ducked out of the argument and poured her self a glass of wine which she immediately consumed.

"Ti farai un'ulcera a litigare con lei," the women drinking the wine said to the one with her hand on the skillet handle.

The granny clicked her tongue with a squint to her right eye. "Zitto," she ordered.

Eren didn't understand a word of what they had spoken but understood that now was not the time to introduce himself. Sneaking past the kitchen and its fiery occupants, he squinted his eyes at the sun that was lackadaisically meandering through the early evening sky--it likely wondering if it were time to set or if it should perhaps linger in the sky a bit longer for the beach goer's. Around him, the precisely manicured garden was abuzz with lively conversations spoken in numerous tongues, music, and laughter as a gaggle of children played tag near the centuries old fountain at the center of which stood a nude Neptune standing tall in his chariot flanked on either side by nereids.

He fumbled over his feet backwards as a little blonde haired boy unwittingly bumped into his knees throwing the taller more unwitting adult off balance. Taking a step back, Eren braced himself against the archway leading into the patio. Smiling that strained anxious smile he got whenever he was in over his head--the one that tugged at the left of his lips yet pinched his brows, turning them upwards--he breathed a bit easier when he caught sight of Petra waving him down from the other side of the space; she casually sitting on the edge of the traditional styled stone guardrail that separated them from the drop-off that stretched some fifty some odd feet below them. Glass of crisp white wine in hand and dressed in white palazzo pants and a matching blouse, she was at the center of everyones attention, easily pulling riotous laughter from the men and women surrounding her.

Everyone loved Professor Ral. Even at school, her classes filled up first whenever registration opened up and had a waitlist of over fifty people. Bubbly, mild mannered with a streak of defiance, and a soothing nurturing presence, she was the golden child; everyones favorite and undoubtedly the jewel of her husbands eye who looked upon her as if she were heaven on earth. Petra laughed, saying some scandalous joke in a language Eren had never heard before, and those in her circle laughed as though she had just told the funniest joke known to man. She may have. Could have and Eren wouldn't have known.

Suddenly, Eren felt more out of place than at peace. Felt exposed; as if he had been striped naked with all his flaws out in the open for everyone to see. He could feel eyes on him. The weight of their gaze causing his skin to prickle and ears to burn with the chatter around him. He was on fire, standing there in the dwindling daylight burning inside with no one batting a lash at it. Felt so small and insignificant yet ill from the wandering gazes that fell upon him. These conflicting contradictory emotions warred within him keeping Eren frozen in place much like the stone statues of the dying Gaul and Venus de Medici and Laocoon and his Sons--subtly petrified yet without giving himself away.

Moving when the same blonde girl from the stairs that morning pushed past him, her cool glacier blue eyes boring holes into him with little interest as she passed, Eren timidly retreated to the dining area where a large wooden long table with mismatched chairs of wicker and metal sat. The rest of the people coming for dinner that night had already--albeit sluggishly--started making their way over. Eren was thankful to see Hitch and Marlo, his upperclassmen from Columbia. They had been a couple since their third year in the undergrad program and both decided to do archaeology together. Each blessing him with a hug, the familiar embrace took the edge off of his otherwise ridged shoulders and stiff back.

Sitting down next to them, he watched as the guests sat down one by one. The three women from the kitchen who were still bickering even as they brought the food out sat down nearer to Petra and Oluo. Accompanying the granny was an older gentleman with skin aged like leather and delicate wire frame glasses. Wearing a white linen button down much like the other men were, he pulled the chair out for what Eren now assumed to be his wife--his eyes sparkling when her hand brushed his as she sat down. A lifetime of love was briefly shared in that quick glance between them--her smiling and him placing a petal soft kiss on her cheek.

"Scusate il ritardo. Ho dovuto prendere una telefonata dall'universita," called a voice from behind them, it growing in strength as the speaker approached the table. The footsteps meandered from behind Eren who could feel the eyes of another dripping over his skin before they circled around the table to where they settled, right in front of him. "Chi e questo?"

"Lui e il nuovo arrivato dalla Columbia," Petra said with breezy nonchalance. "Eren," the professor interrupted Eren's train of thought. "This is Levi."

Gaze lifting from the empty dinner plate, he was unexpectedly swept away by the lakes of starlight blue staring back at him. _‘Levi,’_ Eren parroted in his head—eyes darting from the pale skin of his shoulders redden by the Italian sun to the old gold star of David pendent hanging from his neck. The wrist of the hand extended out to him was decorated with leather cuffs, handwoven bracelets made from brightly colored thread, and a multipurpose watch with a compass off to the side of the main face whose protective glass case had been scratched from years of use.

Taking Levi's hand, Eren studied the callouses on his fingertips and the scars dotted along his forearm. "Eren Jeager, third year undergrad."

"Nice," the other said coolly before unceremoniously letting go of his hand; Levi's skin leaving a gentle heat that pooled in the center of Eren's hand. "Parli Italiano Eren?"

"Un po'," he admitted almost bashfully. He couldn't handle the weight of the man's eyes on him. Found that it made his stomach twist uncomfortably and his palms sweat.

"Capisco. Well, you'll pick it up soon enough. Professor Ral," Levi shifted in his chair, swiftly altering the course of the conversation. He could see how nervous the new kid was. Could sense his nausea wafting off of him in potent waves as his fingers twisted at the fabric of his shirt. "Do you have the groups assigned for tomorrows dig?"

"I do. Erwin's group is being sent to Herculaneum so you'll be four people short. I was going to tell you earlier today but you were on-site so there was no way of contacting you."

"It's fine."

"Hanji will help with cataloging though and I've assigned Eren to your team. He has experience from his digs with Professor Eisenlauer so he should be fine."

"He worked with Dr. E?" Levi asked incredulously. Glancing to Eren, he flashed an indiscernible smile that pulled lazily at the corners of his mouth. "Well that's good news."

'Stop looking at me,' Eren thought quietly as he shifted in place. 'Stop acting like you already know me and smiling at me so openly.'

Swallowing hard as he looked down--noticing as something flickered deep inside those silver eyes that changed from blue to gray then back to blue as the sun set--Eren took a sip from his water glass as dinner was brought out. Heart pounding like a hammer on an anvil, his nerves crackled with the magnetic energy radiating from those eyes. He was so keenly aware of Levi. Hated the man already without even knowing him. There was just something about him that made Eren uneasy. He didn't know what it was or why he felt his presence so strongly as it enveloped him from across the table but it had him sitting on pins and needles; hanging from tenterhooks like an animal waiting for the slaughter. Those sharp delving eyes... What did they want from him?

Finishing dinner as quickly as possible without causing offense, Eren excused himself midway through drinks. Professor Shadis was in the middle of a peculiar story concerning an old man and a basket full of lobsters when he got up, thanked Petra and Oluo for the meal, and left after telling them he was feeling weary. Patting him on the arm, the woman smiled the way she did at her own children. She knew he wasn't feeling like himself. Had been aware of him and his eccentricities despite him never having taken a class with her before. Hitch and Marlo talked about the boy enough and his behavior filled in any missing gaps. Releasing him, she sat there with Oluo's hand on her shoulder and a glass of wine in her free palm.

"Buonanotte," she called to Eren as he left.

Wordlessly, he looked over his shoulder with a weak smile and nodded.

Climbing the winding stairs that spiraled up to the second floor high above the first, Eren rubbed the bare skin of his tanned forearms as the cooler sea breeze rolled in, wove through the halls, and wrapped around his frame like a blanket seeking him out in the evening dim. It was quieter up there. Still like the darkness of the city at night and just as comforting. Drifting up from the outside was the faint sound of laughter, glasses clinking, chairs groaning against the stone patio as their occupants moved, and the ever present lull of the waves coming ashore. He could hear crickets, birds singing their last song of the evening, and cars coming up the hillside pass. Alone in the gloom of the hallway, Eren took a long steadying breath, dragged his hands through his hair and down his face as he exhaled.

Hand on the door knob, he entered his room--contemplating whether he should go to sleep now or later. Eren was tired--emotions rubbed raw from the trip over, the excitement, and culture shock that came with being displaced from what his "norms" were. But if he did not take a moment to unwind now he would regret it later when he awoke in the middle of the night from God knows what covered in a thin veneer of sweat. He had always loved travelling; craved it more and more the older he became. But regardless of his wanderlust, he was a homebody at heart and the first week away from home was always the roughest.

Conceding to what he knew he must do, Eren postponed sleep until both his mind and body were ready. Opening the double French doors leading to the balcony, he closed his eyes with a deep breath in as he was bathed in moonlight. It were as if he were caught in a trance-like state as he wandered out onto the veranda--smile teasing at the edges of his lips while his fingers blindly searched for the cool wrought iron railing. Grabbing hold of the bar that came up to his waist, he leaned forward, expelling any and all ill thoughts that may still be looming from earlier.

"Don't do it brat," spoke a terribly familiar voice in a drawn out lazy manner. "You've got so much to live for."

Eyes opening faster than he had woken up that afternoon from his nap, Eren turned his head and saw a pair of beaten up work boots first before he turned his gaze upward and saw Levi on the balcony a few feet away smoking a cigarette. Looking between the man and his own feet, he was suddenly aware of just how far over the rail he was.

"What are you doing here?" Eren asked as he straightened out, slouching minutely under the weight of Levi's steely gaze. He hated the way those eyes saw through him as if they knew every secret he'd hidden within himself since youth. As if they already understood him and knew his tells.

"In Italy or on the balcony?" It wasn't even a question. Just something said in jest as if to humor the young man; to get him to stop being so anxious. "My room's next door to yours I guess. I hope you don't mind but I usually smoke before bed."

Eren swallowed hard. Why would he mind? It wasn't like a full grown man needed his permission on how he led his life.

"I don't," was all Eren could manage.

Levi shifted his weight from one leg to another as he turned to face the peculiar youth. Eyes surveying him as if he were appraising an artifact found out in the field of dirt and grime between columns of decimated alabaster stone, he let go of a puff of smoke that streamed from his lips in a ribbon that danced and swayed in the gentle breeze.

"You don't need to be so anxious around me."

"I'm not anxious," Eren lied.

"You look like you're about to throw yourself off a cliff."

He blushed but didn't yield. "I'm not anxious."

Levi turned back to look at the trees, his head shaking with a humored smirk. "Liar."

Eren didn't know how to respond. Was he that easy to read? Or was it just this strange man that had already figured him out? Either way, it was just another thing Eren didn't like. An invasion of his mental privacy that left him feeling more exposed than he was the day he was born.

Grinding the butt of his cigarette into the tough sole of his boot, Levi tossed it into the small can on his side of the veranda before shoving both hands into his pockets.

"Night," he said casually then turned on his heels and wandered back inside.

Reacting slowly, Eren faltered for a second--the doors shutting behind Levi as his thoughts caught up with him as he murmured, "Night."


	2. But When You Close Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shall we beat this or celebrate it?  
> You're not the one to talk things through  
> You checked your texts while I masturbated  
> Manelich, I feel so used
> 
> Found myself on Spencer's Butte  
> Traced your shadow with my shoe  
> Empty outline changed my view  
> Now all of me thinks less of you
> 
> On the sheet I see your horizon  
> All of me pressed onto you  
> But in this light you look like Poseidon  
> I'm just a ghost you walk right through
> 
> Saw myself on Spencer's Butte (All of me wants all of you)  
> Landscape changed my point of view (All of me wants all of you)  
> Revelation may come true (All of me wants all of you)  
> Now all of me thinks less of you (All of me wants all of you)
> 
> -Sufjan Stevens, "All of Me Wants All of You"

.................one morning near the end of May......................

 

"Andiamo Americano," Levi ordered as he ripped the blankets free of Eren's curled up form huddled at the center of the bed. "E ora di svegliarsi. Hai dormito abbastanza a lungo e abbiamo bisogno di andare avanti."

This was Eren's new norm; the reality he was birthed into each and every morning as Levi threw open the shutters and rambled on in Italian about how he had overslept. He woke up to the same speech nearly every day since he had arrived in Campania. Had heard it so much that he could recite it word for word though he only understood half of what his upperclassman was saying. This routine that had repeated itself without fail for the past two weeks had begun to gnaw on the last of Eren's nerves.

Still adjusting to the alien environment, it didn't matter how beautiful and evocative Castellammare di Stabia was. It wasn't his home. Wasn't his small apartment in midtown with the ever present crying Iver child down the hall and the curious sounds coming from the floor above him at three in the morning that bared striking resemblance to noise a bag of marbles scattering on wooden floors would make. This wasn't his postage stamp bedroom that felt too constricting at times while at others was comforting in its quaintness. Nor did this place have all his knick knacks that had been collected over the years--a small fragment of stone from Delphi, the mezuzah Grisha had brought back for him from Jerusalem, his family's papers from the memorial at Auschwitz, and the chunk of knobby pine from his first trip to California that sat on top of his desk next to the short end of the first and only cigar he had ever smoked.

"Come on brat, we need to get going before the heat sets in," Levi insisted. 

He hated slow risers; did not understand what was so enticing about wasting time sleeping. It was one of the many idiosyncrasies Levi possessed that was entirely unique to him and him alone. Eren had never met anyone in his life--nor did he expect to hereafter--that was so eager to rise from their bed in the morning. More than a busybody, it were as though Levi transcended the hallmarks of a Type-A personality and created a class that was all his own. 

No one was quite like the graduate. There were plenty of work-crazy students on the verge of mental and physical collapse that worked into the wee hours of the morning cataloging the days finds in their field journals. Some of them even seemed happy doing this. But Levi was different. It wasn't joy or giddiness Eren saw in his eyes as he toiled away in the muggy Mediterranean heat under the canopy of the burlap tent where artifacts were brought for archiving. What laid beneath the sun-kissed alabaster skin was something more akin to determination; a profound sense of duty. He was stalwart--reliable in a way that Eren was ashamedly envious of whenever he snuck glances at him from the pit he was digging in.

Eren grimaced as he slunk out of bed—his hair in a state of total disarray that had Levi smirking when he saw it. His eyes darted to the man from which the muffled sound of laughter came from. He had only heard Levi laugh while in the company of a larger group or in private with his friends from Berkeley—Hanji, Erwin, Mike, and Moblit. Eren frowned when he reached out and ruffled his hair further.

"What?" he groused, fussing with hands shoeing away the slim fingers gently carding through his curls.

"You look like an animal," Levi chuckled. It was a momentary exchange--didn't last longer than a brief second yet Eren caught the fading twinkle in his sterling eyes. As quickly as it came the expression was gone, replaced swiftly by his usual sangfroid. "Dai, andiamo."

There it was again, 'andiamo.' It was probably Levi's favorite word in Italian if his use of it alone was anything to go off of. Between andiamo and later, he used the words over a dozen times a day. Eren had been counting. It gave him something to do while laboring in the coarse layers of soil and debris and pottery shards. One afternoon Levi had said "andiamo" fifteen times in a single hour and "later" thirty times that same day. 'How Californian of him,' Eren thought to himself as the man left his room so that he may change.

Because of his tardiness, Eren only had time to catch the tail-end of breakfast which was consisted of a strong cafe latte and three slices of toast with homemade butter and apricot jam with honey drizzle. Grabbing two peaches on the way out to store in his pack for later, he along with Sasha and Connie--two undergrads from Boston University--he slipped on his sunglasses while Hanji started the pint-size vermilion sedan. He always slept on the way to the dig site because he wouldn't have the opportunity to rest for the following six hours. Levi ran a tight ship; was stricter than any pit bosses he had worked under on previous digs in back home in the States. It was yet another reason on his list of many of things Eren didn't particularly like about the strange man in the room next to his.

Lids cracking open minutely fifteen minutes into their journey, Eren rolled his head to the side--gaze shifting down and straight ahead as the brooding Vesuvius came into view. Looming over the Bay of Naples like death incarnate, it was a constant reminder to the people beneath it that they were all at its mercy. Steaming from numerous vents dotted along its underground channels, the cracked caldera emitted wisps of white vapor every few hours--a behavior the local geologists and volcanologists weren't especially troubled by. Nor did they worry over the small tremors and minor earthquakes that seemed to happen every other week, none reaching higher than a two on the Richter scale.

It was frightening--like staring down a beast of great destruction and desolation. Vesuvius which had brought multiple cities to their knees both new and ancient was a sleeping behemoth biding its time until it could lay waste to Naples once more. Yet there Eren remained happily and knowingly racing toward the remains of a population decimated a millennia before by the slumbering monster watching--waiting--in the distance like a great storm building its front and strengthening winds it would use to tear them limb from limb. Beautiful, frightening, enrapturing, and murderous, it was precisely what he had dreamt of.

By the time Hanji's carpool had arrived at the farthermost reaches of the Pompeii archaeological site where the team was excavating Levi had already set the others to work with Annie cataloging and sketching recent finds while Bertholt and Reiner tediously scraped away layer after layer of ash, pumice, and debris. Down on his calloused hands and padded knees with dirt already thinly coating his fair arms and collarbone and neck, he too was working in the pits today. They had recently unearthed the upper floor of a new villa that was considerably bigger than the more modest private homes near the front of the site. Centuries upon centuries old fresco's came into view--fellow archaeologists scrambling to seal the walls with cling wrap to keep the moisture in to prevent the design from fading or the plaster from cracking and crumbling away.

Equipped with a headset of magnifiers, a headlight, and a bandanna secured around his mouth to prevent him from inhaling the ash and dust they were stirring up, Levi gingerly brushed the fine dirt away from the delicately carved and positioned marble fingers of a statue with painted hair that had been wrapped in a protective film. Unknowing of whether they were working on steady grounds or not--the floor beneath them sometimes giving out as a buried roofs and weakened channels collapsed in pits on the other side of the site--he had laid down on the ground; his legs stretched to either side like a starfish reaching for a wooden pylon as the tides rolled in under the seaside docks.

He was always the first to dig. First to rise, first to shower and eat in the mornings. First to turn in for the nights and hand in his field journal to Petra every other day so she could monitor their progress. Levi was always first in whatever he did. He didn't mean to boast or do it to taunt others. The man was determined and driven just as much as he was meticulous in nearly every aspect of his life both inside and outside of work. Tearing the magnifiers from his head because they wouldn't stay put and kept slumping down the bridge of his elfin nose as a consequence of their enormous weight, Levi squinted as he slowly--very slowly--picked away the hardened earth caked onto the soft curve of the palm of the statues hand. Brushing the silt from the fine lines of its fingernails and creases in the knuckles, he paused--touching it with his own gloved hand as if fingers and hands were alien limbs to him and he were curious as to its purpose.

"Buongiorno," Hanji announced with an unforgettable chipperness to her tone. Waving at Levi who rotated on his side--careful not to hit the hand as he did--she stepped over the yellow boundary rope tied with pink slink tape as she approached. Crouching down beside him with sweat already beading across her tanned forehead, she smiled. "What's this? Something new?"

Levi's smile was obvious even with the bandanna covering most of his face--the expression reaching his eyes, lighting them up like fireworks. "It's a painted statue and, from the look of the hairstyle," he said with a gentle tap on the carved top knot, "my guess is it's a standing depiction of Venus."

"Really?"

"That or Apollo. This hairstyle is most often attributed to them. The way the hand is carved looks like it was done in the Hellenistic style."

"How risque of the Pompeians," Hanji waggled a teasing brow at him and Levi laughed. "That's strange though considering most of the statuary we've found has been in done in the classical style."

"Maybe the owner of this one was an admirer of Praxiteles."

"Maybe."

"Well I've got the rest of the team in tow so we can set them to work with sifting and cataloging while you and I unearth this fine young woman," Hanji smirked, "Or young man."

Levi returned the expression with a grin of his own; his dimples that had been teased into existence hidden beneath the cloth hanging before them. "Or a young man."

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Eren closed his eyes and breathed in then out with his arms stretching out behind him--fingers splayed and reaching into the warm air rising from the sun-soaked earth. This was his ritual. One of many that he did without thinking and repeated daily every day he stepped foot onto the soil of the ancient city, its beauty marred by mother nature's hateful vengeance though enhanced by tragedy. He could hear the chattering of voices from citizens long since passed whispering in the corridors and winding alleyways and feel their spirits pass through him as if he were the intruding ghost invading their place of worship. Could sense the hairs on the back of his neck and those atop the sun-kissed skin of his forearms bristle as the wind blew in, swept up the dirt and ancient ash, and wound around him like a mighty river winding around the bend of an obtrusive boulder in the mountainside.

To the side a yard away, Hanji and Levi were laying on the ground--she having sprinted over at the first glimpse of white marble across the peristyle. It must have been a massive work of art, the one Levi was gently uncovering--he sweeping back layers of dirt, ash, and pumice with the same attentive delicate touch of a lover disrobing their beloved for the first time. Those eyes swimming with excitement and reverence as he tilted his head even further to the side to better memorize the curve of the statues hand. The curiosity in Eren had him wondering what it must have been like being on the other side of that impassioned gaze. How exposed the other must have felt while those pools of starlight delved deeper into the beauties and imperfections of the object they beheld.

He must have had plenty of lovers. Eren hated himself for it but could not deny how visually arresting Levi was. Hair the color of spilled ink that contrasted his alabaster skin as snowy as the statues he stood beside in the museums they had visited, his modest stature was forgiven and forgotten--hidden completely by his unusual beauty. Facial features meticulously chiseled by some divine power on high, it was his intellect and humor--not his fine jaw or perfect nose--that were his sharpest attributes. He was a natural born leader--Alexander the Great birthed into modern society. It seeped from his pores, shined in the depths of his mercurial eyes, and teased at his every word.

It wasn't fair but Eren knew he could not help it. Some people were just born that way; memorable and commanding of others attention without having to ask for it in the first place. He was not one of those people--not a Levi or Petra or Mikasa or Jean. When Eren looked in the morning he saw a plain young man with skin that was too tan, freckles decorating his nose and arms he prayed would disappear, and eyes too round and large for his face. Hair the same color as the dirt he scraped away from the columns buried within his pit, he wondered if there was anything worthwhile about him.

Or perhaps it wasn't appearance that mattered. Yes, Levi was beautiful in all aspects of the word but it wasn't his face that attracted the masses to him. Surrounding him were like minded people whose carefully crafted sangfroid crumbled at the discovery of an ancient temple or the translation of archaic texts written in a tongue long since deceased. Apostles of the arts and social sciences, they regularly discussed the works of Heraclides, Heidegger, Euripides, and Sartre in between shifts beneath the burning afternoon sun and gossiped in different dialects over a casual game of cards after dinner.

'Will I ever be that remarkable?' he wondered, gaze meeting Levi's by accident--or was it by luck?--from across the site when he heard he and Hanji laughing. 

That dichotomous expression of understanding and confusion... Why did he regard Eren so carefully? So closely as if he were a challenge awaiting conquest? Or perhaps he were looking upon him the way he did a difficult puzzle to which he were missing a critical piece pivotal to its undoing. Gaze deep and brooding but spellbinding much like Vesuvius dwelling in the near distance, those eyes already haunted Eren--made him look away too soon and seek refuge from them because he was too weak to stand tall beneath them.

"Jaeger," Levi called from across the way.

Eren didn't hear.

Grunting as he rose to his feet--knees sore from working in the pits for several hours on end--he sauntered over with a stiffness in his back, neck, and shoulders. Levi was not old by any means. Was still in his twenties though closer to the tail-end rather than the youthful forefront like the underclassmen who dutifully worked beneath him. However the long laborious days that turned to weeks then months and years he had spent digging in the hardened earth had slowly begun to take their toll. 

Levi's back ached from the countless times he had bent himself into odd positions, wiggled on the flat of his back through a tight crawlspace, and heaved one hefty artifact after another packaged in their heavy wooden crates onto freighters, trucks, planes, trains, and cargo ships. A knot had formed deep within the tense tender tissue of his neck and spawn several more throughout his shoulders and spine. He may not have looked like an old man or had the lifespan to match but he felt it in his bones that groaned in protest whenever he moved too suddenly.

"Jaeger," Levi commanded--his voice carrying with it a certain bite that brought the young man next to him to attention. Swaying backwards and to the side as Eren fumbled--the kid nearly ramming the back of his head into Levi's face as he shot up, the corners of his lips quirked minutely. "You're overdue for a break."

"I'm fine," Eren insisted as Levi went to take the trowel from his unsteady hands.

He flinched when Eren jerked his hand away. "You're not okay. You're overheating. I don't care how tan your skinny ass is, I can still see it on you all the way across the pits."

"Stop it, I'll be fine. Just--"

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me." Levi was getting annoyed now. This was the third time he'd had to do this. The kid was so stubborn; didn't know when to fold. Irritating as it was, Levi was almost certain that the word 'quit' wasn't even a part of Eren's vocabulary--likely didn't exist in his dictionary either. "Your face is turning red and you've been working nonstop for the past six hours. Go sit down, drink some water, and cool off."

"I can--"

"For fucks sake kid, stop your bitching and listen! As far as you're concerned, I'm your boss while you're out in the field. If I say dig, you dig. If I tell you to put your trowel down and eat something, you fucking do it. I'm not going to let you work yourself to the brink of collapse. Got it?"

"Fine!" Eren snapped as he threw the hand shovel down with fire in his eyes and bitterness flowing through his veins. "Be an asshole!"

"Maybe I will," Levi barked back.

"Dick."

"Drama queen."

Lip twitching into a muted snarl, Eren snatched up his utility belt and stomped off toward the tents.

"Fucking control freak," he muttered.

"What was that Jaeger?!"

"Nothing your majesty."

Levi couldn't grit his teeth any tighter as the punk spun around to face him and bowed, making it a grand display as if he were kneeling before the Queen of England. It was always like this with Eren. Touch and go, hot to cold then back to scorching as they fought like snot-nose brats on the playground. There were days when he was the most mature student in the bunch. Knowledgeable and experienced with drive, Eren frequently out shined those around him. He could be charming in closed circles and shy the next moment--stumbling over his words with only a faint blush dusting the edges of his ears giving him away. Then there were days like this when it seemed as if he were hell bent on pushing his boundaries by testing Levi's tolerance for his bullshit.

If he hadn't grown up as the older brother to two pushy brats, Levi would have knocked the kid down two or six pegs. It wasn't that Eren was cocky. Far from it in fact. But he was cheeky and obstinate to a fault. Jobs like the one they were working required flexibility and compliance, composure and unobstructed communication that was received without argument. How the brat ever got to work with Dr. E with that attitude was any wonder to Levi because he knew from experience that the good professor would not have tolerated that sort of behavior.

'Maybe it's because I'm still a student that he's mouthing off like that,' Levi pondered quietly. It would make sense that Eren wouldn't give him the same respect he would a professor who would have already served their time and had a doctorate degree to prove it. But even if that were the case, he could break the kid of that habit. 'This brat's going to drive me up a wall one of these days.'

\----------------------------------------------------------------

It was Friday night. Finally. Everyone looked forward to Fridays because it was the one evening a week when everyone--both grad and undergrad--were allowed to cut loose and go wild. 'So long as you don't kill anyone or get one of the local girls pregnant,' as Oluo had jokingly said the first Friday Eren had spent in Italy. It was his fourth week out there and every Friday and every other Saturday night was spent dancing and drinking until the wee hours of the morning at the local outdoor "club." More like a large plaza hidden between weather-worn apartment buildings overrun with creeping vines that the neighborhood youths had commandeered, it was where people his age with nothing to do went. They socialized, danced, some drank until they tripped over their shoes, and others swapped spit in the dark corners on the couches while grinding hard against one another like dogs in heat.

Eren couldn't complain though because it was better than the joints back home where women danced in protective circles with their friends--reacting strongly to any man that tried to make a pass at them because no one could be sure of who was a creep and who wasn't anymore. Men were just lurkers now and women were prey. At least that's how the media played it up. Treno Relitto as it was fondly known among the locals was a place where the young men and women of Castellammare di Stabia could go to hangout without causing any trouble to the older generations. There they could blow off steam in a relatively safe environment with a police station not too far away in the off chance someone got a little too rowdy.

Every night had a theme at Treno Relitto. Thursdays were for rap and hip-hop with artists like Kendrick Lamar, Childish Gambino, Beyonce, and Nekfeu playing over the modest speakers that, despite their size, were capable of filling the space 'til it was bursting with sound. The one time Eren had gone on a Thursday night--more like he had snuck out with Connie and Sasha--everyone was jumping, grinding, and moshing to "This Is America" without even knowing the context in which the song was written. Or maybe they did know about the embarrassing social injustices in the US and didn't care because they weren't living through it.

Saturday's were a similar scene because it was "Fuck The Man Sat's" that instilled all the angst, frustration, and outrage of their generation blasting Rage Against The Machine at full volume, letting it shake the old tired bones of the apartments around them and vibrate the glass windows as if they were made of jell-o. Unsurprisingly, Saturday's were Levi's favorite. Beer in hand and dressed like every other grunge steel-toe boot wearing punk from his age group though carrying it off with a certain level of poise, he would aggressively bob his head to the music; his motions bordering headbanging or moshing if his arms started thrashing. 

It was the only time he gave in and forgot his identity as the cool responsible grad student and team leader of pit 107. For a brief moment in time every Saturday from ten-thirty at night to two-thirty the following morning, he was just another guy--another stressed out twenty-something-year old with too much responsibility and not enough outlets to vent his frustration so he let the music scream it for him.

But tonight was Friday, Eren's favorite night because it was Flashback Friday's which meant the dj's would be playing the music he had grown up with. Having married and gotten pregnant before they were out of grad school, Eren's parents were forced to forfeit the years they could have spent partying with friends in exchange for raising him and his older brother Zeke. Yet between the diaper changes, Eren's screaming tantrums he pitched in grocery stores, and Zeke's rebellious years that resulted with his enrollment at a military academy, Grisha and Carla had found a way to regain some of the time they had lost. Part of this was through sharing the music they loved with their rambunctious sons. 

From Blondie to Adam & The Ants to Joan Jett, Joy Division, New Order, and The Psychedelic Furs, Eren heard it all. Every hit from the seventies and eighties onward into the early nineties before Kurt Cobain exited this life in the most explosive way he could manage, he loved and remembered it all. He remembered one summer when they were driving back to New York after visiting his grandparents in New Jersey and how Grisha and Carla were singing along "You Might Think" by The Cars--a song that, to this day, was still one of his favorites. He could recall the spark in his father's eyes as he looked at his wife and sang the lyrics "But I think that you're wild when you flash that fragile smile. You might think it's foolish, what you put me through. You might think I'm crazy but all I want it you." 

The way Carla would blush as if they were teenagers again going on their first date to Coney Island was too endearing--too humanizing that it reminded Eren that his parents were more than "mom" and "dad." It was why he felt a warmth and fondness whenever he listened to music from their generation. Their joy and happiness and passion had all been transmitted to him; imbued in his veins, giving him the same devil-may-care attitude and approach to life that his parents possessed.

Grooving and moving his body to the mismatched moods of "Dancin'" by The Tubes, Eren's lopsided grin tugged at his cheeks as it grew. It probably would have hurt how much he was smiling had he not been pleasantly buzzed from the three beers he had drank. He was currently working on the fourth, the contents sloshing recklessly in his bottle as the music shifted from jazz to hard eighties rock. Leave it to the Italians to play a hit from a box-office failure that only managed to save itself with the music it had put out for its soundtrack. The song was almost as ancient as the ruins he was digging around in day in and day out and had long since been forgotten back home in the States but he loved it regardless. Was so stupidly fond of the track that he howled at the same moment the singer did, having memorized the words and beat at an early age.

He was dancing with Marzia again this weekend. An art student at the university of Naples, she was fun, easy to get along with, and knew how to kiss a man dumb. Hazel eyes flashing under the pulsing multicolored lights with her hand on his chest--the cotton of his black tank top damp from sweat--they rocked and swayed, bobbed their heads, and teased one another with near kisses as they sang to each other. She draped her long slender arms tanned from the sun over his sparsely freckled shoulders; the fingertips of one hand brushing the skin of his shoulder blades while the other playfully tangled itself in his shaggy brown hair. 

They were so close--chests bumping together and hips flush against one another. There came a wicked lilt to Marzia's smile when Eren's fingers curled into the soft supple flesh of her hips--his thumbs swiping over the partially exposed straps of her nude g-string as her skirt drifted further down. Head tilting down, their lips connected in a hot kiss that was all tongue as she invaded his mouth and he fought for dominance of hers. Lip gloss smearing over his lips, it left a slight stinging sensation wherever it touched. Biting his bottom lip as she pulled away, Marzia teased a trail up his jaw to his earlobe which she took between her perfect white teeth and tugged hard enough to earn a low halting groan from her dance partner.

Normally Eren would save this kind of behavior for the bedroom. Having grown up in a modest Jewish home with a strongly opinionated bubbe that never hesitated smacking him upside the head whenever he got too ahead of himself, he never let his urges get the better of him. Sure Eren could be stubborn and bullheaded at times and would mouth off to others, but he rarely ever cut loose the way he currently was. Hadn't even groped his ex-girlfriend the way he was groping Marzia even on his prom night when they had sex for the first time. But it had been a long day and he needed the release. Craved the momentary pleasure that would come if he let her have her way.

Humming his satisfaction as Marzia slipped her wandering hands into the back pockets of his fitted jeans and gave a firm squeeze while biting teasingly at his neck, he rolled his head to the side--eyes fluttering open only to see liquid starlight from across the dance floor. Leaning casually against the wooden bar with his elbows on the oak deck and a can of Modelo beer dangling from the fingers of his right hand, Levi mapped the length of their melted forms with his eyes--so nonchalant in his scrutiny--then met Eren's unabashed gaze. He was flanked on either side by Hanji and Erwin with Moblit standing between Hanji's slightly spread legs as she sat at the bar. Arching a brow with a smirk forming on his stupidly perfect lips, Levi chuckled. It was a barely there almost nonexistent gesture but Eren could see the shake of his shoulders as he smothered the laugh bubbling up in him.

In that moment, he had forgotten about who he was dancing with, who's hands were clawing at his ass through his jeans, and who's lips were laying claim to the column of his bronzed throat. All Eren could see in that moment was Levi. Couldn't tear his eyes away from him and his disgustingly pretty face as Marzia stood on her toes to kiss Eren; she whispering in Italian for him to come home with her. He knew what it meant. Understood how badly she wanted into his pants and, minutes before, he would have been more than ready to call it a night if it meant spending the rest of the evening screwing around in her bed. But something in the way Levi was looking at him gave Eren pause. It were as if he was daring him to go fuck around. Yet there was something else at play behind those eyes that burned him with their unforgiving gleam. Something indecipherable lied within those pools of molten starlight and it sent shivers down Eren's spine.

"Eren," Marzia whispered against his ear; her accent thick like honey. "Let's go home and fuck."

Uncertain if it was her words or Levi's smirk that had him getting hard, Eren swallowed the nerves growing in his throat. "Yeah," he answered, finally breaking the spell to look at her. "Let's get out of here."

She smiled and he attempted to look just as happy.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was barely on the horizon when Eren quietly padded up the drive to the villa. Back sore and shoulders stinging from the fresh tracks Marzia's nails had left, he made his way through the house--wincing every so often when a bead of sweat rolled over on of the welts. This was his punishment for getting carried away and letting the head in his pants override the one on his shoulders. Work would be torture that afternoon especially if Levi was feeling particularly ruthless.

'That asshole,' he frowned with a dichotomous expression as he ascended the stairs.

It was his fault Eren had to put in double the amount of work to get hard. It was also his fault that he hadn't finished the first time. He had never gone soft halfway through before. Had never had an issue reaching orgasm once or twice, sometimes even three times if he was feeling energetic and his partner was willing. But last night all he could think about was Levi, Levi, Levi. Even when he was inside Marzia with her moaning beneath him Eren could hear the mans voice in his ears and feel his gaze wandering over his hot sweaty skin. 'The fuck is wrong with me?' he chided himself. Even now, the jerk dwelled in the back of his mind like a ghost hanging in the rafters of an abandoned church. 

Opening his bedroom door, Eren carefully closed it behind him; the lock clicking into place with a muted "clack." Slipping his shoes off as the birds outside sang to each other, he contemplated going to bed but was too wound up. Too keyed up physically and mentally to knock out now. Combing his fingers through his hair, he dragged himself onto the balcony to watch the sun rise over the city. Eyes following the star as it sluggishly climbed higher and higher--its gentle golden light painting the glass windows, blanched apartments and house, and the Mediterranean as the waves broke across the shore--his gaze darted about lazily from his hands slung over the railing to the trees off to the right, then to the curtains flapping in the breeze.

That was curious. Levi never left his bedroom windows open. Was far too paranoid to let such a thing slip past him. But he couldn't have been awake either. He always woke up at seven-thirty on the dot because Eren was bullied into waking thirty minutes later every day. The shower wasn't running and there was no sound like the toilet flushing or the sink flowing. Intrigued, Eren walked on the balls of his feet--cringing when the wooden floor creaked beneath him until he was standing in the entryway of the neighboring room.

Levi was splayed out on his bed with the sheets torn away from his milk-fair limbs wearing a pair black boxer-briefs and a merle gray tank top that cut so low on his chest it would have shown more than just his lean muscle had he moved. Gazing upon him, Eren was suddenly reminded of the Barberini Faun and the erotic nature in which its legs were spread wide and its arms were carelessly twisted under the satyr's head. He couldn't stop himself from thinking Levi looked just like the infamous statue with the way in which his thighs were so wantonly parted with knees bent and the sheets pooling at his ankles and calves. Couldn't stop his heart from pounding or hands from sweating. Mind turning traitor, visions of Levi beneath him--naked and flushed covered in sweat--flooded his head and Eren could have choked on the cocktail of desire and confusion he felt in that moment.

The airy gasp as Levi shifted in bed tore Eren from his thoughts--away from the fantasies of the man biting his neck as he teased him through his boxers until he begged for deliverance. What was fueling these wicked desires? It wasn't just the way he had looked at Eren the other night when Marzia was all over him; her hands as greedy as his thoughts were in that moment as he stood there eyeing Levi like a man half starved. There was more. More to these whims but what it was exactly eluded him like the fog at night--just in sight but always out of reach.

Licking his lips and swallowing the excess spit to dampen his dry throat, Eren was frozen between longing to move closer so that he may touch that creamy skin and fleeing because he was more afraid of himself than he was of Levi throttling him if he woke up and caught him in his room. Willing himself into action, he had never moved as fast as he did in that moment--barely escaping as another moan seeped past those lips from across the room. Retreating to his bedroom, Eren closed the balcony doors behind him then collapsed to the ground when his legs decided to stop holding him upright. Slumping against the cool glass and painted wood, he carded trembling fingers through his hair once then twice before dragging them over his face with a drawn out groan. Gaze cast downward he wanted to die from embarrassment when he saw that his cock had turned traitor on him. Staring down at the bulge in his pants, he sighed with glassy eyes squeezed shut.

"Fuck..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any questions, comments, and/or concerns are welcome. Be sure to drop me a line in the comments section if you have any feedback. Happy reading!


	3. I Am A Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's been a long, long time  
> Since I've memorized your face  
> It's been four hours now  
> Since I've wandered through your place  
> And when I sleep on your couch  
> I feel very safe  
> And when you bring the blankets  
> I cover up my face"
> 
> -Sufjan Stevens, _Futile Devices_

..................one weekend in early June.................

"Sbrigati ragazzi!" Levi shouted from the front as he, Hanji, and Erwin disappeared beyond the downhill curve in the road.

He was always at the head of the pack. It were as if he were born to lead--nothing more and nothing less. Whether it be in the pits or in a classroom setting, Levi always came first leaving the rest to clamoring for second place. It was a part of who he was. A link in his genetic makeup that had been decided before he had breathed his first breath or took his first steps. Always ahead of the rest without any desire for glory, that was him. 

Part of Eren carried a seed of bitterness toward Levi. Everything came so naturally to him whereas Eren had to fight for every promotion, every A, every victory and stroke of "good luck." Or rather, instead of bitterness--it being too shallow and selfish of a term to properly describe what he felt--perhaps jealousy was closer to the emotional lens through which he viewed Levi's world. The favorite in his group of friends and the department darling of UC Berkeley, he could do no wrong. Untouchable. Infallible was he that he could likely destroy a priceless artifact and be pardoned of his sins by Petra and Shadis.

Eren hated Levi and, at the same time, didn't. It was easier to forget the confusion and muddled tangle of emotions he felt if he reduced them to base jealousy and enmity. It was less frustrating at night when the heat clung to him like plastic wrap as these thoughts swirled through his barely conscious mind, taunting him with their evasiveness--leaving him teetering on the brink of understanding and incomprehension like a boat out at sea caught between the calm skies over the shore and the brewing storm in the distance. It was easier this way, keeping Levi at an arm's length because it was the only way to protect himself from the threat the mans very existence posed.

Pedaling harder with sweat beading across his brow and rolling down the skin of his back beneath the wind dried fabric of his cotton tee, Eren knew there was no way to keep up with the three grads ahead of him. Watching their forms outlined in light--shapeless and dark with sunlight framing them--he heaved in another breath, exhaled, then breathed again; his lungs aflame from the exertion set upon him by their pace. The "Golden Three" Oluo had once called the trio over a couple of beers he had shared with Eren a week ago--it being too hot to dig in the pits but too muggy to do anything apart from sitting by the modest tiled pool that was in need of refurbishment near the south end where mosaic pieces had started to pop off and crumble.

Since coming to Italy five years ago, Hanji, Erwin, and Levi usually left and returned in a group. Every year their arrival was celebrated with an evening of feasting and drinking much like the ancient aristocrats of Pompeii who'd indulge in grandiose parties that showcased their wealth. The locals in town would anxiously await their return, namely the grannies who had grown fond of the two handsome Americans and their charming yet strange friend. "Movie star" or "Hollywood" was what they called them--the old women fawning over Erwin's princely appearance, Levi's wit, and Hanji's enthusiasm.

Everyone it seemed loved them which was why Eren couldn't stand being in the same room as them. Their impressiveness choked out the space for anyone else looking to ascend to the same lofty reaches they occupied. It was impossible to beat them and even more so for those looking to join them. They were an army of three that left the rest of the world in its wake.

Laughing breathlessly as Sasha and Connie rolled on by on their double-seater bike, Eren let his pace slow--not thinking twice as the group disappeared from view once more. They were heading toward the local museum that was assisting them with the plaster casts made at Pompeii and the wooden relics unearthed at Herculaneum. He was excited. More like he had woken up excited but in the hour they'd been riding their bikes his enthusiasm had begun to wane. Less energetic and more pessimistic now that he was left with his thoughts as company, he could not stop himself from reflecting back on the month that had miraculously passed in the time it took to blink.

He had found new friends in this strange lands, understood the language a bit more than he had before, and was more capable of holding a conversation during the dinner drudgery that happened every Sunday and Thursday when Petra and Oluo opened their doors to the neighbors for dinner. It wasn't uncommon for political arguments to crop up each time they invited the over Moretti's, who supported communism, and the Balotelli's, who were staunch fascists. Bickering like hens in their coup, they'd take jabs at one another calling each other anything from bastard to swine. Not long after drinks they'd bubble into a fit of laughter with cigar smoke wafting in the air, apologize to each other, and enjoy dessert and the music playing from the gramophone in the living room.

Indeed, things were not as foreign as they once were to him. Weren't as alien as the ruddy surface of Mars nor as suffocating when someone turned to him with expectant eyes. Eren had grown since then--since his first week when he stumbled over his words during breakfast when Greta asked if he wanted his eggs poached or scrambled. Could still remember the way Levi's mouth quirked in the left corner; the expression teasing the outline of a dimple into existence, the feature being unexpected yet entirely fitting on him. Could still hear the low roll of a chuckle as he continued to skim the newspaper in his hands as if he weren't paying attention to the comical exchange between Eren and the housekeeper.

"Brat," Eren heard him call; whether it be from memory or reality, he did not know. "Hey," the voice rang once more.

Turning to glance to his right, Eren might have flipped his bike had he not quickly put a foot down when he swerved left and right. "S-sorry," he stammered in time with the skidding of the ten-speed's wheels. "I wasn't paying attention."

"I'll say," Levi almost chuckled. Their pace was slow, leisurely cruising along the coast just them two with the others thirty or so feet ahead. "You okay?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?" he repeated. "You dropped away from the group so I thought something might have happened."

Eren's heart ached; that wretched thing turning traitor at the worst times. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

He didn't look at Levi. Couldn't meet his eyes because the man would see right through him if he did.

Eren shook his head. "Yeah. Just wanted to enjoy the view." He felt his skin catch fire under the intense gaze of Levi's steel eyes. Near-shivered at the electric pulses rolling through him as they moved along in perfect time, neither ahead or behind each other. "I'm fine," his voice above a whisper though not strong enough to be definitive.

"If you say so."

There was silence between them--suspended in the air like the heavens hung in their near loftiness above them hidden by the sun and illuminated in the night just as his secrets were when Levi looked at him the way he frequently did. Delving, searching, unrestrained, his gaze was more akin to an invasion of mental privacy, battering its way past any barriers erected to stop him in his tracks. Yet with that being said, the reason for Eren's unease still eluded him. What was he afraid of Levi finding? What revelation inside him was so shocking that even he himself did not understand where it had sprouted forth from? His faith in reason was flickering in the wind that meandered alongside them; dwindling like the sun at dusk, fading and dim before vanishing with one last gasp of warm orange light.

"You can go catch up with the others," Eren insisted; eyes glancing between his hands, the road, the coast--anywhere but Levi. "I'll be alright."

"I think I'll hangout in the back with you instead," Levi said. His gaze was easy--softer now as he looked ahead. "Hanji and Erwin know the way. I'll just take a breather back here."

"Suit yourself."

"Hey Eren..."

"Yeah?"

Their eyes met for the first time that morning as Eren turned away from the sea and looked at Levi.

A ghost of a smile pulled at Levi's lips. "Don't turn into a tree."

"What?"

Levi shook his head, laughing. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Praxiteles. Agesander of Rhodes. Lysippos. Epigonus. All the masters of the Hellenistic and Classical era's were situated in the marbled halls of the Museo Archeologico Nazionale di Napoli. Fragmented tapestries hung behind sheets of glass alongside renaissance paintings of Greek philosophers and Athens during its golden age. Portraits of Achilles pieced together into elaborate mosaics stood to rival those of Alexander the Great--all of them recovered from either Pompeii or Herculaneum.

Eren was a loss for words. Could not convey what he was feeling with such futile devices--words being too weak in their construction and meaning to express what bloomed to life within him. For as long as he could recall his own name, Eren had dreamt--no, longed to see these wonders up close. To step into their personal space and gaze upon the remnants--the very bones--of a civilization long since passed yet never forgotten. His being cried out in protest against the "Do Not Touch" signs mounted on the walls, the railings around the sculptures, and the glass boxes containing pottery pieces. Soul groaning and fingers twitching in suspension as they hovered above the delicate fingers of the Farnese Hercules Eren sought to cement himself in their world.

"Buongiorno bello," chirped Chiara from the other side of the main room where the Farnese marbles were housed. 

Like Marzia, she was art history major though, unlike Marzia, she had already graduated and was a curator at the Museo Archeologico. From the familiar way she greeted Levi and brushed a hand over his right arm, Eren could tell they were more than just friendly with one another. Chiara was beautiful; more so than the typical Italian beauty that graced the streets in her skirt or summer dress. She had curly untamed sandy blonde hair, golden skin so deeply loved by the sun, and bright jade green eyes. 'They've definitely fucked,' Eren thought to himself as he eyed her curvy figure up and down as if she were mocking him every time her hips swayed to and fro.

The surge of unjustified jealousy was so bitter and potent he could taste it in his spit as he bit back the snide remark that was dangling on tip of his tongue. Eren could see them in the dim candlelight of Levi's room--she laying on his bed propped up on her elbows as he kissed the smooth skin of her leg, untying her wrap dress as he worked his way up. She'd undoubtedly be smiling. Who wouldn't with someone like Levi as their bedmate? It made Eren's skin crawl and his gut burn. 'Damn playboy has the balls to call me out on my shit even when he's sleeping around just as much?' A smile was forced to his face when Chiara finished greeting Hanji and Erwin and turned her attention to him.

"You must be new," she smiled, her voice like honey flowing from the hive.

She was sweet; so hideously sugary sweet and feminine it made Eren uncomfortable just being near her. She was Venus--the embodiment of love and womanly wiles. The image of sex appeal and the desolation of man at the feet of their carnal desires. Soft, smooth, tall, and dangerous, Chiara could break any man--could no doubt break Eren if her mind were set to it. But she had chosen Levi. Had picked him because he was like her, flawless and stunning. They were Venus and Mars. Or better yet Aphrodite and her Anchises; a goddess and her beloved.

"This is Eren," Levi spoke with a hand placed on Eren's shoulder to, perhaps, comfort or ground him. "He's an undergrad from Columbia University."

"How interesting. You're the first student I've met from Columbia."

"Really?" Eren's brows furrowed. "Marlo and Hitch are grads from Columbia."

"Who?"

"Marlo and Hitch haven't met Chiara," Levi informed Eren politely--him leaning close enough that his breath could be felt on his ear. "They don't assist with digs or archiving so they wouldn't know her."

"O-Oh," Eren stuttered. 

Shifting under the weight of Levi's warm hand he fought to contain the pleasant shiver pushing its way down the column of his spine. Eren could feel the heat from his skin pooling between them--marveled at how hot Levi was though his face remained unflushed. Sneaking a glance to the side, the man was a composed as ever. Nothing could shake that unflappable disposition from him. He was as stoic as the marble heroes that surrounded them--calm, cool, and proud. Only his tensing grip and thumb rubbing soothing circles into Eren's tender flesh betrayed him though only slightly.

Eren could smell Levi--the scent of sunblock, earth, and ocean breeze clinging to him no matter what he did or how meticulously he washed his body. Could feel the strength in his hand and the caution in his touch. Eren felt weak. Like his knees would give out and his spine would turn to dust if Levi removed his hand from its place on his shoulder. He wanted to lean into that warmth, bury himself alive in the hollow of his chest, and make a home in a place he wasn't wanted. He wanted to understand Levi. Wanted to hate him more and more every day as these conflicting thoughts darted in and out of his head.

“Andiamo,” Levi commanded as Chiara began to lead the group away from the marbles, away from the space allotted for civilian use, away from the artifacts that Eren would soon learn were only a mere fraction of a percentage of what the museum had to offer.

Eren was so immersed in his thoughts that he had almost missed the urgent order to follow. He had only heard the last two syllables though he did not need more than that to know what had just been said. He still hated the word. Despised it almost as closely as he detested it when Levi signed off from conversations with a “later” tossed over his shoulder. Later… Why was it always later or andiamo or see ya’? Why couldn’t he just talk like a normal person?

It occured to Eren that perhaps the answer wasn’t that Levi was not “normal.” Perhaps what was so frustrating was that he was acting like everyone else and just didn’t care about him as much as Eren wanted him to. The rational less greedy, less needy side of him understood that there were many people contesting for his attention just as he sought out recognition and time with his professors in the field. It was to be expected that he would not have additional time to spare for someone he barely knew. 

Eren was just another drop in the bucket. Another face in the long line of many that had come before him and those that had yet to replace him. Unlike Levi, Eren was not a near-permanent fixture in Petra and Oluo’s summer home. His time was limited to a year whereas the Golden Three came and went as they pleased, spending half of their grad school years in Italy.

Unexpectedly, Eren could feel his heart ache as the reality of his relationship with Levi sank in. He’d never be anything to the man. Would remain insignificant and fleeting in his worth--this twisting into gut like a knife pulled from the flames before being plunged into his chest. _‘Why do I care?’_ Eren pondered listlessly with furrowed brows and a gentle pursing to his lips. Looking up, he glared at Levi’s back--cursed the delicate slope of his neck into his shoulders and the star shaped birthmark on the back of his neck. _‘I wish you would disappear. I wish you would just go back to California and never come back.’_

His breath faltered when Levi glanced over his shoulder offering Eren a sly smile that ever-so-slightly turned up the corners of his lips and narrowed the edges of his eyes.

_‘Please, just disappear.’_

For all the charm and effervescent youth Eren embodied back home, here he was stripped of his guises and laid bare in the daylight. Exposed by one man who could easily wreck him despite knowing nothing about him. Awkward at heart, anxious on the surface and held together by self-doubt, he couldn't hold eye contact with Levi. It was too much. Too intense. Too rough on his fragile nerves that had already began to fray at the center as if a blade had been taken to them and raked along the fibers with dutifully measured strokes.

Following close behind Chiara and her all-access curators badge, they entered the restricted section that sat just beyond the chaos of the main floors. There slumbering in silence were ancient sculptures, paintings fresh from their crates, fresco's waiting to be restored, and carbonized relics left over from Herculaneum and Pompeii's unceremonious demise. Eyes wide like a child waking up to snow outside their bedroom window, the clouds lingering in Eren's mind dispersed--swiftly replaced by a broad smile that reached his vibrant eyes and appled his cheeks.

There was so much to look at. Too much that it was nearly overwhelming. There were treasures drudged up from the Tyrrhenian Sea and ruins that had crumbled off the coast of Greece. Lewd life-size renderings of satyrs engaged in intimate acts with animals or people were huddled into the far right hand corner with suggestively sculpted statues of Venus and Dionysus. Surrounding a wooden crate inside which sat a golden sarcophagus embellished with lapis lazuli that was buried up to its sides in "packing straw" were the alabaster organ jars, wooden figurines of chariots and horses and cats, and golden dishes to hold incense offerings. Jeweled and gold painted oil jars of milk stone rested in their boxes with "fragile" and "handle with care" stamped onto the side of their wood carriers.

Yet grandest of all was the mosaic from the Villa di Papyri depicting Alexander the Great's conquest of the Persian army and the infamous King Xerces. Packaged in five separate pieces due to its size, the thirty feet long by eight feet tall masterpiece had been assembled in the back of the storage warehouse on a mounted plaque. Eren couldn't tear his eyes away from it. Was so totally enamored that he could feel his heart in love with the ancient world all over again. Like a non-believer coming to God at the foot of some mighty alter, this was his "call to faith." This, in his mind, was where the human soul rested; in the artworks created that would remain long after the bodies of their creators had turned to dust.

"Eren," Levi called from across the room. He turned to find the man walking toward him--alone without the company of his friends or Chiara. "I knew you'd find the mosaic's before anything else. So," he paused with his hands shoved into the pockets of his denim shorts, "what do you think?"

"It's beautiful," Eren breathed, the words a decidable or two above a whisper. Again, he felt his fingers itch with the urge to touch. "I can't believe they were able to save so much of it. It's absolutely massive and has almost all of its tiles."

"Yeah, it was a real pain in the ass to clean and crate up."

"You worked on this project?"

Levi laughed at the dichotomous look of disbelief and confusion the young man was wearing. "I did," he smirked; the expression conjuring a dimple to form in his right cheek. Pointing to the top right-hand corner of the mosaic, he leaned in and added, "You see those three blank spots in the orange border before it hits the bend of the corner? I wasn't paying attention and accidentally popped those out. They're setting two of the tiles back into place this afternoon."

"And the third?" Eren asked. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing again and the electric crackle in his spine returned when he heard Levi chuckle.

Biting his bottom lip, Levi pulled his left hand out of his pant pocket then opened it to reveal a small cubic orange tile. "Don't tell anyone that I still have this."

"L-Levi, that's--"

"Shh," he half laughed placing his other hand over Eren's mouth. "Yeah, it is and I could get in a lot of trouble for holding onto this."

"Then why are you holding onto it?"

He glanced to the stone with an endeared smile. "To remind myself that it wasn't a dream." Levi then looked to Eren, his gaze still kind and gentle before it fell to something more somber and inquisitive. Hesitating, Eren could see him tumbling his words over again and again in his head before they came to rest on his tongue where they sat for moments after. "Eren," he said but stopped, rubbed the back of his neck as the hand holding the tile returned to its pocket. "Did I...did I do something to piss you off?"

That was unexpected. "What?" Eren asked, biting back his stutter.

"I said did I do something to piss you off?" Shifting anxiously where he stood when Eren didn't answer--the kid just standing there blinking curiously at him--Levi let go of a rough sigh. "Look, I'm not good at this and I know I can be an asshole when we're out in the field but if you've got a problem I'd appreciate you telling...hey, are you listening?"

Eren shook his head then swallowed hard on the nerves building in the back of his throat when he saw those pools of starlight boring into him. What he would give to stare back into them for an eternity. _'Wait, no, stop thinking like that,'_ he scolded himself.

"Yeah, I'm listening. Sorry, it's been a weird month and I'm still adjusting."

"You sure that's all?" Levi asked, the look in his eyes telling Eren that he knew there was more to it but was not going to drag it out of him.

_'No that's not all. I hate you and adore you. I want you to disappear but then I want you to stay forever. I want to crawl into your bed like the freak I am and wrap myself around you. I want to hate you because you're so beautiful and funny and brilliant and everything else I'll never be. I want to kiss you and fuck you. I want you to destroy me,'_ Eren thought all within the time it took to blink. _'I want you to disappear so I can go back to how I was before. Why are you doing this to me? Why does it have to be you?'_

Levi could feel the mounting unease roiling up beneath Eren's skin. Could feel it wafting off of him in waves the longer they stood in silence.

"How about this," he spoke lowly as one of the curators passed by just a couple feet away. "Let's start over."

"Start over?" Eren parroted back. It was the only thing he could manage.

"Yeah. We'd forget any hard feelings and start over as friends, 'kay?"

 _'Friends.'_ Eren thought with a fluttering heart. "Sure. You still gonna be an asshole in the pit?"

"Only if you act like a dick and mouth-off to me."

"Hey, I don't do that anywhere near as often as you say I do."

"Yeah, you kinda do."

"No I don't," Eren insisted--his protests becoming something more akin to whines. His expression slumped into a frown with an arched brow when Levi snorted a laugh. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, seriously, say it."

"It's just," he started with a lopsided grin peppered with fondness and humor, "you're such a brat. It's kinda hilarious."

"Wow, thanks."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"How can being a brat be a good thing?"

Levi just rolled his eyes then jerked his head toward the left. "Come on. There's other shit to see."

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Friends. Eren turned the word over in his head again and again as he laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling--the blanched white wall brightening and dimming as the blades of the fan sliced through the moonlight pouring in from the open veranda. Was that what he wanted from Levi? To be friends? He certainly did not want to be his enemy nor did he, upon closer inspection of his thoughts, want the man to disappear. But friends? What did that mean? Would it be like the mellow intimate but not intrusive friendship he had with Armin? Or would it be the kind that he had with Jean--explosive at first before settling into something more closely resembling the bond between brothers than friends.

It was hot again and muggy--the air feeling something like soup yet not damp enough for it to cause his boxers to cling to his dewy skin. Eren could still hear the dinner guests sharing stories with one another as they finished dessert with a glass of wine. The Balotelli's had dropped by but, oddly enough, were not in the mood for goading on the Moretti's. Instead they laughed together as Petra regaled her audience with the story of her first dig and how she had humiliated herself in front of all her peers, including Oluo whom she had only just met. He finished her story with a sly "and would you believe that I'd marry the same klutz that had knocked me onto my ass in a muddy pit."

Eren chuckled. It reminded him of how his parents met at summer camp--both of them at that awkward stage of puberty where they had just started going into their adult bodies but hadn't abandoned the shells of childhood yet. They attended the same temple and lived in the same neighborhood when Carla's family moved to Brooklyn when she was seven. But it wasn't until they were thirteen that they met at summer camp. Grisha told Eren and Zeke that he didn't know how to flirt because he was so painfully awkward around women--young and old--that he insulted Carla without meaning to and wound up getting clocked in the face. Almost a decade later they were married and expecting their first child.

Rolling his head to the side, Eren's gaze followed a cricket that had gotten onto the balcony while pondering if he'd ever find his "one." What it meant to find your person eluded him. Could one person even be enough to give someone all that they were lacking? Was one person enough to support them and sustain them? His parents looked happy enough as did Petra and Oluo who'd been married just as long, if not longer than Carla and Grisha. It seemed like more people were getting divorced than there were couples getting married. How could something so powerful be discarded so easily? 

Love was a mystery; a fairy-tale Eren wasn't sure if he wanted to partake in. It always seemed to flow in the exact same order starting with a fluttering kind of joy that left its victims breathless only to have them gutted by strife and grief at the end. Whether it be divorce, a mutual falling out, or death, someone would always lose and Eren did not want to lose. He did not want to hurt or cry over someone who would not come back or mourn the loss of his "other half." Didn't want to stay up late at night sighing like a starry eyed girl would as she poured her thoughts into her diary. Yet there he laid, sighing deeply as his head rolled to the side again to gaze upon the wooden door of the bathroom--the only other connection to Levi that he had apart from the balcony.

There was a light on but there wasn't supposed to be. Not this late at least. Everyone on Levi's dig team had gone to bed early that night because they were going to wake up at five o'clock so they could spend the majority of the day digging up the rest of the villa that had--foot by foot--been unearthed and carefully preserved. Fresco's of Venus, Bacchus, and nymphs at play waited for their loving touch to return and reapply the plastic dressings that had been placed over them for protection. The statue of a bathing Venus and Cupid which Levi had dutifully and gingerly uncovered sat in silence anticipating his hands to free the last four feet of the masterpiece so that it may once more dazzle viewers; stirring their hearts and loins with a kind of reverence best kept behind bedroom doors.

Yet even so--even with the approaching day's schedule being as busy as it was--there was still a light on in Levi's room. It wasn't the big overhead light which he rarely used. He once saying something about it being soul-sucking and irritating to the eyes. Rather, the illumination was soft and warm like a candle or gas lamp. Eren had learned in weeks prior that the man frequently fell asleep with a candle burning in the early evening only to wake up sometime after midnight to blow it out after going to the bathroom. But unlike the other nights Eren could hear movement on the other side of the door. Not in the bathroom but in Levi's room.

He laid there for a moment than another and another until by some unseen magic he found his legs moving, bending over the edge of the bed to slip his feet into his plain black house slippers, and carrying him to the door. His hand hovered above the knob trembling with some strange concoction of anticipation, excitement, and nausea. Eren wasn't sure what would happen if he opened that door and invaded Levi's personal space. Not only was it late but they also weren't that close to begin with. Levi may have offered Eren his friendship but that didn't mean he could wander into the mans room whenever he pleased. But still, there he stood with fingers stretching to wrap around the knob.

The door swung open with a lazy drawn out creak with Eren sheepishly following it on quiet feet in the off chance that Levi had fallen asleep in the minutes it took for him to decide whether or not he was going to go inside. But he wasn't asleep. Rather he was very much awake. Huddled into the stack of fluffed pillows with his legs folded and glasses slumping down the elegant stoop of his petite nose, Levi delved into the papers strewn across his bed. There were pictures of various artifacts from their dig site and ones of objects he'd never seen before though they were marked with a red date in the corner that placed them as something found a week or two weeks ago. Parts of his rough rough draft for his thesis sat in clumps with pink, green, and yellow Post-It note tabs stuck to certain pages with text scrawled on them.

Eren froze when Levi looked up. He had had his earbuds and the music on high so there was no way he could have heard him. But after the initial shock of seeing someone else in his room, Levi casually removed the devices with a puzzled expression. It was no doubt that he was trying to decipher Eren's motives. The young man had never been as bold as to enter his space even though Levi regularly intruded into his every morning.

"Hey," Levi said. Again his voice was soft like a brothers would be when discovering their sibling crying on their bed.

"Hey."

Silence fell between them. Levi swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as he did. Eren shifted from one leg to the other hoping to alleviate some of his worries.

"You okay?"

Eren looked up. He wasn't okay. Nowhere near okay. "Not really. Couldn't sleep so..."

"Bad dream?"

"No, just couldn't really fall asleep."

"Oh..." Levi trailed off, his gaze falling to the bed then floor. Why was this so awkward for them. "You can hangout in here if you want. I'm going to be up for a while so it's fine as long as you don't talk too much."

"Really?" Eren slapped himself mentally for sounding so eager. Licking his lips, he wandered to the couch where he plopped down and quickly rotated to lay on his side. "You working on your thesis?"

He looked up, peered at Eren over the rim of his glasses, then back down to his papers. "Yeah. Why?"

"No reason."

"Really now?"

Eren silently choked on his words. Turned onto his back when his nervousness got to be too great. "Uh huh. Maybe I can proofread it for you when you finish. I was an editor for my school paper for a while so I'm good at catching things others don't notice."

Levi chuckled.

"What?"

"Sure," Levi agreed, smirking as the faint blush painting Eren's cheeks grew when the kid snuck another glance at him. "But you'll have to wait a while because I won't be done with the first draft for another two months."

"Two months?" Eren snorted a laugh. "That's not long."

"If you say so. Anyway, I have to get back to organizing this mountain of drivel so radio silence, 'kay."

"'Kay."

With that Levi pushed his earbuds back into his ears and got back to work while Eren stretched out across the couch feeling more at ease in his neighbors room than his own. He lost track of time there. Just watched the candle's light play across the ceiling as it danced wildly throwing its patterns onto the walls, floor, and fan as it spun above them. Slowly succumbing to sleep with the same reluctance as a child, he fought to keep his eyes open. Yawned in protest of the encroaching drowsiness. Turning onto his side with his head propped up on a throw pillow, a barely-there smile curled the corners of his lips as his eyes studied Levi's countenance and the way his hair, wavy from being pulled back all day, now framed his face.

 _'You really are beautiful,'_ he thought quietly as sleep took him. "Alexander..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER!: To all of you archaeologists in training, don’t be like Levi and take pieces of archaeological remains home with you from historical sites. They’re hundreds of thousands of years old and belong to the country they originated from. Instead, be like Indiana Jones and tell pillagers that those artifacts belong in a museum....because they do belong in a museum.
> 
> Ciao!
> 
> -Mars


	4. Fireflies in Tall Grass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The evil it spread like a fever ahead_   
>  _It was night when you died, my firefly_   
>  _What could I have said to raise you from the dead?_   
>  _Oh could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?_
> 
> _"Well you do enough talk_  
>  _My little hawk, why do you cry?_  
>  _Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?_  
>  _Or the Fourth of July?_  
>  _We're all gonna die"_
> 
> _Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head_  
>  _Was it all a disguise, like Junior High_  
>  _Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction_  
>  _Now, where am I? My fading supply_
> 
> _"Did you get enough love, my little dove_  
>  _Why do you cry?_  
>  _And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best_  
>  _Though it never felt right_  
>  _My little Versailles"_
> 
>    
> -Sufjan Stevens, " _Fourth Of July_ "

..................... _early morning, July 4th_.....................

The air was thick and murky with the mounting humidity as the sun slowly crept over the horizon. Eren's snapped to attention--eyes opening wide with his face pressed into his pillow when the balcony doors in the room over were flung open, their knobs smacking the wall outside with a muted "thwack." He was surprised they were still bolted to the wall considering the age of the near ancient bolts and hinges that held the heavy wooden shutters in place. Sigh escaping past his lips that smacked together lazily, he drifted back in and out of sleep. It was barely ten past five o'clock--much too early for him to even humor the idea of leaving his comfy bed and fluffed duvet.

Lashes dusting his cheeks as they fought against his waking mind, it was a losing battle as his eyes closed once more. Eren smiled as the breeze blew in through the open balcony entrance. He left it open every night now since he and Levi often spent their evenings together--he questioning his upperclassman as the young man worked on his thesis with growing perplexity. Sometimes while he was writing Levi would get so caught up in what he wanted to say that it would spew out onto the pages in a jumbled mess that he would then hand over to his companion. He wasn't too bad on most nights. A couple sentences would run over into one another here and there and some just wouldn't make sense at all. But his writing was clear, concise, and cohesive for the most part. Yet last night there were more mistakes than usual and Levi had smoked more cigarettes than he normally did before bed.

Cracking an eye open just enough to see past his lashes and bangs that had spilled over his face, Eren caught Levi's shadow lingering on the balcony; it's owner out of sight though not by much because the stream of smoke coming from his cigarette floated past Eren's side of the veranda. He was about to call out to him--ask why he was up so early but stopped when he heard his voice, low and rough, slink in under the currents of cicada's, birds chirping, and the newsboy's vespa passing by as he dropped off the daily paper.

"Hey mom," Levi said quietly, his voice watery yet still carrying a faint smile in it. "Sorry, did I wake you guys up?"

There was silence for a moment.

Levi laughed. "Yeah, I keep forgetting that it's yesterday over where you guys are. How's everyone doing?" Levi listened to her respond, a sniffle escaping him as he did. There was another laugh. "Figures she would sign up for a summer class then whine about it midway through. Izzy never did have a strong sense of conviction when it came to math. Why would she take a calc class over summer break if she knows it's going to be a fast-paced course?" Another pause and another sniffle. "Uh huh... Oh really? No, I didn't know that she needed her entire calculus series to get a degree in coding. Well shit, that sucks."

Eren could almost hear Levi's mother when she snapped at him to watch his language. As laid-back as she purportedly was--taking the more laissez-faire approach to parenting as her children aged--the only thing Kuchel would not tolerate was "sailor talk" i.e. profanity. ' _It cheapens the intellect of the speaker_ ' Levi had explained to Eren a few days ago when he had corrected himself after saying "fuck."

"Anyway, I just wanted to drop a line to see how everyone is and that you and dad aren't dying under a mountain of paperwork." Levi laughed again--this time almost abruptly likely in response to something humorous his wise-cracking mother said. "I know, I know. But for once let this kettle call out the teapots." There came a soft sigh as the smile left his voice. "Yeah, it's already July fourth over here. No... No I'll be fine. We're climbing Vesuvius today and working on a couple of plaster molds we cast a few days ago so I'll be keeping busy." Silence then, soon after, another listless chuckle. "Yeah, I'll call you later. Say hi to Tabby for me and give her my love. I'm sorry I couldn't be there again this year. No, I know it's not my fault but I still feel bad about it." Levi was quiet again before some measurable brightness returned to his voice. "'Kay. I will. Okay mom, I get it. Alright, I'm signing off. Love you guys. Later."

' _So he says later to his family too,_ ' Eren mused as he listened to the strained sighs and sniffling coming from the balcony.

He wanted to move; to get up and see if Levi needed anything or just a shoulder to cry on. Eren knew he was crying. Could hear him struggling to stop himself from where he laid in his bed. It didn't happen often but sometimes Levi would wake up in the middle of the night--likely from a bad dream--and escape to the balcony where he'd sit on the cold ground with his head pressed against the wall and eyes closed as he cried in secret. But it wasn't always in secret. Sometimes Eren would wake up and hear him suffering in private much like he had that morning.

Despite being friends and growing closer by the day Eren still knew little about Levi's life outside of school, his work as the head tutor for the department, and his dreams of one day finding the Temple of Luna and the Colossus of Rhodes. Through conversation Eren had learned that he had two adopted siblings--a younger brother named Farlan and a little sister named Isabel, he hated brussel sprouts and cooked whole tomatoes, always slept with some kind of light on, went to a therapist when he was seven for weird dreams of man-eating monsters, had a boarder collie named Lando, and had been friends with Hanji and Erwin since the third grade when they were all forced to partner up for a class science project. Apart from that and small bits here and there, Levi was still a mystery.

Eren didn't know what caused him to wake in the dead of night or rise early in the morning--didn't know what memories were so terribly painful that he numbed them with his excessive smoking and long walks through the neighborhood at night. But Eren did know that it made him sick to his stomach with sympathy and a strange sense of longing to just take Levi in his arms and hold him until the tears had stopped and the sorrow was no more. He wanted to care for him the same way the man cared for everyone else around him. Bravely wearing that stoic expression, sometimes a smile, even though he was feeling lower than the ground beneath them. He wanted to help carry the burden the way Levi did--a regular Atlas bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders. Eren wanted to be closer; to crawl deep inside his heart, find him where he was at his most vulnerable and flawed and admire the scars as he kissed each and every one.

This was Eren's secret; the confession he would never utter because they were friends. Friends didn't take on each others burdens the way he wanted to. They didn't hold each other late at night bathed in moonlight on the balcony as one cried and the other stroked their hair. Friends didn't kiss and lay in bed together staring at one another as they memorized the number of beauty marks on their face, neck, and chest. ' _Five,_ ' Eren suddenly recalled as the thought passed through his still hazy mind. ' _Levi has five beauty marks on his face, neck, and clavicle._ He also had a star shaped birthmark on the back of his neck; well, less on the neck and closer to the bottom and off to the left by the top of his shoulder blade.

Squeezing his eyes shut and shifting so that his face was buried in the duvet, Eren feigned sleep as Levi padded into his room from the open doors on the veranda. With one last sniffle, he let go of a breath then placed a hand on the kid's shoulder. He didn't smell as strongly of cigarette ash as he normally did when he chain-smoked. ' _He must have cut it off at one this morning._ ' Faking a groan as Levi gently rocked him, Eren fought to calm his heart when the guy leaned down and urged him to rise--his lips less than a breath away from the shell of his ear.

"Eren," Levi called with an endeared tone, a smile slowly working its way back onto his face as he watched the brunette frown and whine. "Hey, seriously now, it's time to get up. We've got to get dressed and eat before heading out."

It was so sweet. So hideously sappy and sugary like syrup poured atop Levi's words as he gingerly rocked the young man awake. Since the first night Eren had fallen asleep on Levi's couch, this type of morning greeting was becoming more common than the other during which his upperclassman had burst into the bedroom unannounced shouting commands in fluent Italian. It was different because not only was the method gentle, it was strangely intimate as if he were trying to rouse his lover from a deep sleep. The fingers that played with the hair that had fallen in his face before smoothing it away. The soft tingling of Levi's breath as it washed over his skin and the blushing of his ears when he swore the mans lips touched his temple for a brief moment. It had to be a dream. There was no way this could be real because, if it were real, Eren would die from a joyful heart.

"Come on brat, I mean it." There it was, the nickname Levi had chosen for him. The one that--despite its textbook definition being condescending--Eren knew he used it out of fondness and, maybe, endearment.

Giving in because he was too weak-willed to wait it out to see what else Levi would do, Eren tilted his head--mouth and nose still partially hidden by the pillows--and smiled. He couldn't help but smile when his Alexander was standing right there.

"Is it that time already?" he feigned drowsiness while stretching both arms and legs, body twisting happily beneath the sheets.

"It's a little earlier than usual but I thought maybe we could do some copy editing before breakfast."

"Wow, you sure know how to entice a man," Eren joked.

Levi rolled his eyes as he pushed the rebellious bangs away from the kids forehead. "Your hair's getting longer."

Eren's heart skipped. "Is it?" he almost stuttered. "Guess I should start looking for a barber."

"Why? It looks good on you. Anyways, come on brat. It's time to face the daylight."

Eren curled into a ball and hissed dramatically with hands frozen into claws as Levi pulled the sheets back. This was also another game they played. He acting childishly and Levi accommodating him because his ridiculous over-the-top reactions made him laugh more than anyone else could. There was just something different about the kid. Something about his personality and the combination of quirks that made him more charming and endearing than annoying or bratty. If anyone else tired pulling half of the bull Eren did Levi wouldn't have a lick of patience for it let alone tolerance. However, the young man had cast a spell over him--dulling him to the strangeness. They still fought at times but it had boiled down to something more akin to bickering than the full-blown verbal brawls they used to get into when Eren first arrived in Naples.

Chuckling as Eren leapt from his bed all bright eyed and bushy tailed, they stared at one another for a long moment; took in the sight of each other in their t-shirts and sleeping boxers. Levi wore the same dark grey shirt and dark green and blue plaid cotton boxers to sleep every night. Only when he did laundry did it change. But Eren rotated through his boxers--a different pair for every day of the week--and slept in his favorite Talking Heads tee with small holes worn into the fabric around the neck. Glancing down as the kid yawned, Levi smirked. Today's color was flamingo pink.

"I'll go get dressed. See you downstairs?"

"Uh huh," Eren agreed as he stretched. "Later."

It wasn't a complete whole-hearted laugh but it made Levi chuckle when he heard the kid use his signature sign-off. In the two months they had known one another they had witnessed their mannerisms transmit from one to the other. The more time they spent together the more it happened. Levi would hear the brat say ' _later_ ' or ' _andiamo_ and had caught him midway through a debate with the newest arrival, Greta from the University of Copenhagen who didn't appreciate him always nitpicking at her apparent messiness in the pits. In opposition to that was Levi and how he had become more mellow thanks to Eren's breezy devil-may-care approach to life. Even Hanji had commented once or twice about how he was more approachable than before. Did they really have that kind of affect on one another? Was their connection so strong that it had already begun to morph them into different characters--one's that shared numerous similarities and peculiarities? Was that even possible in such a short amount of time?

Either way, Levi did not question it any further. It wasn't in his nature to doubt himself or fight what came naturally or felt right to him. If this was how things were to be between them then that was how it would continue from there on out. For once, Levi wanted to get swept up in something greater and be taken by surprise.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

"I can't believe we're actually doing this," Eren said aloud. ' _I can't believe I'M doing this._ '

Levi snorted a short laugh to the kids left. "It's not that big of a deal Eren. Vesuvius is dormant and there's no signs of her blowing her stack any time soon." He finished tying himself into his repelling gear and looked up with a kind open expression. "It's fine. The steam coming out of the fissures and cracks just means that it's releasing added tension through outgassing. This kind of activity is totally normal, 'kay?"

"Y-Yeah, okay." Eren could have kicked himself for how timid his words sounded especially when he was trying his best to not to look like some frightened child who was about to be lowered into a steaming caldera with six other classmates and two professors. 

One wrong move and he could tumble down the steep terrain and destroy himself on the jagged rocks and sparse vegetation that managed to grow inside the hollowed out remains of the cone. Even more unfortunate would he be if someone tried to help him and wound up being dragged along. ' _It'd be a death with little dignity,_ 'he snarked to himself. True, he never was the graceful sort. Eren could be standing on flat ground and find some way to trip over his laces that had miraculously come undone and then choke on the bubblegum he was chewing all before hitting the pavement. "Murphy's Law" his mother used to call him; still did behind his back though she refrained from saying it to his face since she knew it bothered her son. Armin and Mikasa got a kick out of it but Jean was always the one cackling whenever Eren pulled off one of his outrageous blunders.

Yet Levi knew better than to trust Eren's words. He could feel the tension rolling off of the brat in layers, one right after the other as his faintly trembling fingers worked to do a figure-eight follow-through knot. When he missed on the fifth try Levi intervened--a sharp "shush" silencing Eren when he tried to protest. Swatting his hands away, Levi's took hold of the rope and confidently laced the cord through the hole on the harness, looped it back around in a serpentine fashion, then repeated the process once more before giving both ends a firm tug.

"There," he stated with a look of victory. "Now it's tied."

"Show off," Eren groused.

Levi just chuckled, shaking his head as he patted Eren's shoulder. "It's not a contest brat. I'm just looking out for you."

 _Cheater, saying things like that._ "Sorry. I just...it's just I've never climbed with gear before. I'm more of a bouldering kind of guy."

"You aren't afraid of heights are you?" When Eren didn't answer--only looked down with blush dusting his cheeks--Levi let out a soft sigh. "You could have said something you know. I wouldn't have asked you to come if I knew you were uncomfortable with this."

"I know but I thought it wouldn't be too bad since it's slopped and there's level areas." _It's not like I could tell you I'm doing this because I want to be near you. You'd hate that for sure right? You'd be grossed out if you knew how much I wanted to cling to the time we spend together right because it's not normal. It's not what friends do._

"It's the inside of a volcano Eren. Of course it's going to be high."

"Look I'm sorry okay," he snapped. He didn't mean to but it just came out of him without any kind of warning. "Sorry," he frowned with another sigh. "I just...I wanted to at least try but I guess it was a stupid idea." _I'm the one that's stupid. God, I'm such an idiot getting myself into this when it'd only be a burden on him. Please don't hate me. I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't say anything to get my point across to you._

Levi stood there waiting as Eren warred with the thoughts in his head then waited some more until he had the right words to say. "It's alright. We're all afraid of something brat but it doesn't make us any less brave or strong. I'm terrified of whales and clowns," he smiled shyly as he divulged his secrets hoping that it would get the kid to lighten up. "And I always cross the street when I see a chow because I was bitten by my aunts dog when I was eight and still have the scars on my legs to prove it. It's okay to be afraid. If you really want to do this, I won't stop you. Just don't think there's any pressure on you to do it, 'kay?"

"Yeah," was all he could manage; green eyes fixed on the ground beneath his worn hiking boots.

Standing silent for a moment, Levi bent to the side so that he could see Eren's expression. _Of course he'd be pouting. Damn brat always pushing himself for the sake of others._ "Anyway," he said while standing up straight, "stay close to me and call if you need to stop or want to go back up. Also, it's less intimidating if you look at your shoes and the immediate area around you--not to far down or up."

"Right. Thank you Levi."

"It's fine Eren. Just keep close to me alright and I'll make sure you get down in one piece."

As if Levi had to tell him twice. The man could tell him to follow him into the maw of some great beast conjured from Greek folklore and Eren would do it. He would follow this Alexander anywhere. _My Alexander..._ he wished in silence. What traitorous thoughts these were. Levi had given him friendship, understanding, and acknowledgement and all Eren had done was sully these pure acts. Had taken this man who was certainly a brother figure to all and stained him with unwarranted desire and an unspoken urge to monopolize him. Eren wanted to be inside his head--inside his heart where he would then build a home and never leave. A place that belonged only to him that couldn't be touched by anyone else. How deeply did he wish for Levi to desire him the way he pined for him.

With eyes closed and a deep breath, Eren dropped into the caldera leaving the ghosts of his troubles and worries at the top--they slowly waving goodbye to him as he repelled even further away. Pumice, dirt, and dried out foliage crunched beneath the weight of his feet, grinding louder as he came to a skidding halt. Hands clamouring to firmly grip the length of rope behind him whilst keeping control of the lead attached to the front of his harness, he huffed out with sweat beading on his brows.

"Hey, you okay?" Hanji asked as she stopped on the wall next to him. There was dirt smudging the perfectly tanned skin of her face and small cuts on her arms from rubbing up too close to the well. "You look a little green in the gills, Ere-bear."

"It's nothing," he lied again. It was already embarrassing enough knowing Levi had found him out so easily. "I'm just a little lightheaded from the steam."

"Same. I get a little woozy from the smell of sulfur too. Something about it gets me every time."

"Yeah, it's pretty bad."

Hanji was silent; observing him when he wasn't busy watching her through the corner of his eyes. "I'm gonna take it easy and move slow. Last time I went too fast I lost control of my lead and fell ten feet. Levi had a cow with that one. So I'm just going to hang out and take my time, 'kay."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"In case you wanted to keep me company. It'd also be a good idea to tell someone just in case I had another accident."

"Man you're strange," Eren said without even thinking; blushed even harder when Hanji started laughing.

"You and Levi just say whatever you guys want, huh? Well it's fine. I know I'm weird so it's not like you're telling me anything new."

 _Very, VERY strange._ But rather than pondering it further, Eren just let her be. "We should start moving. Petra and Oluo are already close to the bottom."

"They always make it to the bottom first Ere-bear. There's no use in trying to make it there before them. Just enjoy the view and remember to keep your eyes on the wall."

Following the climb was a lecture on volcanism and the destructive powers Plienan explosions possessed and how rare it was to witness such events since there were certain qualities that had to be met before the eruption for it to result in multiple pyroclastic surges. After surveying the land inside the steaming bowl of dirt and gravel Petra made a bet that none of the new faces could find a "bomba." With very little description--it being a round rock with crystals inside--she watched as the first years scrambled about looking for one. Their reward would be a day without any chores around the house and they could take one "defunk" artifact home with them so long as it could fit in their pocket.

Eren observed as Sasha and Connie scrambled about with even Annie casually turning over rocks with the same nonchalance she exhibited every moment of every day. It was odd but he couldn’t think of a reason to do as they were doing and join in. He did chores at home and regularly cleaned his apartment when struck with a fit of perfectionism so the "no chores for a day" bit didn't phase him. And there was nothing he wanted either. All possible things he could imagine had already been claimed by the museums or by the archaeologists working for them. There was nothing he wanted--not that he could think of.

"I think this is the first time I've seen a first year sit this out," Levi huffed as he sat down next to Eren on the flattened boulder that had been smoothed from centuries of rain and weathering.

"I can't have any of the things I want so what's the point?"

Pursing his lips as he watched the others shuffling rocks around, Levi looked to his feet. "I think I may have something you want."

Eren almost choked on the breath that had lodged itself in his throat. "Really?"

Levi shook his head.

"Like what?"

"What if I told you I actually had two tiles from that mosaic?" Glancing to his side, he snorted a laugh at the slack jawed wide-eyed expression on Eren's face. "A fly's gonna fly into mouth if you don't watch it."

"Do you really have another tile?" It were as if he hadn't heard Levi's comment at all. He was too fixed on the thought of having a piece of the famed Alexander mosaic even if it was technically illegal to possess such a thing. Facing lighting up when Levi shook his head, Eren could have squealed with excitement. "If I find a bomba, can I have it?! Please?!"

Levi hadn't expected such a reaction and nearly fell over as his head snapped back with unrestrained laughter. "Sure. I was going to give it to you anyways when I left in January but if you want it now you have to find a bomba for Petra. Got it?"

"I'll find two then just in case."

"Take it easy brat. One's fine. Now get going. You've only got fifteen minutes left of lunch to find one."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Eren laid on the warm sand with knees bent and hair damp from the sea. Through his sunglasses his eyes followed the tile he turned in his fingers, smile growing every time his fingertips brushed the smooth glossy face and rubbed against the rough porous sides. He had only found one bomba geode but thankfully Levi hadn't taken him up on his naive promise to find two. Rather, he gave the piece over to Eren without complaint or comment about how he hadn't found a geode for Oluo. Instead Levi fished in his worn and true backpack with mended tears in the strap and siding and pulled out the tile that had been lovingly wrapped in layers of tissue and cloth.

It was light gray with a hint of blue just like starlight. _Just like his eyes._ Eren could see them now even as he reclined on the beach while Levi swam in the ocean with his friends. Those beautiful mercurial pools that drew him in like a moth to the flame. Those eyes as lovely as the moon and rimmed with thick black lashes. He could feel them on him now as if it weren't a tile Eren was holding in his hands but Levi's countenance.

His heart ached and gut knotted. Eren could hear the others playing along the shore and Levi shouting at Hanji to stop splashing him as they swam. Even when he was angry his voice was smooth and refined. Everything, just everything, was so close to perfection that even his imperfections were glazed over the same way the golden sunshine of the Italian sun washed over the city and made all her flaws beautiful. Eren could see Levi's fair back from where he sat on the shore; watched as his bones and muscles moved under the sun-kissed alabaster flesh as he swam to avoid Hanji who came at him with playful intent. He could see his smile and how, for the second time that afternoon, it reached his eyes. The sadness that was looming over the upperclassman that morning was gone. Replaced by the sunshine and good company for now.

Eren wanted to join them. Wanted to swim out there and be amongst the Golden Three--the prized students that could do no wrong because there wasn't a single fault to be found between them. Erwin was charismatic and wickedly talented when it came to running a crew. So masterful in his ways that Eren was thankful that he didn't work under the blonde because then all his secrets would be found out. Hanji knew everything there was to know about the ancient world from Greece to Germania and the Norse fighting the Celts. She was overflowing with knowledge that Eren had to wonder how she crammed it all in there to begin with. The human mind could only retain so much information before it began to forget other things but Hanji never did. She just absorbed it all like a sponge fastened to the side of a coral reef. Then there was Levi.

Eren had many things he could say Levi was and wasn't. Even more things he could say he admired him for. Intelligence, charm, independence, his beauty... Not a hair on his head could be faulted for being imperfect. Maybe that was why Eren sought him out so obsessively. Though he admired his brother Zeke for being just as infallible, there was something different about Levi. Something magnetic--dangerous in its allure but so addicting that he never wanted the man to be out of view. That smile that glowed like the sun, Eren wanted to swim out there and kiss him breathless. To taste the salt from the sea on his lips and feel his cool smooth skin rub against his sun-warmed arms, legs, and stomach. He wanted to breath him in, feel Levi's arms around him, and savor the press of their cheeks against each other.

His heart nearly leapt from his chest when he heard Levi call to him. ' _Friends. We're just friends._ ' And what a lousy friend he would be seen as if Levi ever found out that Eren jerked off while thinking about him almost every other night. ' _I'm such a creep. Fuck I hate myself,_ ' he bit back the harsh words as Levi waved for him to join them. But despite his self-loathing Eren gave in. Tucking the tile away for safekeeping inside a pillbox in his backpack, he removed his sunglasses and sprinted to the water with a smile before diving under an oncoming wave.

"Took you long enough," Levi chuckled, his hand ruffling Eren’s shaggy hair as they treaded water to stay afloat. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever come out here."

Shivering when he felt the gentle caress of Levi's fingers dust the shell of his ears, Eren smiled as best as he could. "I was preoccupied with something."

"I'll say. You would've burned to a crisp if you laid there daydreaming any longer," Hanji joked. "Hey Levi, now that Ere-bear's in, last one to the cave cleans the dishes tonight."

"Idiot, Sasha and Connie are already doing the dishes."

"Doesn't matter. I'm still gonna beat you!"

And with that she shot off toward the rock formation on the other side of the large cove. Erwin just shrugged his shoulders with a laugh and followed with a leisurely backstroke with Moblit and Mike meandering behind them. No one had the same exuberance as Hanji nor did they possess the enthusiasm to keep up with her pace. She was always one step ahead; always the first one in and last one out and would sleep overnight at the dig sites if she could. For this her friends just laughed and didn't fight as she dragged them along on her crazy adventures.

"Guess we should follow them," Eren suggested, noting how close they were--so close that Levi's thigh had already brushed his twice.

"Yeah, guess so."

"Bet I could get there before you."

"You don't even know where the alcove is genius."

"Yeah but I don't need to know when I can just follow Hanji and the others."

"Fine. See you there," Levi smirked deviously as he began to paddle, picking up speed with every stroke. "Don't say I didn't warn you!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was fiddling with the tile again. Hadn't put it down since he and Levi left dinner after some casual conversation with the guests that came that evening. They had gone upstairs separately--neither knowing why they did it that way, just that they always did. They switched into their sleeping shorts and t-shirts in their own separate rooms after taking turns with the bathroom to shower. They finished annotating their field notes in their own rooms and drew the days findings in their sketchbooks before closing them for the night. 

Eren couldn't help the giddiness in his heart as he quietly padded across the balcony and entered Levi's space. Couldn't help it when his eyes wandered from the tile in he was playing with as he laid on his back on the couch--gaze drifting to where they always went whenever they spent time together when everyone else had fallen asleep or was climbing up the stairs to their room all while trying not make a mess of themselves as their drunken uncoordinated feet stumbled over one another.

Levi was different that night. He was the same but his mannerisms were a touch different--more in the extreme than usual. There were more cigarettes in his ashtray than the usual three or four. He was combing his hands through his hair much more frequently and would voice his annoyance with a groan every so often. It was hard getting through to Levi when he was like this. Anything could set him off and Eren didn't know what the outcome of that would be so he refrained from talking and remained on the couch, blissfully ignorant though not completely as he toyed with his gift.

"God damn it..." Levi muttered bitterly before he slammed his computer shut.

Eren jumped in place, eyes snapping to attention as he watched Levi grab his cigarettes and head to the veranda. Something was wrong; terribly wrong. Eren could see the memories of Levi laughing and smiling that afternoon slipping away into the nighttime haze as this gloom overtook them. It was similar to the sadness the upperclassman carried that morning as he spoke to his mother on the phone but more palpable--tangible and frightening in its potency. 

Gaze never once leaving Levi's seemingly smaller form as he hunched over the wrought iron railing with an exhale of smoke, Eren wondered if they were close enough for him to be as worried as he was or if he should mind his own business. He never was particularly talented when it came to human interaction. An introvert forced to be an extrovert, Eren didn't know how to behave or what to say because of the two warring personalities within him. Should he be quiet and give him his space? Or should he be nosy and ask him what was bothering him? What kind of person did Levi need him to be in moments like these? What kind of friend should Eren be?

"Sorry I'm being like this tonight," Levi apologized from the balcony; his voice quiet and meek despite his usual boldness. "It's been a rough day."

' _Rough day? I thought everything was fine._ ' Eren hesitated--eyes on Levi's back before he swung his legs around and sat up straight. "Does this have to do with the call you had this morning?"

Levi's shoulders tensed then relaxed. "Yeah," he shook his head. "It does."

"What happened? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but...I mean, I may not be great at listening most of the time but I'm here for you."

Levi gave a pitiful laugh--a sigh escaping him as he did. "Today's just not a good day. It's never been a good day. Not for a while it hasn't been."

"Why?"

Why was he asking so many questions? What if Levi didn't want to talk about it and pushed him away? Could Eren handle that sort of rejection? He wanted to think he could because, more than anything, in that moment he wanted to be Levi's pillar of strength; his shelter, the lighthouse in the middle of this storm he was caught in. ' _I want to be your Hephaestion_ ,' he admitted to himself at last though in silence. He would never say it aloud but Eren did wish for it; to be as precious to Levi as Hephaestion was to Alexander. But how could he amount to such a thing when the ancient leaders were undoubtedly twin souls--never to be torn apart for fear that whatever God in power would smite the offender that severed their tie. How could Eren be Levi's Hephaestion? Was it even possible?

Leaning against the rail next to Levi, he stared at the cigarette dying in the mans fingers rather than looking up because he was sure it would hurt if he did. He didn't know if it was possible for Levi to cry. Yes, Eren had overheard him that morning sniffling back what may have been tears. But he hadn't seen it firsthand and therein the thought was still as foreign to him as the sky being filled by the ocean while the heavens occupied the seas.

"I have two younger siblings named Isabel and Farlan," Levi croaked, his voice rough from the mounting anguish. "I _had_ a twin sister named Tabitha."

Eren licked his lips, bit the inside of his cheek, then swallowed back the nerves building in his throat. "What happened?"

"She died. We were thirteen when she had her first seizure. We both grew up having bad migraines but one day she collapsed and started convulsing. When the doctors at the hospital ran an MRI, they found out she had glioblastoma," looking to his left, a small smile pulled at the corners of his lips, "brain cancer. Glioblastoma is a fast growing form of brain cancer."

"I-I'm so sorry," Eren stammered. This was not what he was expecting. Nowhere close to it; miles away in fact.

"It's fine. I just don't talk about it much because it's really hard."

"Well she was your sister. I wouldn't expect it to be easy."

"She was more than that," he said with a sad dreamy smile as memories from his childhood rushed to the surface. "She was my best friend, my better half in so many ways. We were born only a few minutes apart but were completely different and still alike. I didn't have any courage or self-esteem when I was a kid. Kids bullied me because I looked like a girl and I would lash out at them when they called Tabby a dyke because she kept her hair short since she played so many sports. It's because of her that I learned to let it go. To just live my life and let people say what they want because they'll never change." Levi laughed as the first tears began to form behind his watery eyes. "So much wisdom crammed into such a short life."

He looked up to the sky, droplets now streaking down his cheeks as he imagined his twin. Would she look the same now or would she have grown out of her tomboy appearance? Levi envisioned Tabitha with silken black hair cropped at her jaw all wavy and flowey the way it had been before the chemo. She would be taller now, probably five foot nine if their mothers height was anything to go by but she would still be athletic. ‘ _She never did like being cooped up inside the house all day_ ,' he reminded himself. Eyes the same color as his but more blue with a smile brighter than all the stars in the sky, Levi could see her. Could almost smell the scent of the lilac blossoms and jasmine that clung to her from their mothers garden. She would have been more beautiful than any Greek goddess or Helen of Troy.

"A thirteen year old doesn't stand much of a chance against something as aggressive as glioblastoma you know. Even with the treatments and chemo, the thing still grew. Eventually she could only see out of her right eye because one of the surgeries cut out too much or something like that. By the time our fourteenth birthday rolled around she was bedridden. She couldn't even use the bathroom on her own. It hurt seeing her like that," he choked, hiccuping gently from the tears. The cigarette--now out--fell from his fingers as his shoulders rocked. "It's hard seeing anyone like that but she was more than just my sister. We were a part of each other and now she's gone. She was only fourteen years old for fucks sake, I just don't..." he whimpered as he slumped down and withered next to Eren, "I just don't understand. Why did it have to be her? Why did she develop a tumor and I didn't? We were twins..."

Wrapping an arm around Levi's shoulders, Eren tried to comfort him. "Was today...?"

Levi nodded in between sniffles. "The anniversary of her death? Yeah." Giving up on trying to stand alone, Levi leaned into Eren, hiding his face in his shoulder the way a frightened child would. "It was night when she died; almost nine-thirty. My mom used to say we were like fireflies in the tall grass because we lit up around each other. But that night, I watched the life leave her and no matter how much I begged she never came back."

Turning to face him fully, Eren collected Levi into his arms--wrapping one around his waist and the other across his shoulders. He said nothing because there was nothing that could make this any easier; that could dull the pain and ease his suffering. So Eren just let Levi cry. Hid his face from the world so no one else would know of this. Only he could know this side of the infallible Levi Ackerman, the man with no weaknesses or flaws. Only Eren had been allowed to see this brokenness. If there were others they would have been there. They would have already known about his anguish and would have taken measures to comfort him. But there wasn't anyone else. Just him and Levi standing in the pale moonlight with a warm onshore breeze blowing through the trees.

Holding him even tighter when Levi's fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt, Eren swayed too and fro from side to side gently as he rubbed his back. It was the same thing his mother had done for him when Eren's grandfather died when he was ten and had just learned what death meant. She had stayed with him all night, lovingly rocking him to sleep with one hand rubbing his back and the other stroking his hair. Eren now felt that same protectiveness for Levi as he held him close, noting the smell of ocean spray and citrus.

Without thinking or knowing what his body was doing, Eren tilted his head and kissed Levi's temple. Eyes widening as he realized what he had just done, he tried to pull away--stammering an apology as he moved. But midway through his fumbling, Levi drew him in closer. Nuzzling into Eren's chest, he trembled like some helpless faun. Who was this man in his arms? Eren did not know. Couldn't have imagined this had he been given the chance. It were like some fever dream conjured into existence.

"It's fine," Levi said, his broken voice barely above a whisper. "Just don't leave. Please?" His grip tightened. "Stay?"

For the first time that night, Eren relaxed completely and returned his arms to where they had been--protectively bound around Levi. "I'll stay."


	5. Vesuvius (Pt.I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oh, to see without my eyes_  
>  _The first time that you kissed me_  
>  _Boundless by the time I cried_  
>  _I built your walls around me_  
>  _White noise, what an awful sound_  
>  _Fumbling by Rogue River_  
>  _Feel my feet above the ground_  
>  _Hand of God, deliver me_  
>     
> -Sufjan Stevens, _Mystery of Love_

....................... _one evening in late July_..........................

Eren could not be more thankful that it was Thursday. Not because it was a day closer to the weekend which meant sleeping in on Saturday and going to the beach with Connie and Sasha on Sunday. All of that was secondary; a blip in the current turbulence of his troubled mind. No, he was grateful that it was Thursday because that week they had finished their dig early which meant their weekend could start early. He was grateful because, for the next twelve hours, he needed to be away from Levi. There was no fault to find with the upperclassman. He had done nothing wrong. However, if Eren didn't separate himself from the man he knew he would jump him that night if they spent it the way they had been for the past month. Knew that once his composure snapped it'd be nigh impossible to reign himself back in.

Like a nightmare drenched in sweat and lust, Eren's fantasies had only increased as the distance between he and Levi closed. For every evening they spent talking and laughing amongst themselves the dreams that followed were a delirious flurry of slicked limbs, mouths clashing, tongues searching, and teeth tugging tauntingly at lips. This maddening delirium in which he and Levi existed connected by flesh with the upperclassman riding him--head tilted back and chest flushed--never left him; lingered in the back of his mind like a curse or axe waiting to slice his neck and pour out his secrets.

Since July Fourth, they had grown closer, much closer than he could have ever hoped or imagined. Stitched and woven together by life's needle and thread, they could tell what the other was thinking without having to speak. Could read it in the others eyes. They understood one another and knew their hopes, dreams, fears, and weaknesses. Separately, they were just Levi and Eren. But together, they were better than good. They were invincible. Or at least Eren thought so. 

There wasn't anything he couldn't do without the man standing next to him. But these dreams--these unwanted delusions of something that could never happen--felt like a betrayal to the person who had given him so much. Not only had Levi taken Eren under his wing and guided him during his first few months until he could stand on his own but he had also given him his time and friendship. He had opened up a part of himself so scarred and secret that not even Hanji and Erwin were allowed to know it existed. Levi had distinguished Eren as someone important--cared enough to recognize him and set him apart from the rest. And how had he repaid him?

"I'm fucking sick," Eren muttered to himself as he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror at Treno Relitto; the windows rattling faintly from the depth of the bass outside.

He hated himself but couldn't deny what was there; couldn't lie to himself that somehow this was different. It wasn't because Levi was a man. That wasn't what set this apart from the other times he had fallen for someone. Rather, it was the intensity of the emotion. He had never wanted another person so badly. Had never hung on their every word--hoping they'd keep talking just so he could hear their voice. He had never dreamt of someone's laughter or their smile. Had never experienced the scent of another following him into his dreams like incense from the oracles temple that would float upwards toward the gods. Eren had never dreamt of falling asleep facing a lover while holding their hand only to wake up dejected when he found himself alone and their hand away from his.

It wasn't just lust that Eren felt toward Levi. Yes, he wanted him with every fiber in his being but this yearning was for more than just his body. He wanted Levi's heart, his smile, his affection, his bad days and his good days. He wanted to hear his voice first thing in the morning and fall asleep to his eyes of pure starlight. He wanted to lay on the warm sands with Levi's head resting on his thighs as they read age worn books together--his fingers playing with that black silken hair atop the man's head while his partner hummed his appreciation. Eren didn't want an easy fling or sex with no strings attached. He'd had plenty of that and had no trouble finding willing partners. Rather, what he desired was something more fulfilling. A quiet peaceful joy that came with being with someone who knew you so completely and asked for nothing but acceptance and love in return.

But Eren could never have Levi; not really, he couldn't. In six and a half months he'd be on a plane back to California and he'd be left feeling far more broken than he ever had before. There was a timer on their friendship--an expiration date that was swiftly approaching despite how greatly Eren wished to fight it. As inseparable they may be at the moment he knew he could never be a permanent fixture in Levi's life and that thought alone was enough to sow seeds of bitterness, grief, and sorrow. He would never be Levi's one and the pain of realizing this had settled in the pit of his throat, choking the air from his lungs as he gathered his thoughts, combed a hand through his hair, and told himself to stop being such a pathetic brat.

Eyes unyielding as he stared himself down, Eren breathed out. "Get yourself together Jaeger."

He could not spend the night in the bathroom feeling sorry for himself. That could be done at home when everyone else had gone to sleep. Right now he needed to pull himself out of this self-destructive spiral and force himself to think clearly regardless of how much alcohol was coursing through his veins. ' _I probably shouldn't have had that last shot,_ ' he scolded himself as he took a mental tally of how many drinks he had downed that night. He had only been there for a few hours and Marzia was likely waiting for him at the bar where he had left her ten minutes ago. Or maybe she wasn't. He couldn't blame her if she had already left. Eren had not been the best companion that evening nor had he been keeping close contact with her for the past few weeks.

' _She'll probably drop me any day now since she's stopped calling and only texts once in a while._ '

It was bittersweet in a way since, while he was indeed looking for a way out of this dysfunctional tryst he had gotten himself into with her, he had never imagined it happening for the reasons it was. Had never thought that he'd want a girl to leave him so that he could be more available for another man. It was probably because he had taken advantage of Marzia's affection that he was now suffering with the knowledge that he could never be anything to Levi and that whatever they did have was finite. ' _Why did it have to be him?_ ' was his last thought before he left the bathroom.

Wincing as he rejoined the crowd that was swaying, jumping, and grinding to "John Wayne" by Lady Gaga. Thursday's were usually reserved for rap, R&B, hip-hop, and soul. However, the mother fame monster had just announced the dates for her European comeback tour and Italy happened to be second on her list of locals. So, to get the youth into the mood and hype her arrival, clubs big and small were blasting her music from sundown to the wee hours of the morning when the police came to enforce the local laws on noise ordinances.

As he had expected, Marzi was waiting for him at the bar and had his mind not been occupied by someone else he'd feel a swell of pride knowing that she was there with him. Tall, slim with killer curves, and eyes the most enticing shade of honey brown with skin that smelled of warm sugar, she was a dream in human skin. Beautiful in both body and mind with a keen intellect, he should have been over the moon to see her waiting for him. Should have smiled a genuine smile when she lit up at the sight of him and approached him, took his hand in hers, and kissed him while running a hand tenderly through his hair. But he couldn't make the smile reach his eyes. Couldn't forget the way Levi's fingers felt in his hair last night when he sweetly called to him to wake up and sleep in his own bed instead of on the couch. Couldn't banish the memory of his cedar and citrus body wash.

Even the taste of liquor rolling off of her tongue onto his as they kissed seemed wrong; felt more bitter than usual. What would it taste like if he were kissing Levi? Would it be the same? Would he taste the smoke from his cigarettes or would it be washed over by the familiar sugar-salt zing from the lime the upperclassman normally chased his shots of tequila with? Marzia pulled away looking faintly cross as if she could read his mind. Maybe she could. Eren was an open book at this point it seemed because Hanji had deduced his affections a few days ago and he had sworn her to secrecy. He couldn't afford for anyone to know. Especially Levi. That would spell the end of them and he would rather suffer in silence than be cast out from the mans inner circle.

"You're different tonight," she noted as they leaned against the bar waiting to be served. "Are you alright?"

"I'm just tired," he lied and she knew it was a lie. He could see the look in her eyes. The one that told him he'd been caught. "Levi's been working us hard in the pits."

"Ah, I see. Him again." She glanced to the side and flashed a smirk that was caught between sympathy and pity. "How is he by the way?"

It was odd. She usually didn't ask about Levi when they were together. "He's fine. Overworked as always but he does it to himself." Eren bit his lip with a sad smile. "I try to help as much as I can but I doubt it makes much of a difference in the grander scheme of things. I'm probably just bugging him at this point and he's too nice to tell me to piss off."

"I don't think so. He seems like a sweet guy when you discount his bad habits and need to be in control."

"That was unexpected of you," he chuckled disbelievingly. Marzia never said much about Levi either.

"Well I gotta do something or I'll lose."

"Lose?"

Marzia just shook her head while sighing out a laugh. "You're so clueless, it's almost embarrassing. Both of you are."

"I don't get wh--"

"This is me letting go Eren. I can't compete when you aren't even interested anymore." Pivoting so that she was facing him, Marzia reached up and held his face in her hands, kissed him, and smiled. "It sucks because I really did want to be your girl. You know I should hate you but funnily enough I can't bring myself to."

The pieces fell into place for Eren as she spoke and, with his hands placed over hers, he brought them down but didn't let go. "I'm sorry for being a piece of shit. You deserve so much more, someone better than me."

"I know."

They both laughed as she sniffled back tears.

"You're a good guy Eren," she smiled softly. "Just remember to hang on when you meet that person that makes you feel worthwhile. We only get one, you know."

"I know." For the first time that evening, he actually smiled and meant it. Reaching for one another, they hugged each other tightly. "Thank you Marzia. I'd understand if you'd never want to talk to me again but I hope that maybe we could stay friends."

She snorted a laugh. "Like I'd miss out on watching your Greek tragedy unfold," she joked. "Don't worry, you'll see me around." Pulling away as her phone vibrated in her back pocket, Marzia glanced at the screen then Eren. "It's my sister. Sorry but I got to take this. I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"

Eren just nodded and let her go. There was a strangeness falling over him as the rapid succession of events settled in his mind. He had just been dumped by one of the best women he had ever had the privilege of being with yet he couldn't find it in him to be upset. Where there should be remorse and regret there was instead relief and thankfulness. If they had gone on the way that they were, both of them would have wound up bitter and hurt. He couldn't give himself to her anymore; not his mind or his body. It didn't feel right and she was kind enough to recognize this discomfort and cut him loose while retaining their original friendship. Marzia was one hell of a woman, that he knew. Didn't need to be told twice because she had put her all into making this work and, at the end, was the one to fold first and do so graciously.

"You look like you've seen better nights," came a familiar voice. Slipping into the spot at the bar next to Eren was Levi wearing his usual white tee, black jeans, and flannel around his hips. But tonight, the usual was more lethal than it was every other night. "How much did you drink?"

"Too much," Eren admitted, voice rough as he averted his gaze. He couldn't see him right now. Not tonight. It was the only thing he had asked for; some distance so that he didn't completely fuck things up between them. "I thought you were working on your thesis tonight."

"I couldn't concentrate." It was so casual. So warm and familiar as if Eren already knew the reason he was there. "Guess I've gotten used to having you around and can't focus when you're gone."

"So it's my fault?"

"Maybe," Levi said, gaze dreamy as he stared ahead at the wall of liquor bottles behind the back counter. Turning to look at Eren, he added, "What would you do if I said it was?"

Eren knew that look. It was the one Levi often wore in the beginning when the upperclassman would silently challenge him to open his loud mouth and talk back. But rather than a threat hiding in the shadows on the other side of his cool mercurial gaze, there was something else. Something indecipherable--electric and terrifying at the same time because of its unknown promise. There was no doubt that he was daring him; waiting, maybe hoping, to see if Eren had the stones to call his bluff. Could he? Would he act on the thoughts racing through his head that Eren knew Levi could see.

Lungs catching when he caught himself drifting closer--their breath mingling so closely, it were as if one being had exhaled it--Eren snapped out of the reverie he had fallen into; tore himself free of the spell of Levi's eyes, lips, and voice. More frightened now than he had ever been in his twenty-three years of existence, he stumbled backwards, eyes wide and feet unsteady. He had almost kissed him. Had almost lost his mind completely and leaned in to kiss those lips he'd been craving like a junkie hankering for a fix. What was he thinking?! That was the problem, he wasn't thinking at all. And why did Levi look so disappointed?

Emotions heightened by the alcohol and sense of self-preservation in full swing, he ran--fled as quickly as the crowd around them would allow. The world was a mash up of shifting bodies, music, and colors swirling about him like a Van Gogh masterpiece with the golden light of street lamps outside the club smearing across the velvet blue sky with pops of orange and red mixed in. Fumbling in the narrow alleyway, he heaved in air as tears stung the corners of his eyes as he fought to keep himself together. Slumping against the weather faded cracked fresco wall of the decades old apartment building, he ran both hands through his hair, did it again, then stared at the sky with a long heavy sigh.

"Eren...?"

He turned when he heard Levi cautiously calling to him from the corner of the alley. Why was he following him? He should have been repulsed by what almost happened. Should have just let him run away. It would have been better for both of them that way. They could continue on as they have been if Levi turned around and left him alone. But he didn't. He was too kind--too considerate to leave a friend drunk and discombobulated in a dimly lit alleyway where he could possibly be mugged.

"Look, I don't know what's going on but you look like shit right now and it's really worrying me."

"I'm fine," Eren groaned.

"You are anything but fine, brat. You can't even stand up right now."

"Just go away, I'll be fine."

"No, I'm not going."

"Why?!" Eren snapped, suddenly annoyed even though he had no right to be indignant. "Why the fuck do you care so much? What's it to you?! I'm just another kid on the team. Just a fucking nothing that doesn't matter in the long run, right?"

"I don't know where the fuck you got that shit from but I'm not even going to dignify that load of crap with an answer. Now get up," he commanded, the gentleness in his voice gone and replaced by 'Pit Boss Levi' rather than the friend he had been moments before. Taking Eren's arm and draping it over his shoulders, he silenced the kid with a single glare. "We're going home. You've had too much to drink and you'll be a bitch to take care of tomorrow."

"I never asked you to take care of me."

"No, you didn't but that doesn't mean I'm not going to. Now stop being a punk and let me help you for fucks sake."

Eren wanted to protest; to continue fighting until Levi left him so that he could walk home alone while wallowing in his self-pity. But the man was more stubborn than he was--would have taken the award if there were one for being so obstinate. Although, despite himself and his frustration, Eren could not smother the butterflies in his stomach or the small pang of joy that came with knowing he was important enough to Levi to inspire this kind of concern in him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

The taxi ride home was quiet. Not uncomfortably so but there was something else to the way they leaned against one another with Levi reclining his head back against the headrest--both his eyes shut and his breathing level. There was some strange magic being spun by the music playing in the background; a late-night love song on the radio with dreamy acoustics and a soft-spoken singer charming her listeners. Something in the way the warmth from Levi's exposed skin heated Eren's just enough to leave it tingling as they got out of the cab and paid the driver.

Stumbling with as few groans and protests as he could manage, Eren hauled his sorry self up the stairs after an ungraceful entry through the back garden. Petra and Oluo were likely already asleep--it was half past one in the morning at that point. There were a few lights on; one in Annie's room which made sense because she called her brother Reiner every other day and Skyped with her boyfriend Bertholt every night if she had the time. She never let on but she was just as lovesick and homesick as the next person making her just a bit more human. In the room below hers and two doors down, Hitch and Marlo were chatting quietly in the lambent glow from the candlelight about their thesis's. Eren could hear them as they passed in the hall but refrained from greeting them even if his drunken mind was telling him it was impolite not to say hello.

Groaning in between whimpers and sniffles as he slumped against the cold porcelain of the toilet, Eren could not have been more mortified than he was in that moment. All the days events--all the humiliating incidents that led them to where they were now came crashing down on him. It wasn't enough that he had fought with Levi that afternoon in the pits or lashed out at him when the man had done nothing wrong but had nearly repeated the scene when they were leaving the club. This feeling of remorse and self-loathing had begun to turn even more sour, morphing into a bitterness that took hold of him with frightening strength.

Mind turning traitor on him, the first tears broke free from his reddened emerald eyes sapping from them all the joy and spring-like carefreeness they possessed. He was losing it; losing himself and his fortitude to keep up with this lie. It was pathetic how much sway Levi had on him but in that moment he couldn't find the strength or will to care. Instead he just fell further into his lonesomeness. They were so close yet this secret was what was driving them apart. However, if he told Levi how he felt--how he longed to just touch him, hold his face in his hands, and kiss him--they'd not only be separated but Levi would never want to speak to him again. He was kind, there was no doubt about that. But there was only so far someone's kindness could be stretched before they reached their breaking point.

Would this be theirs? Either Eren continued lying--something that in itself was a breach of their trust--or he came clean and told Levi his secret. It didn't matter which way he turned because Eren was bound to lose. He was going to even if he continued with this charade because, in six months, the Golden Three would be on a plane heading back to San Francisco and their friendship would end. Laying on the cool tiled floor of the bathroom, a sob raked through Eren as the scene played through his mind like a silent film with he and Levi in the lead roles. He'd undoubtedly hide his tears; Eren would rather die than let Levi know how much it was going to hurt when they said goodbye. They'd likely shake hands or awkwardly hug one another, exchange a few words, and that would be it. Just like that, he'd disappear from the mans world just as unceremoniously as he had entered it and, in a few years time, he'd be completely forgotten.

"Why are you crying on the floor?" Levi asked from where he stood in the doorway--his frame outlined by the lambent light of the candles he had lit in his room.

Eren rolled his head to the side--tears streaking his hot skin--and he swore he could hear his heart breaking. Why was this happening? Why did it have to be someone he could never have? Someone who would never want him back. Why did it have to be Levi, the most unobtainable person he had met in all the seemingly long years of his short life. The very image of imperfect perfection, why did it have to be him? Why couldn't Eren just fall for Marzia, someone who wanted him and had been willing to try to make things work. She had even told him a week ago that she didn't mind doing a long distance relationship. So why couldn't he squash this feeling? It was likely because it had rooted itself so deeply in his heart that it was impossible to tear the limbs free. And even if he managed to dispel this adoration it would only be temporary. Eren knew himself well enough to know that. Knew that he'd never be free of those eyes that looked so much like the stars.

Turning away because it hurt too much to look at him anymore, Eren didn't answer. The words wouldn't form; didn't sound right as they pushed past the lump in his throat that felt so unbearably tight. He wanted to scream. To cry and tell him everything. He wanted to hide his face, to run away and act like his heart wasn't racing. This was so much more than just a crush. More than just liking someone for their outwards beauty because what he felt was so much deeper and heavier that it could have dragged him to the bottom of the abyssal plains at the heart of the ocean. Eren was scared. So scared that he could not have moved even if he had wanted to. So he just laid their quietly crying as Levi watched him with an indecipherable gaze.

No words were exchanged as Levi approached him--a softness overtaking his features as he bent over, pulled Eren to his feet, and guided him into his moonlit bedroom across the way. Peeling his jacket off followed by his shoes, Eren trembled discretely as the Levi's fingers skimmed over his skin and trailed back up his arms. ' _Please stop or I won't be able to. I won't be able to keep these words to myself and then you really will hate me. You'll be so disgusted and you'll never look at me like this again so please Levi, I'm begging you..._ '

"Stop," Eren choked out the word, head turned away from Levi with his eyes on the floor. "I'm fine."

"Fine is a dirty four letter word that starts with an 'F'," Levi said matter-of-factly.

"Please...?"

"Eren, you've been acting strange for a couple days and today you fought with me over something that had nothing to do with you. What's going on? You're not yourself and it's worrying me."

"I haven't been sleeping right--"

"Liar."

"Levi..."

"Don't," Levi cut him off, tone sharp as if the lie had wounded him. "You keep acting as if I'm blind and stupid. I know something's wrong. I can see it written all over you. What I don't get is why you won't tell me."

"It's not like you tell me everything that's going on in your life," Eren fought back. He knew he had no grounds to be upset but he just wanted to be left alone. He was trying to save what they had but Levi kept pushing for answers so it was only natural that he would defend himself. But when he saw the expression on the mans face he knew he had done wrong. "Levi, I--"

"It's fine." There it was, that dirty word that started with an F. Hearing it now, Eren understood what it felt like being on the receiving end of such a blatant lie. "I'm sorry I was being a pest. I didn't mean to pry, I was just worried. But I get it. You want me to leave you alone."

Eren couldn't react fast enough as Levi got up--his hand leaving Eren's where it had mindlessly crept to without either of them noticing. His voice was stunted; frozen in his throat just as his body had gone rigid as the upperclassman began to leave. He had to do something. Anything. Yet doing nothing and letting him leave like this would be just as bad as telling him. There was no way for him to win because either way Levi was bound to be disappointed in him. 

It was as this war waged in his head that his body moved out of instinct. Lunging forward, he fell from the bed just as he grabbed the tails of the flannel tied around Levi's hips. Tears silently rolling down his cheeks, he shook--trembled like a leaf in the unforgiving winter wind that was terrified to let go of its mother tree. He was being selfish; a brat that couldn't handle the thought of losing their favorite toy. But Levi wasn't a toy. He was special. He was irreplaceable and he'd rather tell him the truth now and have it all out in the open than lose him because of a lie.

"P-Please...don't leave. Don't hate me."

Levi hung in silence before he turned around with a sigh and collected Eren into his arms, not once minding his weeping. Instead he picked the kid up and deposited him on his bed--remaining between his legs as he squatted in front of him with their hands woven together. Working soothing circles into the smooth bronze skin atop Eren's hands, Levi waited for the tension to ease and the sobs to soften. They couldn't speak when the brat was a mess like that. Couldn't get what they were thinking across to one another when both of them were so tightly wound up that words alone could have them unravelling as if their hearts were sweaters being undone by a single stray thread. He didn't know what was going to happen to them after that night but Levi hoped, by some miracle, they'd come out of this stronger than they were entering it.

When Eren opened his eyes after a handful of long stabilizing breaths, he opened his eyes and was met by a sea of starlight that was all aglow with silver and pale heavenly blue. ' _You're so beautiful Levi Ackerman, it hurts looking at you,_ ' he admitted to himself as both trembling hands timidly reached up to hold his countenance in his cold palms. ' _What pantheon did you fall from that led to you being here?_ ' His heart leapt and tumbled over itself when Levi closed his eyes and gently nuzzled into the warmth of Eren's hands; his head slightly tilting to the side like a cat being scratched behind the ear. Now was his chance, his only chance, to tell Levi what had been weighing down his heart. If not now, then when? This was it. No more excuses. No more hiding.

"I l-like you...Levi," Eren spoke, his words barely audible but carrying nothing but truth in them. "More than just a f-friend."

"You do?" Levi asked. There wasn't any judgement. No hate or disgust in his tone. Just curiosity.

Eren nodded, a sniffle escaping him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because you're straight and I'm fucking this up. I didn't want to t-tell you because I don't...I don't want you to h-hate me and stop talking to me. Fuck, I'm screwing everything up."

"No you're not brat," Levi chuckled softly. The sound alone was enough to cut the tension in half even if was only for a moment or two. Eyes opening, he looked to Eren as his own hands came to rest atop Eren's. "Telling me what's on your mind isn't 'screwing everything up' especially when I ask you to tell me."

"Yeah but..."

"Eren..."

"Yes?"

Levi smiled as he tilted his head and closed the distance between them. "Shut up for a moment, 'kay."

Without another word of protest, the space separating them was closed and their lips met for a soft gentle kiss. Eren didn't know if it was instinct or greed that had him reacting so quickly but he didn't pay it a second thought as he shyly opened his mouth in invitation and let his hands glide up to tangle in Levi's silken hair. There was no way to properly describe the relief and elation as Levi's tongue rolled over his or when he moved to press Eren into the mattress with him on top. The weight of his body, the heat from his skin, and the smell of cedar and citrus wafting off of him--it was all too much. So perfect and wonderful and beautiful that it brought tears back to Eren's eyes. He had been so afraid; petrified with the fear of losing someone who had become so dear to him that he had forgotten what it felt like to breathe easily. But now there was no fear. No sadness or remorse. No regret of the lies he'd have to tell to keep up this facade. Now there was just light. Now there was just them, Levi and Eren.

"Mine," Eren murmured between kisses without knowing he was babbling. "My Alexander."

"Alexander?" Levi asked, pulling away enough to see the blush of Eren's cheeks and his kiss-swollen lips. "Is that an inside joke I don't know about?"

Too embarrassed to speak, he shook his head. "I-It's nothing. I was just--"

"You're lying again."

Eren was silent; too mortified to speak and definitely too self-conscious to tell him what he meant when he called Levi "Alexander." But he didn't need to say it. Didn't need to snitch himself out because Levi had already peeled back the layers. Could see past the smoke screen and the embarrassment because he had learned in the beginning all of Eren's tells. He knew what to look for. What the twitch in the corner of his lip meant verses the shifting of his eyes from side to side. He knew what Eren was thinking when he bit the inside of his cheek and what it meant when the kid scratched the inner curve of his left thumb with his index finger. Thirty percent of the communication between them was non-verbal because they had grown so accustom to one another that words were just futile sometimes. Sometimes all it took was a look and they knew.

"I doubt Alexander's Hephaestion ever lied to him," Levi teased before placing a feather light kiss to his ear. He had connected the dots much quicker than Eren would have liked but he didn't see him protesting anymore. "I'm not here to judge you Eren so you don't need to be so embarrassed."

Fingers tightening in Levi's shirt and hair as he held him closer, Eren swallowed hard on his anxiety. "You promise?"

"I promise." Another kiss to his temple. "My Hephaestion."

That was all it took to both break and rebuild him. Those two words. That was all Eren needed to hear to know he was wanted. That he wasn't just a fleeting nobody. That he wasn't just another face in a sea of many that would fade with time. Eren knew now that he was special. That Levi regarded him with the same fondness and reverence as he did him. His Hephaestion. His confidant, his partner-in-crime and right hand. That was all he had wanted. It was all he _would_ ever want, to be at Levi's side the way Hephaestion stood by Alexander's--tall, proud, and equal.

Hugging him with a smile brighter than the full moon, Eren exhaled a shuttering sigh of relief. He had never felt so thankful. Had never felt so wanted or happy to have his affection returned. It did not matter to him that the person embracing him was a man nor did it bother him what it would mean later or how the others may look at them when they found out. It didn't matter what his parents would think if they ever found out, how his brother would lovingly tease him, or what Jean would say since Eren he had poked fun at him once or twice when he started dating Marco years ago after he had broken up with Mikasa. None of it fazed him. Nothing could reach him in this wonderful perfect moment in which time stopped, the heavens ceased in their movement, and all manner of life was put on hold to observe this miracle.

"We should turn in soon or you'll have a monster hangover in the morning."

"I'm going to have a monster hangover regardless of when I go to sleep," Eren laughed, his tears finally beginning to dry as he combed his hand through Levi's hair. “Levi...?”

"Yeah?"

Eren bit his lip before burying his face in the crown of Levi's hair. "Could you sleep in here tonight?"

"In your bed?"

Eren nodded.

Levi smiled. "I can do that. You better not throw up on me though."

"Asshole."

"Yeah, I kinda am," he chuckled then sighed softly. "Fuck I'm tired."

"Same." Eren pressed his lips together into a tight line as the heat rose in his cheeks. Why was he so embarrassed? "Guess we should turn in."

"Mhmm." Levi didn't move for a long moment. When he did though, he snorted a short laugh, smoothed the hair back from Eren's forehead and kissed him between his eyes. "Remember what I told you about becoming a tree? Stop getting so wrapped up in your head. It's bad for your health. Come on, let's wash up."

Waiting until Levi had closed the bathroom door behind him so that he could change, Eren slipped out of his jeans and shirt that smelled vaguely of cigarettes and alcohol and slid into a fresh pair of boxers and his favorite Talking Heads shirt. It was worn and had small holes in the neck and shoulder but he loved the thing. It was like a security blanket--warm and familiar, wrapping around him like the arms of a parent. Stretching with a long yawn, his only stumbled a couple of times on his way to the bathroom. He wondered if it was the liquor that had him tripping over his toes or the lofty happiness that had him feeling lighter than air. Perhaps it was both but Eren was too tired and too giddy to care. The smile never once left his face nor did the blush as he brushed his teeth beside Levi, washed his face next to him, and watched as Levi removed his contacts before taking an Advil to help with the pain he had been experiencing in his lower back.

Watching as Levi slid into _his_ bed--his body warming up _his_ blankets and _his_ sheets, Eren could not stop his heart as it fluttered. The sight alone satisfied so many fantasies he thought would remain fever dreams stored in the deepest recesses of his mind. To see the man laying there waiting for him to join him was like a prayer being answered; it was a prayer that had been answered. Shyly, Eren eased into bed, hiding himself almost entirely in the fluffy duvet and fresh cotton sheets. Despite how timid he felt his eyes did not once leave Levi's. They watched each other with a different kind of curiosity; their gazes more open and brazen while viewing the object of their affection. Eren had once wondered what it would be like to have Levi look at him the same way he looked at the statues he unearthed. Now that he knew--now that he could feel the intensity of his starry eyes on his warm skin--Eren could never go back. He would crave this mans attention for as long as he drew breath.

Reaching across the bed because he knew Eren was too shy to make the first move, Levi took the kids hand in his with a dreamy smile. "Night Eren."

"Night Levi."

Expression growing fonder when he saw the look change on Eren's face, Levi moved closer so that he could kiss him. "Don't worry. I'll be here in the morning."

"Who said I was worried."

They laughed with Eren flinching as Levi poked at his sides.

"Night brat."

"Night Alexander."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyo! Okay, so I'd like to apologize for the chapter being so short. But in my defense, it's been a crazy semester and, hey, quality over quantity am I right? No? Oh well, I tried. Anyway, for those who are curious, this is the song that was playing on the radio when Eren and Levi left Treno Relitto. It's one of my favorites from Mojave3 and I hope ya'll enjoy listening to it as much as I do. <3
> 
> "Love Songs On The Radio" by Mojave3
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br46D-yRoRY


	6. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Lord, I no longer believe_   
>  _Drowned in living waters_   
>  _Cursed by the love that I received_   
>  _From my brother's daughter_   
>  _Like Hephaestion, who died_   
>  _Alexander's lover_   
>  _Now my riverbed has dried_   
>  _Shall I find no other?_
> 
> _Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me_  
>  _I'm running like a plover_  
>  _Now I'm prone to misery_  
>  _The birthmark on your shoulder reminds me_
> 
> -Sufjan Stevens, _Mystery Of Love_

The cries of the gulls and the distant roar of waves tumbling onto the shore resonated through the still silence inhabiting the bedroom--the sounds drifting from their points of origin up the coast, through the open French doors, and circling in the vast open space like a phantom occupying the shadowed corners of a sunlit corridor. Apart from the gentle intrusion the chatter the late morning imparted upon them along with the sputtering of the newsboy's bike as it crept along the backstreets of the hilly neighborhood neither Levi nor Eren were stirred from their restful sleep. No sound from the outside world or brisk shuffle of feet hurrying down the stairs could breach the safe warm hearth of the blankets that had become tangled around them both.

Curled into a ball that had been lovingly tucked up against Levi's chest with his unruly chestnut brown hair peeking out from the duvet, Eren clung to his companion with the same fondness as a lover and all the tenderness of a child. At some point, his ear had found a home above the mans heart where it stayed all night listening adoringly to his pulse. Even in his sleep, his unconscious mind knew to whom the sound belonged and loved it even more. His dreams had been nothing but Levi, Levi, Levi--his smile, his sweet laughter, and now the taste of his lips and how softly they graced his cheek before they fell asleep the evening before. And as Eren woke, his thoughts persisted and remained centered around the man that was holding onto him just as firmly as he was grasping his companion.

Eren's first instinct was to immediately doubt what his eyes saw. He had drank quite a bit the night before so perhaps he was still drunk and seeing things. It would not have been the first time his vision had tricked him. Eren had once mistaken his backpack for his ex and had taken it to bed with him only to wake up the following morning with a pencil and protractor jabbing at his face. Who was to say this would be any different? Cautiously as if not to scare away a timid cat, Eren reached up--fingertips barely skimming the smooth alabaster skin of Levi's cheek. A muted gasp escaped him as the man reacted beneath his touch; brows lightly pinching as a groan worked its way past his lips. ' _He's real_ ,' Eren thought to himself disbelievingly.

Eyes met with a sudden pooling of starlight as Levi was stirred awake from his dreams, the air caught in Eren's lungs and hung awkwardly in the back of his throat like words waiting to be side with nothing to convey them properly. He didn't need longer than a moment before his brain began to catalogue each and every detail of the mans countenance. The slight gap in Levi's right brow and the small beauty mark above the tail of it. The curve of his lips and the slope of his petite nose. That smooth flawless skin the color of snow at dawn. That smile that stretched lazily from one cheek to the other conjuring up the twin dimples Eren adored so much he wished the man would laugh and smile for eternity just so he could see the adorable features. Eren could see the discrete half-healed holes in the cartilage of Levi's ears as well as the mended cut in the lobe of his right ear--a ghost from the car accident he was in when he was fifteen.

"Beautiful..." Eren whispered. He didn't even know he had began tracing the line of Levi's jaw. His body just moved instinctively on it's own. It was only the gentle roll of Levi's laughter that brought him back. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Levi ignored the apology as he instead nudged his cheek deeper into the curve of Eren's warm hand. "You think I'm pretty?" His eyes fluttered shut while his smile softened; his content so visible he might have purred.

Eren swallowed hard. "Yes," he voice was only just above a whisper carrying with it all the awkwardness of teenager.

"You're pretty too. Way more beautiful than me."

"No I'm not."

A single eye opened with its brow arched inquisitively as Levi regarded the young man. "Maybe Petra should buy a new mirror for the bathroom."

"I'm serious Levi."

"So am I."

Eren blushed. He was never good with this sort of thing. He could sass--be a sarcastic punk until the sun came up because it was easy. There was nothing to break if he didn't put himself out there and kept a cocky demeanor. Kissing, having sex, talking about meaningless nothings was fine--simple and clean with no potential for emotional harm. But laying in bed with a partner that knew more about him than some of his closest friends did and being open and honest with that person in an intimate environment? That was hard. Connecting genuinely was difficult because Eren hated feeling vulnerable. Hated the sense of helplessness and fragility that came with opening oneself up to another. It was like handing his heart over with a hammer and trusting the other not to smash it into thousands of tiny pieces.

"You always clam up when I compliment you," Levi rasped, his voice still thick with sleep. "I wonder if you'll ever be able to let someone talk nicely about you without a rebuttal."

"I can't promise you anything. I've been told my stubborness is worse than my fathers."

"I've always liked a good challenge." They both laughed. It was true, Levi never had backed down from Eren's challenging gaze. They were even in all ways despite Eren's inability to see it. "You know it's not just you," Levi spoke, his voice lower now as the backs of his knuckles lovingly stroked the curve of Eren's jaw. "This is all new to me too."

"Which part?" Eren snarked though there was no malice.

"The caring part." Levi licked his lips then flattened them. "The part where someone gives a damn."

"I'm sorry."

"It's nothing you have to apologize for. I'm just..." Another long pause, the mounting anxiety visible in his starry gaze. "I'm not really good at getting people to stay. People have always been more interested in fucking than talking. Probably because I'm only mildly interesting."

Eren could have told him to shut the fuck up. Could have argued otherwise until the cows came home and the sun rose because Levi was so much more than just "mildly interesting." He was brilliant--the brightest of his bunch in Eren's humble opinion. He knew all there was to know and more about the ancient Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, and Mesopotamians. He had written a "practice thesis" on the Babylonians because he was so terribly bored over winter recess and would rather stay in doing research he enjoyed than braving the cold damp weather that plagued Northern California that year. Precocious from the start, Levi had a wealth of hobbies--both average and peculier all coming together in a concoction that was anything but mundane.

And if his intelligence wasn't enough to make others stay his beauty and charm should have been. Like a god sculpted from the finest marble with no blemish marring his milky skin, he was a misty vision fallen from some pantheon occupied by those with an allure so devastating they were to remained cloaked in mystery for eternity. Eyes like the stars all aglow with vigor and a voice like summer rain, Levi was a dream realised--something Eren could never have dreamt into existence. Made perfect by his imperfections. That was his Alexander. His Levi.

Taking Levi's face into his hands, Eren felt his heart beat out of his chest. Could have sworn it had escaped from beneath his ribs and had leapt into Levi's where it would barge past any obstacle until it was nestled next to his. That powerful unwavering gaze that brought with it understanding, affection, and devotion. Those lips that silently opened to speak words that never came. The lashes that dusted his cheeks like angel wings brushing the banisters of a church as they listened to the prayers drifting up from below. How greatly Eren adored every detail--every undiscovered delight that lay hidden. His affection was so sudden and overwhelming that he too found himself at a loss for words. He had spent months pining over Levi that to have him in his bed professing his fondness for him that extended beyond friendship was unreal.

Rather than speaking because his words could so easily betray him and fail in conveying what he felt Eren instead bridged the gap between them; brought their lips together for an embrace that was transcendent. The world fell away, the heavens poured into the sea setting it alight with the moonlight and stars. Time stilled, sound washed from the room, and the space was transformed with pops of color as their mouths opened and tongues tentatively explored what had once been forbidden. Eren felt fire swallow his heart and set him ablaze as their curious hands wandered over the open expanses of each others body. Moans were shared as they were breathed into existence and their melted forms pressed more tightly together as if they were to be parted at daybreak like lovers torn by war.

Their legs brushed and thighs became tangled as they inched closer. Eren's mind was clouded with the most pleasant haze--a rose-colored fever dream where everything was Levi, Levi, Levi. He could feel his cool slender fingers twisting little knots into his untamed hair while those perfect lips teased his with bites between childlike pecks and heated embraces. The air snuck into Eren's lungs in between kisses and the base of his spine twitched forward in response as one of Levi's hands traced down to the twin dimples that were hidden beneath his sleeping shirt. Fingertips experimentally dusting along the sensitive divuts a second time, Eren clung to Levi with his blunt nail pulling at the fabric of his partners tee-shirt.

He could feel everything and nothing at all except for the frantic beat of his own heart when Levi's lips pressed a damp tender kiss to his pulse point just below his ear then worked his way down to his throat with teeth scraping his Adam's apple. Eren's reasoning along with all manner of humility was swiftly fading as they lazily ground and rolled against one another. Were they moving too fast? Should he push Levi away and cool off? Should he tell him he's never been with a man before? Was he even ready for that yet or should he just turn his brain off for once and allow himself to be swept away. The answer came when Levi nuzzled into the crook of Eren's neck with a trembling sigh as their hardened members brushed together, separated only by their boxers.

"We should probably stop," Levi rasped, his voice strained with obvious lust. He wouldn't push Eren into doing something he wasn't ready for. He was the brats first male partner and he wanted to do things right by him.

"Why?" Eren breathed between kisses. He wanted more, so much more than what he had already been given. He'd been driven to addiction by the maddening heat boiling beneath his skin and the lust stemming from his loins. "What's wrong?"

Levi chuckled. He could see the haze in Eren's eyes and the blush on his sun-kissed skin. "We aren't thinking straight."

"So what? Just go with it, just this once Levi. Please?"

Levi bit the corner of his lip with a groan as Eren rocked his hips into Levi's and kissed his ear with heated breath. The need and want was palpable--so thick that one could cut it like a dulled knife through butter. They had each individually yearned for this--their start points irrelevant now that they were together in this world that consisted of them and the early morning sunlight breaking past the curtains dancing in the breeze. Had longed to touch, taste, tease, and hold onto one another. To monopolize each other with greedy hands and covetous kisses that would stain the others skin. The fire between them was so immense that if they didn't let off some steam now it'd boil over.

He couldn't stand it anymore. Not with the way Eren was looking at him or how his hands had begun to wander south to the elastic band of his boxers. The brat was a master in terms of breaking down his carefully constructed walls that were reinforced by rationality and reason. Shamelessly rutting against one another, their lips remained connected in a feverish kiss as they mindlessly rolled over with Levi atop Eren--the full weight of his body pressing into Eren who greedily clung to him like a man half-starved and set before a grand feast.

Eren protested with an undignified whimper when his wandering hands were caught by Levi's who relocated them to loop around his neck. Hips bucking upwards with legs hooked around Levi's waist, he was a mess of sighs, moans, and half-breathed please's. When Eren tried to reach for the upperclassman's boxers again he nearly yelped when the gap between their sweltering forms was closed by their stomachs pressing together.

"L-Levi...please," Eren beseeched as he squirmed beneath the stronger body holding his in place. "I want to touch you too."

"No." It more of a whine than a command.

Tilting his head to the side just enough Eren pressed his smiling lips to Levi's ear. "I'm not going to go soft if that's what you're worried about. I'm not stupid. I know you have a dick."

"Knowing and seeing are two very different things," Levi countered. 

He could see it now--the possibility in which Eren would abruptly and immediately become repulsed by what he saw if Levi let him strip him. What would he do if Eren didn't want him? He had laid himself bare enough times leading up to this point. Couldn't the kid be happy with a handjob and wait until the idea of dating a man had fully and soundly settled in?

Eren gently carded his fingers through Levi's hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Please? I want to see you too. I want to touch you so bad it's driving me crazy."

"You might change your mind," Levi admitted. He was making a fool of himself but his heart would not be silenced. "You've only been with women so you might get turned off."

"Or I might get even more turned on."

"Eren..."

"Please?" Again, he was asking; waiting for Levi to trust him--to let him in past the barriers and see the parts of his heart he kept hidden. "We'll never know if we don't try."

"It's the first day brat."

"So what do we have to lose?" Eren was smiling now because, for once, Levi was the one acting like the spoiled child. Hands massaging his tense shoulders before trailing down to his hips, Eren bit his own lip with eyes darting up to meet Levi's. "We'll be fine. Just please for fuck's sake let me touch you."

Lips trembling slightly, Levi pressed them into a line as he swallowed hard on his nervousness. As much as he hated the idea of Eren rejecting him, he'd rather risk rejection than hurt the kid with unnecessary doubt. He could see the longing in Eren's eyes. Could feel it rolling off of him in waves--almost choking on a gasp when the young man pressed his member against Levi's. Turning his face so that he wasn't looking Eren in the eyes--breath wafting over the soft skin of his bronze cheek--he couldn't look as the hands on his hips pushed his boxers down and over the swell of his ass before Eren carefully moved his left leg up so that he could pull them off the rest of the way with his foot.

Levi had never been this anxious before. Had never been so excited or terrified in his life. That first intimate night he spent with his first boyfriend after junior prom in which he topped despite his lack of experience and knowledge of sex between two men. The time he had kissed his first girlfriend under the bleachers at his middle school and accidentally cut her lip with his braces. That awkward moment when Hanji barged into his dorm during their freshman year at NYU right when his partner was going down on him. All of it couldn't outweigh the enormity of this moment. He felt so exposed--more naked than he actually was with every fear and insecurity on display for Eren to see. The only thing that brought him down from the ceiling he'd pinned himself to was when Eren palmed his hard length with his fingertips teasing the soft hairs surrounding the base.

Finally meeting Eren's gaze, he was awash with fondness set in a sea of glittering emerald green with pops of radiant gold. In those eyes he saw no apprehension or disgust. There wasn't a trace of repulsion to be found as Eren's eyes drank in the sight before him--touching and lightly taunting the skin he had craved to feel beneath his fingers. Base instinct overriding his better judgement along with any doubt that lingered in the hazy heights of his mind, Levi lunged forward capturing Eren's lips with his. Moans were birthed from them as their bodies formed around one another and their lengths pressed together with an unimaginable heat. Grabbing Eren's thighs, he hiked them up so that they were hooked together just below his waist creating the perfect angle to thrust against the underside of the Eren's balls and cock which elicited the most beautiful sounds from him.

"L-Levi," Eren panted with chest heaving and hair clinging to his forehead from the sweat beading there. "Holy f-fuck, it's so good. How the fuck is it this good?"

"Eren," Levi gasped as the pressed together harder, more heatedly with the young mans fingers pulling at his hair and shirt collar. "You're so hot."

"You too." Eren's back bowed with a singularly rough thrust and the accompanying moan was swallowed in full by Levi as their lips came together for a needy kiss rich with the fire burning within them both. "Levi..." he groaned as the rocking grew. "I'm gonna cum. You're...g-gonna make...me cu--"

"Do it," Levi ground out as he took their lengths in his hand and began working them to completion. Biting Eren's earlobe with a playful suck at the end, Levi rubbed his cheek against the brats with a muted rolling moan. "It's okay if it's fast. I can't hold out either."

"Levi. L-Levi I'm cumming. I'm--"

Back bowing almost violently, Eren would have levitated off of the bed if Levi wasn't there holding him in place as he came. The room bled white with vanishing spots and his body was engulfed by the fire that had started at the top of his head, worked its way down to his belly where it brewed until dropping to his loins. His heart was on the ceiling as he spilled onto his stomach with Levi following close behind--his roar muted by the harmless bite he sank into the crook of Eren's neck. They were a trainwreck of tangled limbs, sweat, and heavy breathing as they came down from their high. All at once, Eren felt the overwhelming need to be held; to affirm that this wasn't a delusion birthed from yet another fever pitch. Hand scrambling for what it sought--what it needed--he sighed when Levi took his frantic hand in his and kissed the back of it.

"It's okay," Levi murmured with eyes shut as his head rose and fell with each breath his lungs drew in. "I'm right here. You're okay Eren."

A shuddering sigh left him as did the fear. "Sorry. I just...I keep expecting to wake up."

"You've wanted me that much?"

Eren nodded. He couldn't make the words form much less say them aloud.

"Me too," Levi assured with a faint air of nonchalance. "I've wanted you too but I thought you weren't interested."

"I've w-wanted you since June," Eren admitted; kicking himself mentally with no remorse. Why was he so painfully awkward during moments like these? "I was confused and was afraid of you finding out. I tried to hide it. Made myself hate you because I thought it'd be easier than liking you the way I did."

"Was it easier?"

Eren shook his head. Holding Levi closer, he buried his face in the damp fragrant crown of Levi's dark hair that smelt of the sand and sea. "It was horrible. So much worse than wanting you in secret was."

"I'm happy you came around."

"Same," he laughed. Aimlessly tracing the curve of Levi's back with his fingers, Eren cracked a smile as Levi hummed his appreciation. "I felt like such a pervert because you were all I could think of. I'd never been that confused in my life."

"I remember feeling like that. It gets easier when you put a name to it though." Levi snorted a short laugh. "Took me a while to figure that one out myself to be honest."

"Hey Levi, I...." Eren paused--hesitated because his head was screaming at him that it was too soon. That he should keep these words dangling on his tongue to himself. "I really like you."

Levi kissed his shoulder. "I really like you too brat." They laid there for a long relaxing moment listening to the birds outside and the sound of the Petra's mother and the housekeeper shuffling in the kitchen downstairs as they started making breakfast. "We should clean up. We're a mess."

"Can we lay here for just a little longer?" He knew how much Levi detested uncleanliness outside of his work in the field but Eren couldn't help himself. He didn't want to let go yet. Didn't want to feel the cool air on his skin when they separated or experience the loss of Levi's smell on him. Eren didn't want to face the world yet. Not when everything was so raw and his mind was still catching up with reality. "I d-don't want to hide," he stammered quietly. "I don't want to keep us a secret. I mean i-if that's okay with you."

A blush stained Levi's face as he buried himself in the warmth of Eren's chest. "You're really a force of nature."

"So is it okay?"

Levi nodded. "Yeah, it's okay." He hugged Eren back as well as he could when the kid's arms tightened around him; cradling him as if he were a treasure found at the bottom of the Mediterranean after thousands of years of waiting for someone to find him.

"My Alexander..." Eren murmured.

Levi smiled.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The world was alive with densely saturated colors that spilled into Erens eyes accompanied by a symphony of noise that breathed into him with every exhale. Silly smile plastered to his face with no hope of it ever leaving, he descended the stairs with Levi at his side--their shoulders brushing and knuckles dusting the skin atop the others hand as they entered the foyer. He was so high on this feeling of adoration; his skin alight with the energy the man beside him had imbued it with earlier that morning. Glancing to Levi, he bit the corner of his lip when he saw the star shaped birthmark on his shoulder peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. Leaning over, he kissed it before they stepped out onto the veranda where everyone had already gathered.

"Dork," Levi chuckled under his breath as he gently nudged Eren's arm.

Taking their seats at the far-most end of the long sun-bleached wooden table--both sitting side by side and within a breaths reach of one another--they hadn't a care in the world. They were oblivious. High off of one another and the hum of energy sparking between them as their knees knocked together beneath the table and whispered jokes were shared like schoolyard secrets. The light somehow was brighter and the air was sweeter--peppered with the fragrant sparks of orange blossom, lemon zest, and sea salt carried on the breeze. The world was alive in glorious technicolor and Eren and Levi were at its center soaking it all in as they stole glances and touches of to the shoulders, arms, and fingers.

"The space just keeps on shrinking between you two," Hanji observed from the opposite side of the breakfast table, her glasses slumping down her Athenian nose--the light catching in them as if to punctuate her statement with a playful glint.

Of course she knew. Levi could see it in the way she smiled at him and how her brow arched ever so slightly. "Don't you start, shitty glasses," he advised as he tossed a large grape at her forehead.

"Pfft, as if you could stop me. It's a little sad though because I was just starting to enjoy the drama."

"What drama?" Erwin chimed. Stepping out onto the veranda looking as polished as usual, he took the seat to Levi's right. "You look more refreshed than usual."

"That's because Levi and Eren are ba--"

"Hanji?!" Eren almost choked knowing full well what she was about to say.

"I swear Hanji I'll throw you into the fountain if you finish that sentence," Levi warned her one last time. He wasn't about to let her out them when he and Eren had decided to do it on their own terms. Glancing between Erwin and his spectacled friend grinning like mad across the way, he clicked his tongue then rolled his eyes. "We're a thing," he said calmly while reaching for another grape to pop into his mouth. "It shouldn't be that much of a surprise though since you both already seem to know what's up."

"Mhmm," Hanji smirked. Erwin could only chuckle and shake his head as he opened up the weekly newspaper.

Breakfast carried on in its usual manner with a few of the neighbors dropping in. There was the usual argument over politics--not even mornings were spared from the bickering--and the usual side conversations revolving around sports, fashion, and, of course, the dig site circulated around the table. Anchise, the elderly gentleman from across the road, stopped in with fresh fish he had caught earlier in the morning at the nearby river and his wife Elba gifted Petra with a bushel of their peaches and nectarines. Artemis and Apollo—Petra and Oluo's six year old twins—decided they'd rather play castle under the table instead of eating their food with everyone else and would occasionally bump into someone's legs causing the entire fixture to rattle. After her third grapefruit bellini their mother had given up on trying to wrangle in the rebellious children.

"So what are you doing with your day off Levi," Petra pondered aloud from the other side of the table. "I hope you aren't hiding away on a day like this to work on your thesis."

"I was considering it. And aren't you supposed to be supervising me to make sure I get it done before I leave?"

She waved a dismissive hand in front of her face as it contorted to show her disapproval. "I am but not when it's this beautiful out."

"It's Italy Petra. It's always beautiful out," Oluo teased.

She jabbed her husband in the side though there was no malice in it. "I know that but lately that's all he's been doing."

"Well if you won't allow me to stay home then maybe I'll take a bike ride down to the beach," Levi said casually with as much nonchalance as ever. Glancing to Eren, the smallest of smirks tugged at the corners of his lips. "You up for a trip to the boardwalk?"

"Sure, sounds good to me."

Levi could almost hear the internal screams as they compounded inside of Hanji who was doing her utmost to refrain from blabbering about how adorable and hideously sweet it all was. Discreetly he dipped a hand beneath the table in search of Eren's only for his to swiftly be found by what it was seeking. Weaving their fingers together, he gave it a gentle squeeze--catching the faint blush on Eren's cheeks and the subtle change in his smile. How wonderful was this feeling that their hearts could be sent soaring with just a simple touch? How strange and wondrous was this affection that it could change their perspective in a single night? 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Morning swiftly passing like a dream in a heavenly world, Levi spent the remainder of the day--as promised--at the beach. Accompanied by Hanji, Erwin, Moblit, and, for a short time, Hitch and Marlo, they were in and out of the crystalline waters. Between races to see who could swim to the cove the fastest to rock jumping from the cliffs down the coast, they hadn't a worry or care in the world. It was only them in this perfect bubble of sunshine, sand, and sea. And within that bubble was the one that was shared solely by Levi and Eren.

They had jointly agreed not to hide their relationship because there wasn't much of a point to doing so. Hanji already knew so did Erwin and Moblit. Hitch and Marlo wouldn't care either way. They'd likely prefer this over them constantly bickering and trying to hide their attraction to one another since the tension, as Hanji had put it, "was beginning to make everyone uneasy." The two men had outed themselves before either had uttered a confession and the chemistry between them was no secret once they had worked past their bullheadedness. So they took advantage of the welcoming environment and did not squander another minute of the remaining time they had together.

After a long soak in the crisp waters, Levi and Eren relaxed on the large pastel blue and white striped towels they had joined together to create a bigger sitting space where they were free of the fine grain sands that clung to their damp skin. Sitting up with legs spread with knees bent, Eren acted as Levi's lounge with the mans back pressed to his chest and elbows propped atop his copper knees. His stirling eyes concealed by a pair of aviators, the upperclassman was immersed in his worn hardcopy of _The City and the Pillar_ , a gift given to him years ago by Oluo along with a few other novels from his collection that he happened to be clearing out to make room for more literary works. Turning the page, he hummed momentarily, dogeared the corner of the page to mark his spot, then closed it--the book resting on the towel to his left as he reclined even deeper into Eren as the young man combed his fingers through Levi's hair.

"Tired of reading?" Eren smiled as he dipped down to kiss the skin between Levi's brows.

"Mmm, a little." Levi shifted a bit as he got comfy; smiled when Eren wrapped his arms around his torso and pulled him down to lay under the partial shade of the yellow candy-striped beach umbrella. 

Legs tangling loosely together they radiated the same happiness they had fallen asleep with the night before and awoken to that morning. Expression softening as Eren reached up to trace his jaw with his fingers, Levi breathed out a sigh. This perfect connection--this shared understanding and quiet acceptance was all he had wanted, all he could have ever hoped for. He had never known someone quite like Eren. Had never met someone bold enough to be as open about their relationship as they were being in that moment with all of their friends fully aware of their friendship turning into something more. He had never met a man as courageous, stubborn, or endearing as Eren; doubted he ever would. Smiling when he felt the damp press of Eren's lips to his punctuated by the lingering taste of sea salt, Levi surrendered to the embrace; allowed himself to be carried along because he loved how masterful the brat was at doing so.

"I'm happy Petra forced you to take the day off," Eren murmured against the smooth skin of Levi's lip. Pressing another kiss to his cheek just below his ear, he sighed. "You need more days like these."

" _We_ need more days like this," Levi beamed back. Draping an arm over Eren's waist, the other played with the unruly crown of cinnamon hair that strangely yet pleasantly smelt of sandalwood. "Thank you Eren."

Eren laughed awkwardly. "What for?"

"For not being afraid of this. For not hiding us."

"Yeah, well thank you for letting there be an 'us.' Honestly," Eren pulled him in closer, "I was so ready for you to reject me that I hadn't even though about what'd I'd say if you accepted me."

"Really?"

He nodded; fingertips aimlessly tracing the curve of Levi's back. "That's why when you kissed me I promised to never hide. Our relationship isn't something I want others to think I'm ashamed of. It's totally out of left-field for me and I've never been with a guy or been interested in another man before but," he paused for a brief moment as their eyes met--Levi's just visible over the rim of his sunglasses. "But you're different. I don't know why but you just are."

Levi didn't know what to say. He hadn't any comeback or teasing remark when faced with such honesty. So instead he laid there with both hands now framing Eren's face--his thumbs rubbing along the fine line of the young mans jaw. Eren had said many times before that he thought Levi was beautiful. Had overheard him when he had compared him to a otherworldly being fallen from some pantheon. Before their first kiss, Levi had chalked it all up to be deep-seated admiration and reverence. Before their first kiss he could ignore the curious lilt to Eren's tone and the urgency behind his gaze. Before last night, Levi had made peace with the thought of their friendship resulting in nothing more than a close platonic bond despite how his feelings may have grown into something else. But he could not deny it now that they had spoken so honestly to one another last night; not when they had kissed so deeply and chosen together not to hide anymore.

Shifting in, Levi kissed Eren softly on the lips as if he were whispering a promise in secret to him. "My Hephaestion," was all he could manage and did so with a smile of devotion.

Eren brushed their noses together with the same silly smile he'd been wearing all afternoon long. "Alexander."


	7. Thieves Like Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I've watched your face for a long time_   
>  _It's always the same_   
>  _I've studied the cracks and the wrinkles_   
>  _You were always so vain_   
>  _Well, now you live your life like a shadow_   
>  _In the pouring rain_   
>  _Oh, it's called love_   
>  _Yes, it's called love_   
>  _Oh, it's called love_   
>  _And it belongs to us_   
>  _Oh, it dies so quickly_   
>  _It grows so slowly_   
>  _But when it dies, it dies for good_   
>  _It's called love_   
>  _And it belongs to everyone but us_
> 
> -New Order, _Thieves Like Us_

.................. _one day in mid-September_.......................

It was insufferably hot--stuffy by late morning and sweltering by midday. Climbing through the afternoon sky with sluggish vengeance and dwelling too long overhead, the Italian sun beat down on the excavation site. It hung there unmoving as if Helios himself had stopped partway through his journey along the celestial sphere to gaze down upon the humans toiling away on earth, likely wondering what they were doing and why. Admittedly, it was rather strange, pouring plaster of Paris into carved holes in the ground beneath them before moving on to the next orange flag sticking out of the ground. Personally, Eren didn't want to be there either that day; had hoped that Helios would quicken his trek so that the day would end sooner.

There was something indecent about filling the cavities the victims of Vesuvius left behind as they were covered with superheated ash and dirt that had seared their flesh half a millennia ago. Something strange and unnerving in knowing that within a few days he'd come face to face with the ghosts that still haunted the slowly crumbling city of Pompeii. It made his stomach churn and his skin prickle as the thick grayed white plaster flowed into the holes that had been gingerly poked through--exposing the remains to the first breath of fresh air they'd seen in centuries.

Lying down--chest pressed to the ground with his head hovering a fraction over the opening as Gino moved away with the last of the plaster, he peeked into the cavity to see if it was as high as it could go. Tapping the length from the where the head was estimated to be down to the feet, he turned back to the hole and looked one last time. It was only after he had given the thumbs up that they moved along. Carefully, the brunette slid backwards with his back arched before righting himself. It was the only way he dared get up because any other method would risk him putting his foot through the thin roof of the cavity and destroying the mold. Eren shook the dirt from his cargo shorts, faded tee, and sunburned limbs with a sigh then rolled his head back--groaning pleasantly with every crackle of his tired neck and shoulders.

"Hey," Levi said as he approached from across a dirt mound. "Catch."

Eren fumbled to catch the water bottle that had been tossed his way; would have scolded the upperclassman had he not been silenced with a petal soft kiss to the back of his neck as the man passed by. It was so casual yet so sweet it sent his heart reeling. Throat tightening as Levi glanced over his shoulder with the faintest of smirks then looked away as he walked ahead with Moblit and Hanji flanking his sides, Eren couldn't help the pang of jealousy that sprouted in the pit of his stomach like a sickness laying its first roots.

There wasn't anything for him to be jealous about. Nothing for him to suspect or fear. Nothing that should keep him up late at night pondering the validity or sincerity of their relationship. Levi had been nothing but open about their romance. By now, everyone knew and had quietly accepted them without remark or protest; it wouldn't matter even if they hadn't. Eren and Levi were inseparable now--their friends unable to determine where one heart ended and the other began. Stitched together with hearty thread, it was rare when Levi was without the brunette--likewise for Eren being without the upperclassman.

Regardless of this, Eren still felt the urgent need to monopolize him. To occupy more than just his heart but his mind and time. He had never felt so greedy before. Had never wanted to be the center of someone's world but there he stood hoping Levi would look over his shoulder one more time. That same shoulder with the star shaped mark that had been branded onto that beautiful creamy skin at birth. That shoulder he had kissed dozens--maybe hundreds--of times. That fair neck he bit and licked earlier that morning as their bodies tangled together in the sheets--pelvises rutting together shamelessly in desperate search of relief. Those eyes like starlight that were now fixed on him as Levi called Eren's name. No matter how often they held one another, Eren knew it would never be enough.

Sitting down at one of the lunch tables in the shade of the heavy canvas tent a few yards from where the plaster molds were setting, Eren's heart was at war with his mind and body as it screamed for him to change tables and take his rightful place beside Levi. They were only a couple feet apart--within a stones throw of one another but it was still too far. The addiction was too strong and the withdrawal too painful to manage without complaint. Yet he didn't dare ask Hanji or Moblit to move. Didn't challenge them as they sat next to Levi--Hanji laughing wildly as Moblit scolded her for going too far in the underground tunnels that had been made to access the deeper parts of the site. Didn't move from where he was sitting with Sasha and Connie and Annie because Levi was not Eren's possession. He did not own him; hadn't claimed him like a master bidding for a servent. He was his Alexander just as Eren was Levi's Hephaestion--equal and separate.

As he fiddled with the salad on his plate next to the baked chicken with roasted tomatoes and olive and melted ricotta cheese and herb focaccia toast, Eren replayed the last conversation he had had with his brother. He hadn't meant to come out to Zeke though he was certain he wouldn't mind either if his little brother was dating a man. Rather, to Eren's surprise, Zeke had guessed correctly when he asked if Levi was the one who put the hickey's on his shoulder that were peeking out from his sleep shirt.

" _I knew you were interested in him_ ," Zeke had said over the the weak video chat connection; a chuckle escaping him as he watched Eren pull his shirt collar up to cover the marks. " _He's all you ever talk about anymore._ "

" _So you don't think it's weird?_ " Eren had asked. He didn't know why it mattered whether or not Zeke thought it was weird. It wasn't like they have a chance for Levi to meet his family--a sentiment that cracked the walls of Eren's heart the more he thought about it.

" _Not really. I mean, I'm a little surprised since you've always dated women but does it really matter? It's not like I'm the one that has to live with the choices you make. So long as you're happy Eren and he treats you right, I'm good. _"__

__Zeke was right. He wasn't the one who had to live with the consequences of these choices--be they good or bad. It was Eren who would be at the mercy of the aftermath that followed this relationship. He had already invested so much of himself in this. Had already given his heart over to Levi without any words being exchanged or demands being made._ _

__" _Just make sure you understand what you're getting yourself into, Eren,_ " Zeke had cautioned him._ _

__Eyes moving from his food to Levi, Eren felt the air lodge itself in his throat and his heart seize. ' _A year,_ ' he thought silently. That was all they had. No, not even that. They had five months. Five months left to hold one another close. Five months left to spend laying on the beach in the sweet Italian sun only to return home and spend the evening wrapped around one another--Levi's head on his thigh as Eren read the second draft of the upperclassman's thesis. Five months left to explore every bit of his mind, learn what he liked, loved, hated, and feared. Eren had five months and only that left to listen to Levi's laughter and watch him smile._ _

__The jealousy Eren had felt earlier gave way to a nauseating concoction of dismay, desperation, and pained acceptance. Appetite gone and patience for company diminishing by the minute, Eren excused himself from the table--his half eaten lunch abandoned like an undesirable at the wedding alter--fancifully dressed and appealing yet unwanted by their intended. Wandering through the excavated peristyle brought up on either side by towering columns of alabaster stone painted near their crown, Eren looked away from the covered slabs with the pulled finished plaster molds drying off under their canvas tarps. Those poor unfortunate innocents, they knew nothing of the pyroclastic surges that had entombed them or the poisonous ash that filled their lungs. They only knew of the beautiful whether that morning in autumn--only knew the warmth of the sun and cool breeze as it rolled in from the bay before their world came crumbling down around them. Those forms that laid on the cold metal slabs awaiting transport was all that was left of the families who had been caught up in the chaos. The men and women, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, friends, and companions--the lovers that had been found side by side, their hands holding one another tight as death took them. Would Eren ever know a love so grand? Would he have someone's hand to hold when his world faded to black?_ _

__Splashing water over his face, he stared at himself in the mirror of the portable lavatory. What was he hung up on? What did he want? He wanted Levi, that was for certain. More than anything he had desired in his life, he yearned for Levi--craved him with a sort of fever that bordered madness. But the question was, could he survive the separation? His fondness had swiftly progressed past adoration and affection and morphed into something stronger, something more powerful and frightening because Eren couldn't identify--only knew that this feeling existed within him and drove his need to be near Levi; his desire to have him, all of him without sharing the man with anyone else. Did he truly understand what was happening? What _would_ happen to them both if they continued down this path? None of these questions had presented themselves the night Eren had held Levi in his arms as the upperclassman wept over the loss of his sister. Neither of them uttered these fears when their lips met for the first time or the following morning when they came together in a way that transcended the bonds of friendship--an act repeated almost every night when they had the energy and grew in its passion if they allowed themselves to be dragged out to sea by the rip current of their own desire. Levi had once said as they laid together bare and unashamed that Eren's fatal flaw was his overthinking. Was he overthinking things?_ _

__Sighing, he pushed away from the sink, rinsed his hands one more time for good measure, then unlocked the door. Waiting for him outside was Levi--back pressed against the ancient fresco wall with hands shoved into his pockets. Summoned by the frantic thoughts swirling through his troubled companions head, he had been waiting patiently for the brunette to leave the lavatory for the past five minutes. When Eren emerged, Levi greeted with no words. Just a warm half smile that conjured the dimple of his right cheek into existence. Nothing needed to be said between them. It had already been read on their faces, in their body language--Levi's open and unimposing while Eren's was ridged and tense.They could see it in one another's eyes. See the understanding in Levi's and the shame and apprehension in Eren's._ _

__Biting his bottom lip gently, Levi chuckled with a kind smile as he reached out, took Eren by the wrist, and pulled him in close; wrapping his arms completely around the brunette until he was enveloped in the warm gentle scent of crisp citrus and cedar and the heat of sun-kissed skin. Combing his fingers up through the short hairs If Erens unruly hair, Levi kissed the side of his head--lips brushing the shell of his ear as they found purchase on Eren's temple. In kind, Eren returned the gesture with a kiss of his own to Levi's throat just above his collarbone where the smell of his bodywash was the strongest. It was safe wrapped up like this. Peaceful and far away from the fears and doubts and worries that plagued him like the clouds of ash terrorizing the ancient Pompeians. It was during moments like these that he was assured that he wasn't the only one desperate for contact. That Levi was feeling what he was feeling and was just as touch starved as Eren was._ _

__"You done being a tree?" Levi asked._ _

__Eren nodded, face hidden in the crook of Levi's neck._ _

__"You okay to talk about it?"_ _

__Eren shrugged._ _

__Lips curling, Levi chuckled while ruffling his partners soft chestnut hair. "I see. You've gone back to giving me the silent treatment."_ _

__"No I haven't."_ _

__"Ah, he speaks."_ _

__Eren groaned, curling up more tightly against Levi. "I'm just...thinking. I don't know. My head is all full right now and I can't think straight. It's...it's just frustrating."_ _

"Mmmm," Levi hummed. He had found that it was best to remain silent when Eren started rambling and let the young man sort things out on his own rather than trying to assist him.  


__"I just keep thinking about what Zeke said about how I need to understand what I'm getting into and that we don't have forever."_ _

__"Zeke? You mean your brother, right?"_ _

__Eren nodded. "I didn't mean to tell him. I'm sorry."_ _

__"It's okay."_ _

__"You sure?"_ _

__"Yes I'm sure," Levi smirked as he gave a playful pinch to Eren's side, loving the way it made the kid laugh even if it was only for a moment. "He's right, we don't have forever Eren. But we do have this moment and the ones that come after." Holding Eren's face in his hands, Levi tilted his head so that he could better look him in the eyes. "We can worry about January when it gets closer."_ _

__"Will you miss me?" Eren asked, his voice barely above a whisper with his eyes fixed on the ground between their shoes._ _

__Taking in a deep breath then exhaling through his nose as he thumbed the curves of Eren's cheekbones, Levi pressed their foreheads together--their noses brushing and breath mingling with lips just a whisper apart. "I'll miss you Eren. So much that I already know it's going to hurt. But it's okay," he smiled, his voice chipper and yet somehow somber, "We'll be okay."_ _

__' _We_ ' Eren thought quietly. Only lovers used "we." Only married couples, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends used "we." Yet Levi had said it so casually. Had spoken the word with silent promise that Eren wasn't the only one afraid of the impending separation. Had said "we" as if he intended for them to meet again in the future; for them to not leave it as a summer romance. Could there be a "we"? Could they keep this alive with the staggering distance between them not only when Levi left but when Eren returned to Columbia? He'd be entering the master's program which would eat away his precious time while Levi would likely be swallowed alive by the workload demanded of him by the doctorate program. Could they make it work?_ _

__Gaze lifting from the ground, Eren was instantaneously swept away by the whirlpool of starry blue washing over him. Looking into those eyes he adored so deeply, he felt the need to hold onto his fears lessen with every bat of the thick lashes that rimmed Levi's haunting gaze. In him, Eren saw joy, peace, reassurance, and promise. In Levi Eren saw hope for something more. Saw a strength he would never have and would likely rely on the upperclassman for for the rest of his life. Eren saw himself falling even harder and deeper, tumbling helplessly over himself as his heart gave itself up to Levi like a sacrificial lamb given to the slaughter._ _

_'You already have me falling for you Levi, if you say words like that there'll be no hope for me,'_ Eren admitted in silence as their lips came together for a kiss meant to soothe any pain or fear. _'You have me hanging on your every word, it's driving me crazy. I want you more than anyone should want anything. I want to live inside your heart forever. I want you all to myself--so much that I'm losing my mind thinking about you all the time. I want you to fall for me.'_ Eren realized, their lips parting and mouths opening to one another while fingers twisted into one another's hair. _'I want you to be as desperate for me as I am for you. Adore me how I adore you. Love me the way I...'_

__Eren couldn't finish his own train of thought let alone believe he had just fathomed such a thing. It was too soon. Far too soon even if his heart said otherwise--calling himself a liar behind his back as the kiss deepened with Levi pivoting them to the side so that Eren was pressed against the wall. This was what he needed. Not his brain running a mile a minute or his possessiveness confusing mutual affection for love. Not his anxiety seeping through and wrecking his afternoon regardless of how humid and hot it was. No. What he needed was to feel the firm press of Levi against him. To have his defenses overpowered and fears quelled by the sweetness of Levi's tongue as it rolled tenderly over his. Eren needed to feel their fingers laced together, palms flatten against one another, and the hips bump together as they clung to each other._ _

__"Please Eren," Levi breathed between kisses. "It'll be alright. Just be here with me right now. 'Kay?"_ _

__Eren nodded, nudging his chin at Levi's so that their lips could connect once more. Even that brief second of detachment was painful. "Okay," he murmured with lips pressed to Levi's. "I'm here."_ _

__"Are you really?"_ _

__Again, the brunette nodded. "Yeah," he breathed into Levi, loving and savoring the way he tasted on his tongue. "I'm here."_ _

__\---------------------------------------------------------------------_ _

__The atmosphere was on fire and alive with an exciting energy that crackled and snapped along the nerves of the patrons at Treno Relitto that night. It was "It's A Trap" Thursdays and a guest DJ had been invited to swap spots with DJ GiGilo--the newcomer the helm now a tall deeply-tanned goddess with her fro hanging in ringlets around her freckled face with circle glasses deflecting the light from the dancefloor. Her set was refreshing; a spin on the usual with a femme fatale edge that could be threaded through almost every song as it was played. But more importantly, it was something that could be danced to. Not just furious senseless moshing, throwing up of hands, and heated grinding. It appealed to the masses and brought everyone to the dancefloor in a mass migration._ _

__Eren was at the center of the sea of people as they all moved, jumped, and sang along to the music in a disjointed nearly drunken symphony. He never did know his limit. Had been told once or twice that he shouldn't drink as much as he did when he went out with friends. But he couldn't help it. Couldn't stop himself. It made his heart beat faster. Made the lights that much more enchanting. Made the music that much more intense as it flowed through him, vibrated through his bones, and course up his spine in shockwaves as the beads of sweat rolled down the bronze column of his spine beneath his shirt._ _

__Smiling wide with eyes closed he twisted and contorted to the melody like a snake charming its charmer. Next to him was Sasha who was busy dancing with Connie, Hanji who was doing some strange fusion of the robot and pop-locking with a drunk Moblit, and Marzia who had already moved on from their brief relationship and took their meetings at Treno Relitto as an opportunity to catch up. She had always been easy to dance with. Light on her feet and nimble where Eren was clumsy, it was fun dancing with Marzia because he never had to worry about embarrassing himself. But as pleasant as it all was, it would have been better, Eren thought to himself, if Levi was there dancing with him._ _

__Like a shrinking violet, Levi closed up when the crowds were outrageous and the music was loud. It was surprising though not too shocking for Eren when he realized the extent of the upperclassman's awkwardness. Perhaps this was why he gravitated towards people like Hanji and Erwin. Perhaps they were the reason he appeared to be a "social butterfly" when he in fact wasn't one at all. It was endearing, really, seeing him press his back to the bar with one hand shoved into his pocket while he nursed his bottle of Guinness with the manners of trust fund child trying desperately not to stick out like a sore thumb. He was so charming when he was shy--just as sweet in his awkwardness as he was when he and Eren were alone and free from prying eyes that would watch and scrutinize their every move._ _

__It was in the seconds it took for their eyes to meet and for the SOS signal Levi was sending to Eren that the brunette decided to take control of the night. Biting the corner of his lip with a devious smirk and fire in his bright jeweled eyes, Eren tilted his head to the side then jerked his chin in a silent "come hither." Levi shook his head. Eren tired again and was met with the same obstinance. ' _Stubborn brat_.' he chuckled as the upperclassman shifted uncomfortably under the weight of Eren's scheming gaze. He didn't mind though. Eren always loved a challenge and could see one in the look Levi was throwing his way._ _

__Weaving through the shifting entanglement of dancing forms, arms being thrown up in the air when the song changed, and people tumbling over their own feet, Eren found his way to Levi whose barely-there lopsided grin bloomed into something more genuine when the kid stopped right in front of him. Stepping into Levi's space until their fronts of the belts bumped, Eren took the beer from his curious partners hands--heart already pounding as those pools of starlight bored into him--took a swig, and then set the beer down as he kissed Levi; shotgunning the liquor from his mouth to the upperclassman's with only a drop escaping from the corner of his lips._ _

__He pulled away moments later when he felt a gentle gulp--couldn't kiss Levi any longer than that or else his body would betray him. Eren wouldn't have been able to control himself if they had continued for a moment longer. Probably would have dragged Levi to the bathroom in that very moment had he no sense at all. He was so turned on. So enraptured and excited that the electricity between them was both maddening and thrilling all at once. Eren could feel the heat prickling beneath his skin as Levi's eyes cleared and fixed themselves on him as if he were a meal while one of his pale hands came up and swiped a thumb over his kiss-swollen lips._ _

__"I swear I fell in love with a ghost boy," Eren leaned in and whispered in Levi's ear with a playful nip to his earlobe, his words parroting the song playing. Draped over Levi completely with his arms dangling off the upperclassman's shoulders and their chests pressed firmly together, their lips came together for a long delving kiss with Levi's fingers tangling into Eren's soft hair and the fabric of his shirt at the base of his spine. "Dance with me Levi."_ _

__"I'm not a good dancer Eren," Levi murmured between the wet languid kisses. They were so immersed in each other he didn't have the heart or the will to tear himself away from the embrace. "I prefer watching you instead."_ _

__"Please?"_ _

__"Eren..."_ _

__Eren pressed in closer while simultaneously throwing propriety to the wind. "Please?" he contested as he gently rolled his hips into Levi's. He knew exactly what he was doing. Knew the deep shit it could get him in if Levi didn't take the bait but also the immense fun they could have if he did fall for his tempestuous ways. "No one cares how bad you are at dancing. Just look at Hanji. She's out there doing...something, I don't know really. But no one's saying anything because no one cares. Please Levi?"_ _

__Far too gone from the heat of their kiss Levi groaned in defeat. "Fine," he sighed as Eren gave a shushed 'yes.' "The things I do for you."_ _

__"And oh the things I'll do for _you_ later," the brunette wagged a brow while biting his lip. _ _

__Levi tilted his head with an equally flirtatious gleam in his eyes. "Oh really now?"_ _

__Deciding to pull out his trump card, Eren whispered in his ear, "You have no idea what I do to you in my dreams."_ _

__Levi would have choked on his beer had he been drinking it at that moment. Not only was Eren more grabby and a bigger handful to handle when he he drank but he was also one of the most shameless flirts with little to no mental filter which could go one of two ways. He would either chat up some stranger, say something inappropriate, and get slapped or the other party would be just as willing as he was and they'd leave the bar together. Yet that was all in the past now. He hadn't hopped beds since he ended things with Marzia and started dating Levi. Now, all that stored passion was directed at the object of his affections and it was left to Levi to think of ways to cope with the sudden flood of affection._ _

__Not giving Levi a choice when "Fun" by Blondie came on, Eren took him by both wrists, and led the upperclassmen into the sea of people where they joined Hanji, Sasha, Connie, and the others under the candy colored pulsating lights and glittering hits from the disco ball. Clearing a space for them, their friends welcomed Levi and Eren back to the dancefloor with heightened enthusiasm facilitated by either the drinks or the atmosphere--perhaps both. It didn't matter though. They were all happy to be together. It had been months for both Hanji and Erwin since they had blown off steam together like this. As such they respected the little privacy they could give him and turned away after welcoming Levi so that he could focus on Eren and nothing else. If he tried socializing too much now it'd surely be too much._ _

__Rather than taking control as he was accustomed to doing, Levi surrendered to Eren and let him lead the way. Closing his eyes while feeling the music, he moved in time with the fluid motions of the brunette's hips, the suggestive tilt of his back, and the playful nudge of his shoulder. He lost himself in the shared heat building between them and the maddeningly sweet friction of their thighs bumping and rubbing every so often. Eyes fluttering open as Eren carded his fingers through Levi's hair, a gasp hitched in his lungs as a soft kiss was pressed to the corner of his lips. It was a contradiction to the feverish energy swirling in those pools of deep emerald. Levi had never wanted someone more than he wanted Eren. Had never craved or pined for the simple touch from a partner the way he did for Eren's touch. Eren was fun. Too much fun and Levi was all too ready to drown in him._ _

__Reaching his hands up as if he were reaching for the sun after living in the dark for an eternity, Levi took Eren's countenance in his palms, and held it with a bewitched gaze as his thumbs smoothed over the gentle curve of his tanned jaw. Time slowed as did they and the music fell away as something sparked between them; something that hadn't been there before yet was just as exciting as the moment their lips meet for the first time. The air was thick with a strange magic that brought them closer together. Was it something in the sweet fragrant summer air as it danced in the lazy breeze that rolled through? Was it the jewel colored lights overhead as they splashed over Eren's face and shoulders in bursts of fuschia, gold, cobolt, and emerald green, the same green as his beautiful eyes?_ _

__What was it? What was so different about him in that moment that it stood out so starkly from the other moments they had shared together? What had changed between them that could have Levi's pulse racing, his heart fluttering, and his throat drying almost uncomfortably? Eren was the same sarcastic yet charming brat he had been when he woke up that morning. And Levi hadn't changed either. He was still him. Still the same blunt rational thinker with too much going on in his head at the same time. They were still the same awkward fools they had been that morning when they woke up tangled together with Eren drooling on his pillow and both arms wrapped loosely around Levi's relaxed form. They were still the same people who had bickered earlier that afternoon about Eren's continued refusal to help with the cast removal process--Levi just couldn't wrap his head around why the brat didn't want to be there when the unearthed the plaster casts they had made a few days ago._ _

__They were the same but in that moment they weren't. In that moment something had shifted altering their course dramatically; Levi could feel it in the way Eren looked at him. It was the same expression of wonder and endearment that Levi was undoubtedly wearing as the brunette draped his arms over his shoulders and combed his fingers through the soft undercut of his hair. Smile growing as Eren beamed back at him, they came together for a soft sickenly sweet kiss; the kind that made Levi go weak in the knees like some highschool dream queen kissing her sweetheart for the first time. How could something as simple as a kiss reduce him to this so quickly? How could such a horribly addictive thing like this feel so good? How could it be this good?_ _

__"Lee..." a voice called, it fading in and out of the world around them. "Hey, earth to Levi," it attempted a second time. "Yo! Will you two stop making out for a second?"_ _

__Splitting faster than the atom though not leaving the comfort of each others arms, Levi almost jumped at the proximity of Hanji to them. "Sorry, what?"_ _

__"All that kissings gone and wrecked your brain, eh?" she jested with a wag of her left brow. Hanji was incorrigible in moments like these; never could keep her jokes to herself though Levi wondered if she had ever tried before. Likely not on second thought. "We were gonna bounce and head to the beach for a dip. You two up to join?"_ _

__Biting his lip, Eren looked to Levi who stood there speechless for a moment before turning to him with a smirk and a shrug. It wasn't like they were going to stay at Treno Riletto much longer to begin with and a late night swim before turning in did sound refreshing. September was already half-way through and the winter season would come soon enough after that bringing with it rain and cooler temperatures that would chill the waters just enough to make them less favorable for swimming. So they conceded without concern and left the dancefloor en masse as Debbie Harry's vocals played them out._ _

__The group split up in the parking lot with Sasha and Connie riding in Erwin and Mike's car while Levi drove Hanji's vermillion sedan--the same one Eren had said during his first month in Italy looked as if it had fallen out of a bag of Skittles. Yet he had grown fond of the tiny car that was barely capable of fitting four people in it comfortably. Riding shotgun with his phone plugged into the weathered auxiliary cord that had seen better days, Eren cranked the sound up--as high as the old speakers would allow without distorting the music--and sang along to "Disorders" by Joy Division. It was one of the many things he and Levi had connected over. One of the first things that had helped bridge the gap between them when they couldn't hold a conversation longer than five minutes before they were tearing into each other._ _

__It was strange how different things were--now and then. Bewildering because at the start of his stay, Eren couldn't stand to be around the upperclassman. He had avoided him as if he were a schoolboy once again running away from Evan Kyle who used to bully him because of his freckles and would beat him up if he didn't give him the lunch Carla would pack him every morning. He had despised Levi--cursed his existence yet had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. He had mistaken affection for hatred. Had confused everyone else's " _normal_ " for a real normal; for _his_ normal and his normal was being right next to Levi as his partner, his Hephaestion. _ _

__Smiling as Levi smiled as Eren played with the long hairs dusting the nape of his fair neck, he could feel the magnetic energy pulsing between them pulling them closer to each other without having to move an inch. Could sense the chemistry between them mature and bloom with every touch, every smile, laugh, kiss, and quiet moment they shared together. In Levi Eren found more than a friend and something that transcended a lover. He found the perfect mirror of himself. Someone he revered and adored. Someone he could listen to for hours and still find their story fascinating. In Levi he found a new better revival of himself--still the same Eren he was before but grown up. They were partners in every sense of the word--holding one another accountable while simultaneously building each other up, helping them become everything they could be. In that moment in time, Eren knew exactly what Levi was to him. Could feel the words root themselves in his heart where they swiftly made a home while dispersing the cobwebs of anxiety and denial._ _

__Leaning across the console between them because he couldn't take it anymore, Eren kissed Levi at the stoplight. Held his face in his hands and took control of his mouth in a hot needy kiss because he couldn't say the words just yet. So he let them roll off the tip of his tongue onto Levi's and prayed that what he was thinking would be conveyed. Levi had no shame in his acceptance of the embrace even as Hanji and Moblit wolf whistled and cat called from the back seat. They would always do that. That was their duty as his friends to harass him in these brief moments of PDA that became more and more frequent the longer he and Eren were together. It wasn't until the car behind them wailed on their horn--the driver yelling out his window in Italian with his face pink from frustration--that Levi pulled away with a lopsided grin and put the car in gear._ _

__\----------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _

__Falling onto the bed-- _his_ side of the bed, Eren sighed with a smile; arms stretching above his head with stomach partially exposed and feet rubbing appreciatively against the soft cotton of Levi's bedsheets. It had been a long day with an even longer night and the sun would be up in just a handful of hours if they didn't go to sleep soon. Wiggling his way under the sheets and the solitary throw blanket that would be ejected from the bed in a matter of time, Eren was wrapped in the warm crisp scent of clean cotton. He loved this smell, Levi's smell that clung to everything in the room; had seeped into the mans very skin and soaked his clothes with the dizzying combination of his cedar aftershave. _ _

__"Don't start hogging all the blankets already," Levi teased as he turned the lights off in the bathroom and opened the balcony windows to let in the breeze before climbing into bed._ _

__Without a moments hesitation, they came together--Levi wrapping around Eren who clung to him with his head nestled against his shoulder near the crook of his neck where Levi's smell was the strongest. There he could hear him breath, his pulse as it steadied, and feel the gentle flex of his muscles as they settled in for the evening. There Eren was most at peace, cradled and held dear by someone he cherished just as much as he suspected Levi cared for him. In his arms there was nothing to fear. Nothing to worry about or fuss over. Nothing to contemplate because everything and anything made perfect sense when they were together. It still baffled Eren as he laid there humming his appreciation as Levi combed his fingers through his damp chestnut curls. Why had he resisted this so strongly in the beginning? What was his reason? He'd already forgotten just as he had forgotten why they had argued that afternoon. ' _Something about being their for the plaster casts, right?_ ' he pondered to himself waning somewhere between awake and asleep._ _

__"I take it you're too tired to fool around tonight?" Levi said sweetly with a chuckle._ _

__Eren groaned in his throat as he tilted his head up. "I don't mind if you're still in the mood."_ _

__Levi rolled his eyes. "Go to sleep brat."_ _

__"How about in the morning then?"_ _

__"Sure." It was a breezy reply as if this was how they always did things; as if this had been their routine for years. Kissing his forehead, Levi yawned. "Night Eren."_ _

__"Night Levi." But Eren couldn't sleep yet. Couldn't calm his heart down as lights flickered on in head and nerves began to build. Biting his lip, Eren looked up at Levi. Memorized his countenance before speaking because he was so afraid of screwing everything up that he wanted to remember this moment just in case. "Levi..."_ _

__Levi's eyes flickered open before landing on Eren. "Hmm?"_ _

__"I--" Eren began then froze then opened his mouth once more but the words still wouldn't come. Why could he never say what he wanted when he wanted to say it? "S-Sorry, I just...I just w-wanted to... Fuck, why is this happening?"_ _

__Rolling them onto their sides, Levi wordlessly brought his hands up to frame Eren's face--the brat's growing look of consternation becoming something of a worry to him. "Eren, slow down. You don't talk right when you're flustered like this." Giving him a moment to gather his thoughts while also reigning in his breathing, Levi kissed him innocently on the lips. "Better?"_ _

__Eren shook his head. He couldn't look at Levi yet. Couldn't say what he needed to say if their eyes met again._ _

__"L-Levi, I-I'm..." he stammered, clinging to him ever tighter with eyes squeezed shut. "I-I'm falling for you...Levi... I'm falling for you hard." Doing his best not to tremble as his anxiety peaked and the "what if's" began to cloud his mind, Eren looked up to see an expression he had never seen on Levi before. Caught somewhere between shock, understanding, flattery, and bashfulness, Eren could see the responses running through the mans head; understood that he had caught him off guard and instantly regretted opening his mouth. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make it weir--"_ _

__"Why are you always so quick to apologize when I've said nothing?" Levi asked, laughing quietly when Eren answered with a groan as he buried his face in his shirt. Tightening his hold around his brat, Levi sighed; the sound hanging in the relative silence just a hair too long for comfort. "I'm falling for you too," he admitted just as timidly as Eren had. "I'm falling for you Eren so it's okay. You don't have to apologize."_ _

__"You serious?"_ _

__Levi nodded._ _

__Eren swallowed hard, still not moving from his nest in his lovers arms. "Is it always this scary? I've never fallen for anyone before so I don't know."_ _

__"I don't know really," Levi admitted, his voice cracking just a bit before he shifted enough that their legs were now comfortably laced together. "This is different from the other times I've been with someone. I don't know why, maybe it's you," Levi smirked faintly, a laugh breaching the tension as Eren jabbed his side. "But it's different this time so it's all new to me too."_ _

__"Guess we'll find out if that's a good or bad thing together then."_ _

__"Looks like it."_ _

__Smiling to himself, Eren kissed the beauty mark on Levi's throat before closing his eyes. "Night Alexander."_ _

__"Night Hephaestion."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kinda deviated from my normal pattern here and named the chapter after a non-Sufjan Stevens song which I normally don't do with this fic. However, the song just fitted so perfectly with the overall feel and development of the relationship between Levi and Eren that it'd be a crime not to do it. Plus, it kinda ties to the club scene....sorta....maybe.... Anyway, I like it so I hope ya'll do to. Here, from me to you, is "Thieves Like Us" by New Order. Cheers!
> 
> * _THIEVES LIKE US_ *  
> by New Order
> 
> I've watched your face for a long time  
> It's always the same  
> I've studied the cracks and the wrinkles  
> You were always so vain  
> Well, now you live your life like a shadow  
> In the pouring rain  
> Oh, it's called love  
> Yes, it's called love  
> Oh, it's called love  
> And it belongs to us  
> Oh, it dies so quickly  
> It grows so slowly  
> But when it dies, it dies for good  
> It's called love  
> And it belongs to everyone but us
> 
> I've lived my life in the valleys  
> I've lived my life on the hills  
> I've lived my life on alcohol  
> I've lived my life on pills  
> But it's called love  
> And it belongs to us  
> It's called love  
> And it's the only thing that's worth living for  
> It's called love  
> And it belongs to us  
> It's called love  
> Yes it's called love
> 
> Oh, love is found in the east and west  
> But when love is at home, it's the best  
> Love is the cure for every evil  
> Love is the air that supports the eagle  
> It's called love  
> And it's so un-cool  
> It's called love  
> And somehow it's become unmentionable  
> It's called love  
> And it belongs to every one of us  
> It's called love  
> And it cuts your life like a broken knife
> 
> Oh love, love, love, love, love  
> It's called love  
> And it belongs to us  
> It's called love, love, love, love, love  
> It's called love  
> And it belongs to everyone of us


	8. Drawn To The Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The strength of his arm_   
>  _My lover caught me off guard_   
>  _How? Head of a rabbit_   
>  _How? Head of a rabbit_
> 
> _For my prayer has always been love_   
>  _What did I do to deserve this?_
> 
> -Sufjan Stevens, _Drawn to the Blood_

.......... _sometime in early October_..........

Naked and entangled together with Levi's back pressed to Eren's chest and their arms laced together lazily with fingers intertwined, this was their usual manner of greeting the new day. This was how they always woke up now--flush against one another leaching each others body heat with gentle breaths filling the space between them. This was how they existed now--perfectly content in this world that was only them. So happy to be in each others presence that nothing else could reach them when their eyes met or when Eren whispered a joke--a joke only they knew--in Levi's ear to earn that soft half-moon smirk. This was how, in a sense, they had slowly stopped existing as two individuals and instead as one complete being.

Eren was always first to rise when he and Levi shared a bed. He loved waking up before his partner. Loved the slow stretch and shift of his eyes as they struggled to focus while his sense of smell zeroed in on the familiar fragrance of Levi's shampoo. Eren had hated grapefruit since he was a child. Found it far to tart and bitter for eating or drinking and avoided it the way other children avoided vegetables. However, the light sparkling hints of it wafting off of Levi's hair bewitched the brunette. It pulled him closer to daylight--pleading him to part from sleep if only to know where the pleasant smell was coming from.

Eyes fluttering open though not entirely focused on any one thing in particular, Eren smiled; pulled his arms in closer in loops around Levi's sturdy frame as he brought him in tighter. Nuzzling his face into the crown of messy black strands that tickled his nose and cheeks, he couldn't have been happier. Couldn't have felt more fulfilled--more at peace because everything he wanted was right there. Right there in his arms was the sun, the moon, the planets, and the stars in every galaxy far and wide. In his arms was the sky above and ocean deep, the sunshine and the rain. The world...that's what he held in his arms. And his world was Levi. It was so horribly sappy. So cliche and Eren should have been mortified with his childishness but couldn't find a reason to care at the moment. 

Smitten as if Eros had struck him with every arrow in his quiver the day he had first laid eyes on Levi, Eren professed his love in silence over and over, time and time again as he left soft kisses across the expanse of Levi's fair shoulders--pressing a firmer more assertive kiss on the star shaped birthmark on the back of the upperclassman's left shoulder. In the weeks since Eren had quietly and shyly admitted that he was falling for him--both their hearts beating so strongly they may have faltered--he had wordlessly told Levi he loved him. Had declared his affection and growing need with every kiss, every glance, and brush of their hands at the breakfast table and again as they came together before falling asleep. He had told Levi with wordless smiles, quiet nuzzles to his cheek, and kisses to the neck. It was so obvious. So clear yet the words he so wanted to say clung to the tip of his tongue like a frightened child on the high dive looking at the water below.

' _I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you_ ,' he repeated silently like a prayer as he felt the warmth of Levi's skin as he rubbed his jaw against the soft gentle slope of the mans neck. ' _I'm so hopeless. I can't even tell you how much I love you. I'm sorry Levi. I just hope you can figure it out. Please, just rip the thoughts straight out of my head and make me say them because you deserve to hear them. You deserve to be loved and I want to be the one who loves you._ '

Heart stuttering as the form enveloped in his arms shifted, groaned, and stretched, Eren waited with baited breath for Levi to open his eyes so that he could see those pools of starlight. It was why he woke up early every morning now. He didn't want to miss a single moment. Didn't want to wake up and find that he was alone again; that Levi had already gone off to shower without him. He had become exactly what he said he would never become--clingy, needy, always wanting. Yet, again, he couldn't find it within him to care. His previous relationships had all failed because he always held back; had only shown his partners a fragment of himself and given only a percentage of his affection. This time would be different. This time Eren wouldn't hide how he felt. Wouldn't deny Levi any affection because it was only fair since he was demanding one-hundred percent of Levi's.

"Hey," Levi rasped with that perfectly imperfect hazy smile of his as he rolled over to look at Eren.

Perfect. Absolutely indisputably perfect. It was the only way Eren could describe Levi and it was all at once thrilling and horrifying because this being was his to hold and Eren was so accustomed to driving people away even though, in this moment, all he wanted and prayed for was for the man before him to stay. To stay in his arms, in his bed, forever. To stay by his side and be his partner. Reaching up, Eren smoothed the hair away from his face--smiling brightly as Levi did the same.

"You're always up so early now."

Eren just smiled and answered him with a kiss. In the early days of their relationship, Eren had learned that--despite him saying otherwise--Levi enjoyed morning kisses. He liked them soft and sweet and with just the right amount of pressure to make them both a little weak in the knees. And sometimes, if he was more relaxed than usual, their mouths would welcome each other and the embrace would deepen. This was one of those mornings as their arms pulled one another in closer and their bodies melded together beneath the sheets. Levi was so disarming in the morning. So terribly charming and devastating in his beauty that it was nearly crippling.

"Fuck, you're too pretty in the mornings," Eren groaned as they turned over while Levi just laughed.

"You really think so?"

Eren just nodded as he sat up straight; looking away to hide the faint trace of blush tinging his cheeks.

They were caught seemingly permanently in this lovely haze--engrossed in the sound of each others laughter as the shifted in the sheets with Eren tossed atop Levi who was staring up at him with those dazzling eyes. Those eyes that regarded him with such fondness, devotion, and admiration. That gaze that enveloped him so sweetly like the comforting smell of clean linens and fresh coffee on a cold winter's morning. It was an expression of joyfulness--thankfulness and sincerity that he had the privilege of being the one Eren's heart had chosen. Hands smoothing over the brunettes sides--wandering down but not too far--Levi simply drank him in. Noted how shy the young man was with the sheets wrapped around his naked form and the new freckles that had formed on his shoulders.

Licking his lips as Eren lazily rocked his hips in his grasp, Levi gently bit down on his bottom lip--hissing when the underside of the brunette's half-firm length rubbed his. It was difficult suppressing his urges when they were already this open with one another. Like a rodent gnawing at his patience, the desire Levi felt every morning was slowly being devoured by the heat boiling up to the surface of his skin. Maddening was it that he couldn't completely cut free--not yet, not until they had made a point to cross that bridge. Levi was aware that his experience greatly outweighed his partners and that he was Eren's first male bedmate. So he would wait. Wouldn't push him or lead them into any situation he knew the kid wasn't ready for which was why he had to grip just a bit harder on Eren's hips to make him stop moving. It was a gentle squeeze akin to the ones he gave when they were trying to reassure one another when either of them were feeling down. Sweet and kind but known in its meaning, the gesture was greeted with compliance as Eren stilled himself.

Just as Levi could read him, Eren could now decipher the majority of the upperclassman's signals whether they be verbal, facial, or physical in their method of conveyance. He could see the dichotomous expression of desire and restraint in his starlit gaze. Could feel the warmth rising beneath his sun-soaked fair skin and the blush staining the tips of his ears and cheeks. They could have closed the final gap between them in that morning. Could have given themselves up to one another entirely and willingly tumbled into the hysteric bliss Eren was sure would ensue when they finally came together. He had already reconciled it with himself that he would likely be the one on the receiving end and had done his own bit of research just so that he'd be prepared. But the look in Levi's eyes when they got anywhere close to doing it was so delicate and apprehensive--likely out of consideration toward him--that Eren backed down every time. He couldn't--wouldn't--force his partner to do something when they weren't certain it was what they wanted.

So instead Eren settled for the pleasant touch of skin against skin and a warm smile before he closed the space between them and kissed Levi long and deep with both hands framing his face. Thumbs drawing long exaggerated lines along the curve of his defined jaw, the brunette sighed into the embrace as they melted together. As much as he wanted to make his fantasies come true, he was just as content with moments such as these when nothing else existed outside of their world. Flattening out completely so that their chests were flush against one another, Eren's smile grew when he felt the steady pulse beneath his palm.

"So I know...you've told me not to...bring work into the bedroom," Levi smirked with a small laugh between light kisses to his lips, cheeks, and nose, "but we have to pull the last of the molds today. After that we have to head to Herculaneum to cover up the tunnels before the rain comes in."

Eren sighed and his head fell. "This is why I don't like talking about work in bed."

"Hey, I don't like it either but it's almost nine-thirty and the news said the storm would roll in around four o'clock." Rubbing his back soothingly as his brat groaned his displeasure, Levi kissed his temple. "It'll be a quick pull since the molds had two extra days to set. After those three are out of the ground and covered on their flatbeds then we'll just book it over to Erwin's dig and help him button down a few hatches."

"Fiiine," Eren whined, his protest muffled by Levi's chest. Turning his head away, he stared at his partner's fair shoulder--his fingers dancing along its slope before he moved to kiss it. "So what am I going to be doing at Herculaneum? You've never let me work that site before so I don't know where anything is or how Erwin likes things to be done."

"I'll probably have you wrapping and boxing. I don't want you going too far into the ruins or the tunnels."

"Why not? You go in them all the time."

"Because the chances of them collapsing are high and I don't want you getting hurt." Kissing the top of Eren's head, Levi nestled his cheek against the soft wisps of unruly chestnut hair. "I need you to listen to me on this one okay? There's going to be a lot of people running around barking orders at the newcomers so if anyone starts hassalling you just tell them I already assigned you to wrapping and crating. Please?"

Eren nodded silently; stunned beyond words when he heard the faint quake in Levi's voice and felt the strength in his arms as they held him closer.

"Okay," he spoke, voice quiet but understanding as he drew nearer to Levi. "I won't go into the ruins or the tunnels."

"Thank you."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Con attenzione, con attenzione!" Levi shouted against the wind as it ripped through the work site--a plaster cast dangling fifty feet above him as he orchestrated its safe delivery into the warmth of the crate below that was awaiting it. "Il cast si spezzerà se è stato travalato tropppo!"

Motioning with his hands waving toward him, he watched the precious cast mold as it slowly descended--glancing over his shoulder every couple of moments or so to make sure the crate and the cast were aligned. Wrapped generously in layers of loosely draped plastic was the last of the figures to be unearthed from the Pompeiian soil for the month. A pair of lovers, as they were immediately identified. It was Hanji though who had come to the realization that the deceased couple holding hands as they took their last breathes were, in fact, two men--a young man likely in his teens to early twenties from the way he was dressed and his older lover. ' _An erastes and eromenos,_ ' Eren thought quietly as he gazed upon their covered hands; hands that were so tightly woven together it showed the strength and truth of their bond even in death.

"Hey," Levi said as he came up behind the brunette as the mold was placed inside the crate before being covered in a grand heap of packing hay. "You okay?"

Eyes darting away from the wooden box, Eren withdrew from his thoughts. "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?" he asked, glancing between his troubled partner and the crate. 

Levi knew what was at play in Eren's head. Knew what he was thinking about just as Eren could easily decode what he was thinking about at any given moment. But he didn't want to push him. Didn't want to invade the privacy of his thoughts because it wasn't who they were. If Eren wanted to tell him, he would. Sometimes it required a bit of coaxing to get the words to spill out but nothing more than that. Looking at Eren who had gone back to looking at the crate, Levi took the young mans hand in his then leaned in to kiss his shoulder. Despite the weather it was still warm and muggy out even with the dark storm clouds gathering overhead and the intermittent drizzle. He could taste the salt of the sweat on Eren's skin. Could feel the unease in his stance and the tension in his shoulders.

"They probably loved each other dearly," Levi murmured, his voice only loud enough for Eren to hear. "To stay together like that as their world came crumbling down around them."

Throat growing tighter, Eren felt his heart clench. "Would you stay?" he all but whispered. He was afraid of the answer he would get in return but desperately wanted to know. What were they to one another? "If the world was coming to an end, would you stay with me?"

Eyes fixed on the crate as two men came to move it, Levi pressed into Eren with his chin on his shoulder as he turned inwards to his neck. "I--"

"Levi! Eren! We gotta head out!" Petra called from a couple yards away. She rarely ever was on site when Erwin, Levi, and Hanji were there but decided the moving teams needed an extra hand. "The rain is already starting to come down near Herculaneum."

Eren sighed; breaking free from Levi's embrace feeling guilty for asking what he had. "We should get going. Erwin needs us."

"Yeah." It was a quiet response lacking the joy they had basked in that same morning. Taking Eren's face in his hands, Levi kissed him quick. "Remember not to go into the tunnels and to stay away from the outer ruins."

"I will."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

\-----x-----x-----x-----

The ride to Herculaneum was quiet--tense as if the lightning crackling through the sky had charged the air inside the small vermillion sedan they were packed into with Eren pressed into the left side, Levi in the middle talking to Petra, who was to his right, about what artifacts took priority, and Moblit and Hanji in the front. Trapped in his own thoughts as he watched the specks of water streak the window he was looking through, Eren could still see the ghostly figures of the lovers as they were planted in their crate. Could see their hands twined together, their bodies joined with the young mans head on his partners shoulder, and their faces hidden from the toxic air they had been breathing in their last moments alive. Could make out the expressions of mixed sadness and acceptance on their faces before they were concealed once again behind the wooden lid of their crate. He could see their story coming alive--watched it play out in his head over and over in the same manner as a silent film.

It was so tragic. So heartbreaking to leave the world at such a young age. To leave when one had just learned the wonders, pain, and beauty of falling in love. Licking his lips as the familiar pain from before started to sink in once more, settling into his bones and spreading like a rampant cancer, Eren couldn't breathe. He couldn't move or even blink as his mind turned traitor placing he and Levi in the fray as Vesuvius erupted. There they stood, in their bedroom in ancient Pompeii--he frightened beyond words as Levi held him tight while whispering sweetly that it would be alright as he gently combed a hand through his hair. Could Eren be so selfish to ask him to do such a thing? To stay and die with him rather than leave? Would Levi ask him to do the same?

His questions remained unanswered as they arrived on site at Herculaneum--it being more massive and far more grand in its opulence than Eren had imagined. This was where the top one percent of the one percent had once gathered. This was where emperors held grand week long parties in the mid of summer and vacationed when court life became too strenuous. This was where judges bathed in gilded public bathes and the wives of generals and commanders gathered for a weekend of extravagance and gossip. The villas that used to house the empires elite now stood abandoned--outlined in support structures and scaffolding as their decaying pillars threatened to buckle from excessive oxidation. Barren ground salted from the ash and fallout sat where sprawling gardens and peristyles once laid. What's more was that only a small fraction of the site had been unearthed with the majority still unground, hidden--trapped--beneath modern day Naples.

Stepping onto the ancient soil, Eren looked around at the organized chaos unfolding upon their arrival. The newest team members were scrambling about with tarps in the haze created by the drizzle, frantically trying to covered the skeletal remains of the victims they had found down by the docks. Stacked beneath a clear covering were terracotta pots and amphoras and golden circlets worn as jewelry as well as random pieces of carbonized food that had been preserved in the ash. Barking orders in the midst of the madness was Erwin and Oluo who looked all too relieved at the arrival of Levi's team.

"Thank God you're all here. One of the roofs caved in and we're short on hands now," Erwin said with urgency in his worried eyes of crystal blue. They were so much different from Levi's despite being similar in shade. Still, their emotions were clear when it came to their eyes.

"Tell me where you need us," Levi spoke, his voice calm and reassuring as he placed a firm hand on his friends' shoulder. Eren had entertained the idea that his partner possessed a strange magic since he could soothe anyone regardless of the circumstances with just a few words and a gentle touch. "Tell me what you guys are doing and my team will handle the rest."

Swallowing back his anxiety and fearfulness--it being one of the rare instances when Erwin allowed such expressions to be present--he regained his composure with a deep breath. "Marlo's group was reassigned to handle the collapse which puts me in charge of the dock victims and packaging. I need help though with closing down the underground and pulling utilities out of the city interior. The storm got here sooner than anticipated so we still had people digging at the plazas and interior villas."

"So round up the equipment and close out the tunnels?"

"Yeah, and it'd be appreciated if you could spare someone to help me check the scaffolding units around the fringes."

"We can help with the scaffolding," Connie volunteered with Sasha nodding. "We do most of the rig work at our site so it's nothing new."

"Excellent," Erwin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good," Levi said, "and Eren can handle the equipment while I--"

"Actually I would rather you handle the equipment since some of it was left on catwalks in the scaffolding."

"But--"

"Please Levi?" Erwin insisted. He knew that Eren was reliable and cautious whenever he was on site but a part of him still didn't trust the undergrad with the more aspects of the job they'd been entrusted with. "He hasn't been to Herculaneum before so he could get lost whereas you've already memorized the lay out."

Levi opened his mouth to protest--could feel the fear coiling up in the pit of his stomach as the idea sank in--but stopped when the first hard drops of water began to fall. Moments later came the rain. Hard and heavy like the unforgivable beating of a winters storm, it poured down on them soaking them from head to toe. Looking between Erwin and Eren, the war waging inside Levi was unrelenting. He didn't want to place the kid in harm's way; cringed at the very thought of it. But what was worse, having him venture into the tunnels or wander through a crumbling city?

Choking on his better judgement, Levi relented. "Fine, I'll take the inner city and Eren will close down the underground." Watching as they all agreed then broke off to get to work, the upperclassman took hold of his lovers hand; waiting just long enough for everyone else to be out of an earshot. Pulling Eren aside, they took shelter under a tent where tables of artifacts were being kept. Placing a hand on the brunette's cheek, Levi searched his eyes for the words he couldn't say; falling to pieces the longer he gazed upon those pools of sunlit emerald. "Don't go in more than a few feet," he commanded, his voice cracking as he spoke. "There support beams haven't been replaced for over a decade so they aren't reliable. Just go in, check to see if anyone's still digging down there, get them out, and then close the door. You don't have to lock it; there's security guards regularly patrolling the site so it isn't an issue. Just go in then get out, understand?"

Eren nodded, his hands combing through Levi's damp hair before they settled at his jaw. "I understand. I'm sorry this is happening Levi."

"Me too."

"Promise you'll be careful too, though. The structures here aren't as sound as the ones back in Pompeii and I don't want you getting hurt either."

"I promise," he swore with a soft kiss. It was painful letting go of Eren. Would have given anything to go back to bed--curled up happily against his warm frame while tracing the contours of his tan freckled arms. But there was work to be done. "Stay safe," Levi whispered into the kiss as they parted.

Eren hugged him tight; one hand cradling the back of his head while the other pressed into the small of Levi's back. "I will."

They separated quickly before regret could sink in and hurried off to their allotted stations. With thunder rolling and lightning ripping through the air as if the fabric of space were being torn and threaded back together by the bolts there came an added sense of urgency. The sound of people shouting above the rain in numerous tongues--Italian, English, French, and German--filled the void between Eren and Levi as they carried out their jobs. Keeping close to the half moon wall that had been carved into the hardened earth, the brunette began closing down the eighteen channels that had been made to better access the unexcavated portions of the ancient city. Rats ran for cover while birds huddled in the branches of young trees standing in opposition to the winds and rain. Flashes of light made it difficult to keep track of his footing as Eren struggled to keep one foot in front of the other. The electric lamps strung throughout the tunnels flickered on and off--dimming between outages making them entirely unreliable.

"Is anyone still in here?" he hollered into the four entrance to the underground. Only the sound of air whistling through the network answered him accompanied by the occasional patter of water droplets falling to the ground. 

Shivering as a feeling of dread crept along his spine as if he were about to be rushed by a horde of ghost whom he had disturbed, Eren swiftly shut the door; his body trembling as the feeling washed over him. He didn't like Herculaneum. There was something daunting and intimidating about the way it loomed over the occupants of its forgotten streets. Something disorienting in the way the buildings came together then opened up like a chokehold giving right as the air leaves one's lungs. Shaking the sensation from his arms and legs, Eren exhaled and carried on. Stepping over the overgrown brush and raised edges of age-old sidewalks though tripping on the grooves that had been worn into the stone streets a millennia ago, he searched for the fifth entrance. Levi had warned him that it would be the hardest to find because of the growth surrounding it. He had also said that it was rarely used since it was the most dangerous--having caved in four times in the past six years.

Coming around the bend, Eren spotted the entrance just beyond the exterior of a crumbling villa. Lights flickering on and off as if they were oil lamps caught in between gusts of wind, he hesitated for a moment. Something didn't feel right. He could sense it in his stomach and how it knotted itself into a tangle. There was water leaking inside already meaning the structure was once again compromised. And, despite being new to the site, Eren knew from the digs he had been a part of in northern California with his mentor that where there was water in the roof of a cave of tunnel there was surely an accident waiting to happen. The only thing that determined when that cave-in would happen was the saturation level of the soil.

Approaching it carefully as if he were Daniel in the den of lions, Eren waited outside after calling into the tunnel. However, rather than silence, there came a sound. What it was he couldn't be entirely sure. Yet it resembled the padding of feet and shuffling of tools. ' _You can't be fucking serious?_ ' he thought to himself, carding a hand anxiously through his hair. Why someone would still be digging around in the underground when there was a storm was beyond his guess. Taking a few steps inside, he called again--looking up when more than just water fell onto his shoulders. Staring at the roof as the sounds faded, he could see the crack opening up above him. Eyes blowing wide as more water came through Eren rushed to the exit but fell as the ceiling came down; the last sound escaping the tunnel being his cry for help.

\-----x-----x-----x-----

"What the fuck was that?" Levi turned to face north as a loud clap reverberated through the ruins. There was thunder clouding the air and the heavy rain coming down on the roof tops and tents scattered throughout the city. But this was distinctly different from the rest of the noise polluting the airwaves. Reaching for his walkie, he pressed down on the switch. "Levi to Erwin, do you copy?"

"Erwin to Levi, I read you loud and clear. What's going on?"

"I just heard a loud boom from the north sector by the Villa di Afrodite. You don't have anyone over there do you?"

"There shouldn't be anyone up that way to my knowledge." There came a brief pause as a thought came to him. "It could have been tunnel number five. The structure was compromised a few days ago and it may have just given."

"Tunnel five..."

"Yeah. But there...oh my God..."

"Call Hanji and Petra for help."

"Levi!"

Clipping the walkie to his belt, Levi rushed through the city taking shortcuts through alleyways and gutted buildings with walls torn from their barings all with his mind fixed on the need to make sure that Eren hadn't been caught in the collapse. ' _Please don't be hurt. Please don't be hurt,_ ' he prayed in silence as he ran alongside the street littered with fragments of broken pottery cemented in placed by ash. Leaping over forgotten equipment the team had left when the storm came in, he winced at the loud clap of thunder and lightning that cut through the air and illuminated his path with a blinding bluish white light. Rounding the corner of the Villa di Afrodite, his heart plummeted when he saw the collapsed tunnel entrance. Approaching it cautiously Levi felt his stomach lurch when he saw the lantern Eren had been given sitting outside the entrance--its glass surface splattered with swaths of mud and rain.

Hand trembling, he brought the up the walkie and opened the channel. "We need to call for an ambulance. Jaeger's caught in the underground."

"What?!" Erwin responded; he just as out of breath as he rushed to the northern sector.

"I'm standing right next to his lantern outside of the entrance and he's nowhere in sight."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck is right. This is why I should have checked the fucking tunnels Erwin."

"Calm down Levi."

"Calm down?!" he barked in retort, his brows pinching together as anger manifested on his face. "The kid is trapped in a cave-in and you want me to calm down?! You fucking kidding me right now?! Why the hell did you even send him up here to check on this entrance if you knew it was compromised to begin with?!"

"Levi, you yelling at me isn't going to help the situation at all. You need to think clearly right now. Check to see if he's still conscious by calling out for him. Petra, Oluo, and I are almost there." Going silent for a moment when he heard the faint sound of gentle sobbing, Erwin sighed. "He'll be okay Levi. This is Eren we're talking about."

"He's still human Erwin. His bullheadedness doesn't make him immune to broken bones or internal bleeding."

"I understand that but--"

"Just shut up and get over here or I'll dig him out myself."

"I'm going as fast as I can."

"Well move faster."


	9. Vesuvius (Pt.II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms._   
>  _Is it a video? Is it a video?_   
>  _For the love, for laughter, I flew up to your arms._   
>  _Is it a video? Is it a video?_   
>  _Is it a video?_
> 
> -Sufjan Stevens, _Visions of Gideon_

"He's not breathing!"

"Quick, check his airways to see if there's anything stuck in there."

_I'm not breathing? It doesn't feel like I've stopped breathing._

"I'm not picking up any sinus rhythm on the monitor."

_Sinus what? What are they talking about? Who are these people?_

"Place the pads down and charge the defib to three hundred."

_Wait, what? Why do they need a de--? Wait, why do my fingers feel like they're tingling?_

"Charged to three hundred. Standing by."

_Crap, my chest hurts. What the hell is happening? Why can't I--wait, I can't feel my legs. What?!_

"Clear!"

_Fuck! That hurts! Wait, does this mean my heart's stopped? Am I dead?!_

"Someone please keep that young man back."

"Eren!"

_Levi? Why do you sound like you're crying?_

"Let me through!"

"Sir you need to calm down."

"Why hasn't his heart started again? Wasn't that supposed to help?! What the fuck, are you just going to let him die?!"

_Die?!_

"Recharge to three-fifty."

_Holy shit._

"Charged to three-fifty."

_I'm dead right now._

"Clear!"

\-----------------------------------------------------

The smell of 409 and bleach clung to the stagnant air of the waiting room the way the damp heat stuck to the bodies of passerby's running for cover from the rain outside--their footsteps reaching the doors of the emergency room entrance yet not beyond as they were drowned out by the voices over the intercom calling for doctors or nurses, techs or security. Knee jiggling anxiously up and down with his thumbnail wedged between his teeth, Levi sat outside the waiting room. He couldn't stand hospitals. Felt physically ill when he stayed in them for too long. ' _That's no good for your health honey,_ ' Kuchel had once joked when he had vomited at the idea of going in to his his groin examined after he had pulled both his hamstrings during a track meet.

But he had to be there--sickening or not, it didn't matter. He was needed in this space. Couldn't stand the thought of being any farther away from Eren than he already was as he sat on a bench outside of the blocked entrance to the hall leading to the numerous surgical suites, one of which the brat was currently in. Why they needed to perform a procedure on him, Levi didn't know. They said there hadn't been any internal bleeding and all his bones were still in tact. What else had happened during the collapse? Had he breathed in the toxic mixture of dirt and ancient ash? Had he hit his head and bled into his brain? Just thinking of it sent shivers rushing through Levi's already rigid body. He couldn't be more tense. Couldn't be more afraid than he was because the last time he had been in a hospital waiting for someone it was to say goodbye to Tabitha.

' _You better pull through this brat,_ ' he choked, his unease swirling together with the growing self-loathing. ' _Don't you dare die on me now. Not when I...not when..._ '

The thought trailed away from him as he groaned with a new flood of tears breaking past his lashes as he bent over with his head hanging low and trembling fingers raking through his hair. It wasn't fair but who was he to argue with whatever God was looming over them? He was just a human. A stupid, weak, worthless human that couldn't defend the people dearest to him. He felt so weak; so vulnerable and lachrymose. It was his fault he had told himself. He had let Eren go into the tunnels. He hadn't called in to check up on him sooner. Had he then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe he could have told Eren to stay away from the fifth entrance. But there was nothing to be done now. Nothing but sit and wait and pray that Erwin's words would prove true and that his brat would be too stubborn to let go this easily.

"Levi?" Petra called gently from down the hall as she came back in from outside. She had been on the phone for an hour speaking with Eren's parents. Now she looked just as exhausted as he felt. Placing a hand on his shoulder, a small sympathetic smile tugged faintly at the corners of her lips. "You should go home and rest. It's been a long day."

"I'm not leaving until he's in recovery."

Taking in a deep quiet breath, she didn't try to convince him otherwise. Apart from his two friends from Berkley and Eren, she and Oluo were the only other people in the program who knew about Tabitha. Were the only other ones who knew of how deeply the loss had cut him and what it had done to him as a person. Petra didn't know Levi before he had lost his sister. Wasn't there to see the shift in his personality or the development of his subtle neuroses but she had heard stories in passing. Had caught brief glimpses of his former self before they were buried like crumbling pillars caught in shifting sands.

With one hand stroking through his still damp hair, Petra smiled lovingly when Levi heaved a sob as he collapsed--falling to his side with his head on her lap and hands covering his face flushed red with tears. Of the three, he was the strongest yet the most vulnerable. He felt everything so deeply and internalized every action and whisper. Despite the golden crown he wore as the departments finest, beneath it was scarred tissue, broken bones, and a heart that had been mended more times than he'd ever say. This young man that carried the weight of the world on his shoulders--how greatly she wished to alleviate his suffering. How she wished she could care for him the way she did her own children.

"It's all my fault," Levi choked. "Eren could die and it's all my fault."

"It's not your fault Levi," she cooed, folding over to wrap her arms protectively around his fragile frame. "This is no one's fault. The tunnel had buckled from the over saturation of water. It's not your fault."

"But I should have been the one checking the tunnels. Eren didn't know that there was a history of collapses. He was new to it all and was trying to do his best. I let him down. I made him promise and he's hurt because I didn't swap places with him."

"No Levi, this isn't because you didn't swap with him."

"But I--"

"If you had switched places, it'd be Eren I'd be comforting right now and he'd be saying the same things."

"But it wouldn't have been his fault."

"Just like it isn't yours," she said sternly though still with love. Petra was the only would who could talk sense into Levi at this point. Hanji had tried and failed and Erwin had only fanned the flames; he didn't even need to open his mouth to have Levi yelling at him. What he needed was someone to cry to. A mother that could be the shelter he sought refuge in. "He's alive Levi. You got him out in time and the medics were able to start his heart. He'll be okay. Just give him a chance, alright?"

Levi didn't answer. Rather he hid his face in the fabric of her khaki dungarees.

"He'll come back to us safe and sound Levi."

"Damn brat better or I'll...I'll...I don't know. He just better."

Petra snorted a laugh. "I don't think he'll appreciate you calling him a brat."

She could say that but Levi knew better. Knew the way the term of endearment made Eren's heart race against his palm when they woke up in the morning--him smiling dreamily when those bright green eyes opened. ' _Hey brat,_ ' he would say with an outstretched hand coming to rest on the brunette's neck; his thumb gently rubbing the fine distinguished line of Eren's jaw. He could see his smile so clearly. Could hear his laughter and groaned at the pain it brought him. Levi knew why this hurt so much. Understood it and croaked a pathetic laugh at how absurd it was to come to this conclusion when the kid was still in surgery. It wasn't fair to either of them. Not he or Eren deserved any of this yet there he was, waiting and hoping for good news.

"Please make it Eren," Levi muttered as his eyes closed at the soft petting of his hair. "Don't go just yet."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Fingers twitched and a groan strained to push past chapped lips as a deep breath was inhaled past an oxygen feed. Eyes rolling in the depths his mind had been plunged into, waking up from whatever slumber he had been forced into was a difficult as trying to find his way to the surface of a pitch black lake. Was there a trick to waking up? Was there a cardinal direction one should follow in their dreams that would guide them back to the waking world? Or perhaps there was something one could do inside their dream that would eject them out of the haze. 

How deeply was he sleeping? Or was he even asleep? Perhaps he had died in the tunnel and would open his eyes to see whatever awaited humans at the end of their lives. Would he be alright if he was, in fact, dead and there was indeed a God? He hadn't gone to temple in over four years and hadn't kept Kosher nor did he remember a lick of the Torah except what he had to memorize for his bar mitzvah. Would he be allowed in or would he be sent to some kind of limbo where he had to repent for not being a "good Jew" as the rabbi from his childhood temple had once put it.

Fighting against whatever was holding his mind in place, Eren pushed through the fog in search of something--anything--to yank him free from this deep sleep. There was too much he had left undone. Too many things that he had left unsaid and he couldn't go until he tied up all the loose ends. No. Even if he had tied up the loose ends, he'd refuse to go. This wasn't how his life ended. He had promised himself as much when he was a child. He couldn't go before he found the remains of the Colossus of Rhodes and the hanging gardens of Babylon. He couldn't rest until he had his doctorate degree and had tortured at least five semesters worth of students with his horrible humor and absurd lectures. ' _What about Levi?_ ' he suddenly realized as the mans face flickered through his head. ' _I can't leave him like this. I promised I'd be okay. I can't hurt him and leave him behind._ ' He couldn't do it. Wouldn't do such a thing to Levi because he had suffered enough. Had lost more than his fair share and deserved better.

' _Damn it Jaeger, wake up! Pull your balls out of your back pocket!_ '

Again, his fingers twitched with his toes now stretching and spreading before curling beneath the hospital bed sheets. A series of whimpers and groans huffed past his lips like a dog whining in its sleep. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge. He didn't know what was on the other side or where he would wake up; just that he needed to open his eyes. He needed to wake up and he needed to do it now. Something in him was screaming that if he waited any longer it'd be too late. It didn't matter what he'd be late for but Eren knew it wouldn't be good to dawdle. 

Room swaying and light spilling in painting the stark white walls of his vacant mind vivid shades of blue, orange, and pale yellow, he broke through the haze with teeth gnashing together as he groaned. Never in all the times he'd been hospitalized for his own clumsiness had he fought this hard to wake up. Everything hurt and his mind throbbed at the sudden change of state. He could feel the pain deep down in his bones and in his lungs which rattled like cans filling with thorns with every breath he took. Coughing aggressively as the last tethers of sleep were cut lose, he heaved for air--his hand instinctively reaching for the oxygen line taped to his nose. He'd always hated the wretched things. Found no point in them if he could do all the work on his own. But a hand flew up to stop him.

"Take it easy there kiddo," Oluo smiled; the look on his face being one of sympathy. "You've been out of it for the past ten hours. Just relax and breathe, 'kay."

Eyes red and mouth agape, he fell back against the pillows propped up behind him. "W-What happened...to m-me?" His throat was rough and the words felt like sand as they passed through him.

"You were caught in a cave-in. Luckily we were able to get you out in time."

"I w-what?"

"The tunnel you were inspecting for closure had fallen in on you. The ceiling was oversaturated with water and the whole thing gave way."

"Shit," Eren rasped with wide eyes stricken with horror.

Oluo chuckled. "Yeah. Like I said, you gave us all a good scare. Levi was damn near manic when he was digging you out."

"L-Levi pulled me out?"

He nodded. "He even fought with the medics when they separated you guys."

"Where is he? Levi? W-Where--?"

"We sent him home, Petra and I. He needed the rest after everything that had happened." Watching as the tears formed in Eren's pleading eyes, Oluo awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "I know you probably wanted to see him first thing but you can see him tomorrow Eren. Get some rest and you guys can talk in the morning."

"But I've already slept enough."

"You think that but your body needs more rest to catch up with everything else."

"But--"

"It'll be alright Eren," Oluo reassured. "I promise, he can stay with you tomorrow if that'll make you happy. But I'm your guardian and responsible for your safety so long as you're in Naples. Don't make me treat you the way I do my own sons."

Sniffling, Eren looked away; a small pout tugging down his lips. "Fine."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

' _Levi,_ ' called a voice; a voice so sweet and familiar it brought a smile to Levi's lips even in his sleep. ' _Come on old man, time to wake up._ '

"Just a few more minutes," he protested.

The ghost of soft lips brushed the shell of his ear as they whispered, ' _Hurry up Levi. I've been waiting to see you again._ '

"What?" Eyes opening as his mind suddenly registered who was speaking, he sat up as if he'd been struck with lightning. Looking around the empty space of his room then down to the left side of his bed where Eren always slept, his expression fell. "Eren..."

Head falling, he combed his hair away from his face with a sigh before growling and ruffling it out of frustration. All projects had been put on hold because of the accident so there was nothing to do but sit and wait. Sliding out of bed rather than lazing around and twiddling his thumbs, Levi slipped into a pair of sweat pants--Eren's sweat pants that had been left in his room--and padded over to the bathroom to wash up. Without even thinking he reached for the brunette's shampoo and conditioner and used his shea butter body wash the same way Eren always used his things. It was how they were--what they had become; fungal in the way that they no longer had their own things but shared nearly everything they owned. 

Swinging open the mirror to grab his toothbrush from the medicine cabinet it hid, Levi stared at Erens toothbrush and his shaving kit as a seed of guilt tried to wriggle its way into his gut and spread roots. Clearing his throat with a sniffle as he wrangled in his rampant emotions he had yet to fully gain control of, he closed the cabinet and finished washing up. Slipping into whatever he could find--a pair of joggers and a t-shirt that seemed clean enough--he took his time heading down stairs; contemplating whether he should just hole himself up in his room all day to kept himself from falling to pieces or lashing out at Erwin again. He knew what had happened wasn't his fault. Understood it but couldn't accept it emotionally because his entire world had been flipped upside down in less than seven months.

Levi hadn't seen this romance coming. Could not have predicted the way his heart would be so easily swayed by those eyes or that boyish smile that was all awkward charm and wit. He had fully intended to carry on the way he had every other time he had come to Italy for his studies--work himself sick, call Chiara for some comfort but not get too attached, drink on the weekends, and repeat. He had dedicated everything he was--his identity--to school and his studies. Yet Eren had changed him. Had inspired a renewal within him and reopened parts of him that had been closed off for years. In less than a year, he had fallen for the young man in the room next door. The same young man that was now in the hospital likely fighting for his life. ' _He wasn't breathing when I dug him out,_ ' Levi recalled as he sat down at the breakfast table; not even bothering to look up when Hanji said good morning. Rather, he just laid his head down on the table and sighed. 

"Oluo called this morning," Petra said nonchalantly after clearing her throat and setting down the newspaper. "Eren woke up last night."

Levi lifted his head from the table just enough to look at her with eyes wide.

"We can visit him after breakfast if you want. Apparently he's talking and coherent."

"Can we?" he asked, not even caring who saw how desperate he was.

"Of course."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Heart in his throat and palms clammy from the cold sweat he had broken into half way through the ride, Levi had never been so anxious in his life. He gnawed on his bottom lip, jiggled his right leg in time with his racing pulse, and counted the number of bicyclists on the road just to distracted himself from how begrudgingly long the drive was. Had the hospital always been this far away? Or was it time yet again playing tricks on him--slowing the seconds and stretching them out longer than the minutes? Had he always been this much of a mess in his relationships or was it just Eren? It had to have been because it was Eren because Levi had never cried so much over someone in his life. Not since Tabitha died and the smell of bleach and 409 cleaner became synonymous with death. He hated those smells. Hated nearly every hospital he had ever stepped foot in because they all reeked of it. But it didn't matter. None of it did. He needed to see Eren. Needed to make sure he was breathing, that his eyes were open and clear.... That he was alive.

' _Please be awake when I get there. Please be up and talking to the nurses and laughing at one of Oluo's stupid jokes. Please be awake, please, please, please because I need to hear you speak,_ ' Levi fretted as he bit down harder on the inside of his cheek; his chin resting in the palm of his hand as his glassy eyes gazed out the window. ' _You've got me all turned round Eren; so fucked up that I can't be away from you without feeling it... Without needing to see your eyes. God I fucking love your eyes. And your smile. The way you say my name, how you touch me without any fear or hesitation. I love the sound of your laughter, your voice, and when you talk in your sleep and wake me up. So please, Eren, please be awake because I'm falling apart. I'm in pieces right now and it's all your fault and it's my fault too because I'm so in l--_ '

"We're here," Petra announced gently as if not to frighten him as they pulled up to the ticket booth.

She hadn't even come to a complete stop when Levi threw the passenger door open and flew across the parking lot with the wind at his back. Possessed by the greedy monster within him--the animal that couldn't stand the separation for another second--he rushed to the front desk and past panted breaths asked for Eren's room. Signing in on the visitors list, he clipped the laminated visitor tag to the breast pocket of his cargo jacket then shot off to the elevators, ignoring the furious security guard he darted by that shouted for him to stop running. Pressing the button repeatedly for the lift, Levi's desperation turned to aggravation as he watched the elevator stop at each and every floor. Growling his displeasure, he glanced to the side in search of the stairwell. Spotting it almost immediately as if it were lit up like a beacon, he exited the hall into the stairway that reached to all ten floors of the hospital.

His lungs stung and his legs ached yet his mind wouldn't relent. Levi couldn't slow down. He couldn't relax. Not until he reached the eighth floor. Not until he was in Eren's room--looking at those beautiful green eyes. He had woken up that morning still dreaming of them. Had reached out to touch the soft caramel skin of his jaw only to have his hand fall to the bed--the left side empty and cold. He had heard Eren laugh in his dreams. Could still feel his breath tickling his ear as if it were urging him to go faster. ' _Eren,_ ' he cried out with an anxious heart. ' _Eren..._ ' 

Pushing through the door connecting to the eighth floor, he felt as if his body would fall apart. But he couldn't just yet. Not yet. He had to see Eren awake with his own eyes. Had to make sure that he was okay and that this wasn't a dream. The last time he had seen the brat he was a mess of blood and dirt with water streaking down his face. Unconscious and not breathing, he had been dead for the three minutes it took for the paramedics to reach them. Dead in Levi's trembling arms. The image was a potent reminder of how fragile they were--of how human they were and that nothing was guaranteed. It stung like a violent wind of a mighty storm; this realization of his. Levi had forgotten what it was like to truly feel. To not live his life day to day but actually experience the vibrance and joy and pain of it all. He had forgotten until Eren came in like a hurricane and dismantled the walls he had made.

Heart fluttering when he heard the sound of talking and laughter echoing down the hall, Levi pushed himself just a little more until he rounded the corner and entered room 835. Gasping for air as he stopped, he fell forward with his hands on his knees and shoulders quaking from strain. The talking was silenced and the laughter died as everyone in the room turned to look at him. Licking his lips, Levi straightened out, standing up with his weight balancing on the heels of his feet. Gazing back at him were the brightest eyes of green, bursting to life with crowns of gold and hints of autumn orange swirling in the center.

"I'll give you boys a moment," Oluo said with a grunt as he rose from the chair. "Petra's probably parking the car so I'll go find her since she's never been to this hospital before."

Oluo's words and even the gentle pat on Levi's shoulder couldn't reach him. Not now. Not when he was caught in the gleam of those eyes. Not when Eren was looking at him with the warmest--most forgiving smile as if he knew the guilt he felt and was telling him in silence that everything would be alright. His body moved on its own as he tumbled forward with a hand outstretched. Grabbing Eren's by the wrist, the strength left Levi as he collapsed on the edge of the bed with his face buried in the sheets covering the brunette's stomach.

Clinging to him the way a child clung to their mother out of fear, he trembled like branches swaying in the wind. Levi coughed and rasped as the rough puffs of air raked through him--all manner of composure leaving him because he was safe now. He could fall apart now because Eren was there. Crying without a care, he didn't make a sound as the tears soaked the sheets beneath him. Didn't fight as his mind gave way as the emotions he had barely kept in check all morning rushed him like a flood.

Nuzzling against Eren's stomach, a smile at last found its way to his face. "You're awake," he rasped; loving how he could still smell Eren's scent past the bleach and cleaners the staff used to clean the sheets. "You're okay. You aren't gone."

Eren's heart broke all over again when he heard Levi speak. He could never truly understand the pain he was going through nor the immense guilt that wasn't his to carry but he could sympathize. He could relate and soothe him as he often did when sadness struck the upperclassman. They didn't talk about his sister often; it was too painful to revisit. But sometimes memories would resurface or little things would remind Levi of his lost twin which often left him in a state of voiceless depression.

And, in that moment, Levi was crying over Eren the way he did when he cried for his sister. He was clinging to him the way the brunette imagined he had clung to Tabitha when the life had left her and her brother was pleading for her not to leave him. Levi was holding onto him as if he were precious. As if he were the light of his life and that thought alone brought Eren both great joy and sadness because eventually they would have to part ways. But he wouldn't think about that now. Wouldn't allow that darkness to settle in when there was so much joy to be had in their reunion.

"I'm so sorry," Levi sniffled with his face hidden from sight. "I shouldn't have let you go in the tunnels."

"Levi, it's not your fault," Eren asserted. He knew this was going to happen. Knew exactly how his Alexander thought and it was to be expected that he'd feel guilty. "No one could have predicted that the tunnel would collapse."

"Erwin knew. He knew it was compromised and sent you and I let him. I let this happen and I'm so sorry."

"Levi..."

"You died Eren," Levi stated, the words cutting him even deeper as he sat up and took Eren's face in his hands. "You were dead in my arms and it was all my fault. I did this. I let you get hurt. I--" He couldn't finish as the words caught in his throat, refusing to come out. He may have believed that he was responsible for Eren's injury but he wouldn't let him go. Not even in the midst of this self-loathing could he bring himself to give him up. "It's my fault..."

Reaching for Levi with one hand and anguish in his eyes, Eren combed a hand through his silky dark hair. "Come 'ere," he all but whispered as he brought Levi's head down until his ear was pressed against his chest. Feeling his own heart beat faster as Levi listened, Eren wrapped his other arm around his partners frame with his other hand continued to smooth back the upperclassman's hair. "You can hear it right? My heart. It's still beating." Eren craned his head down to kiss the top of Levi's forehead. "If you hadn't come when you had I would have died down there. You saved me Levi."

"No--"

"Yes. Yes, you did. You dug through ten feet of mud in the middle of a lightning storm to get me out and you didn't leave me even when the paramedics showed up." Kissing his ear as Levi hid his face yet again--either from embarrassment or guilt--Eren smiled and whispered, "You're my hero Alexander. I owe you my life."

"You don't owe me shit."

Eren laughed. It was a classic Levi response to address earned flattery with aggression. He had never taken compliments well and it wasn't like him to change anytime soon. But Eren could see the blush dusting his fair complexion; it a different shade from the one brought on by his tears and far more powerful since it reached his ears. He was so terribly sweet and awkward in moments such as these. Moments when they were stripped bare of their guises and left out to dry with their flaws and anxieties on display for one another to see. Eren knew Levi purposefully put up fronts and acted the way he did because it was better than dealing with the sinking feeling of one's own mortality. But he needed to understand that it was okay to be human; to be flawed and to let go of things that were outside of one's own control.

"I can't sleep without you anymore," Levi admitted quietly. "I just stayed up staring at the ceiling all night wondering how you were until I passed out. But even then..." he paused, licking his chapped lips. "Even then, when I fell asleep, I could only see you. You've ruined me Eren. I'm useless without you now."

Caught somewhere between smiling and crying, Eren felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. "Really?"

Levi nodded, he still too shy to look Eren in the eyes even as he pulled away slightly to place his hand on the brat's heart.

It was all too much for him to handle. Too much because on the run up the stairs to Eren's room Levi had realized how deeply he had fallen for the kid. It had happened when he wasn't looking just as Kuchel said it would when they last spoke days ago. Levi knew he was falling for Eren. Could tell after only a few weeks that things would turn out this way; that he would become a wreck because this was different from the last time and that it was different because it was Eren. He had never been so afraid yet excited; had never experienced the tangle of emotions loving someone caused. Had never been so afraid to lose someone or so happy to wake up in the morning because it meant they could share another day together. He had never been so wrapped up in another persons actions or words--not the way he was wrapped up in Eren's. It was frightening how easily his head had handed control over to his heart. So unsettling in how swiftly it had happened that Levi called home in the dead of the night just to talk to his mother because he couldn't stop the noise inside his head on his own.

' _It's okay to be afraid sweetheart,_ ' Kuchel had said with love in her voice as she soothed her son from afar. ' _Nothing makes sense when you fall in love with someone except for wanting to be with them._ '

' _Is that how it was with dad?_ ' he asked.

Her smiled could be felt even in the silence. ' _That's exactly how it was with your father. He was so horribly annoying when we first met; always blasting his music in the garage below his apartment making it impossible for me to relax at the pool with the girls. I remember going up to him and threatening to break his stereo if he didn't turn it down._ ' Kuchel paused to laugh just as Levi began to chuckle. ' _He was so stubborn. Still is just like you are. But one day after many months of us going at it back and forth something changed. We fought less and less and started getting to know each other. I wasn't even paying attention to what was happening but one afternoon, I looked at him and thought 'This is the man I'm going to marry.' And I did._ '

' _Just like that?_ '

' _Just like that,_ ' She asserted. ' _I know we like to think we're in control of our emotions and who we love and hate but sometimes we don't get to choose. Sometimes God interferes and places the person we're meant to be with right in front of us. And more often than not they're given to us because they have what we lack. I think he gave you Eren for that exact reason._ '

Levi had never been too religious. Even as a child he only stayed true to certain traditions because his parents had asked him to. Even still, he was considered a "bad Jew" in at the temple his family attended because he didn't keep the Sabbath, ate all kinds of seafood despite scripture saying to eat only what had scales, and he shared his bed with both women and men. It was why he refused to attend shul whenever he visited home and begrudgingly went for passover, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur. He had never believed in the God of his parents so why should he pretend when the people at temple clearly didn't want him there? It was only when he had pulled Eren from the mud that he understood the ancient texts when they spoke of divine miracles. There was no other way to explain it--how the brat could survive a cave-in that should have broken bones and taken his life. Yet he lived. Despite it all, Eren had lived and walked away with just a handful of minor cuts to his forehead and arms.

This was the miracle Kuchel had told him of. The deliverance he had been seeking without knowing. If there was a God then it had placed Eren on his path knowing that they were two halves of the same being searching for one another. They had been birthed from the same cloth with twinned hearts beating within them. There was no other way to explain it--to describe the relief he felt when Eren held him in his arms or when their lips met for a soft kiss. This was beyond friendship. More than a fleeting romance as it transcended the easily explained attraction two people felt when met only to have a falling out months or years later. Eren wasn't temporary; wasn't a passing fancy with whom he shared his bed. Levi wanted all of him. Desired Eren in a way that not even he could understand let alone put into words.

"I'd stay," Levi whispered from where he was being held in Eren's arms as they laid in bed. "If Vesuvius erupted right now, I'd stay with you." He could hear the quiet gasp as it left the kids lungs and breached his lips. Could feel the tension coiling in his body as it shifted beneath Levi's. "I love you Eren."

Eren felt his throat tighten and the tears stinging at his eyes. "I love you too Levi. My Alexander."

"Eren..." Levi sighed, his eyes closing as the embrace around him tightened; the arms holding him bringing him closer as it they would fly away if they weren't clinging to each other so desperately. "My Hephaestion."


	10. In Living Waters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Lord, I no longer believe_   
>  _Drowned in living waters_   
>  _Cursed by the love that I received_   
>  _From my brother's daughter_   
>  _Like Hephaestion, who died_   
>  _Alexander's lover_   
>  _Now my riverbed has dried_   
>  _Shall I find no other?_
> 
> _Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me_   
>  _I'm running like a plover_   
>  _Now I'm prone to misery_   
>  _The birthmark on your shoulder reminds me_
> 
> -Sufjan Stevens, _Mystery of Love_

.......... _one morning in late October_..........

Levi couldn't move; couldn't blink because he wanted to sear every waking moment he had into his mind because time was of the essence now. Every morning he rose was one less he had in Italy; one less with his Hephaestion. So he woke up earlier than he usually did--beating Eren to the punch who was still fast asleep, curled up on his side with his legs tangled in with Levi's and the sheets. Lightly carding his fingers through the messy crown of cinnamon hair that always seemed to smell of grapefruit and honeysuckles, he leaned in and pressed the gentlest of kiss to the soft skin next to Eren's closed eye.

This was how every morning ought to be. How every day--in his opinion--should start. Quiet and calm with no one to disturb him. To many times in the weeks since Eren had come home from the hospital had either Petra or Oluo knocked on his door knowing full well that the room next door was empty; that Eren had now claimed Levi's room as his own as well and rarely ever ventured into the space on the other side of the bathroom. This world that was all their own and no one else's was their retreat. The place they could escape to and block out everything else. Here they could lay in bed for hours and hours listening to whatever music was on the radio or dwell in candlelight like a pair of tragic artists reading poetry or works from the ancient world to one another.

In this space they were safe from all harm. No cave-in or storm could ensnare them while they were happily wrapped up in one another's arms like this. Smiling weakly at the thought as his fingers traced the delicate slope from Eren's jaw down to his throat and collarbone then up to his bare shoulder, Levi could feel himself falling deeper. Could hear the sound as his heart dropped a little further into this well of affection that overflowed with living water--a spring that was brought forth by the peculiar brat sleeping like a child in his bed. ' _Even Aphrodite pales in comparison to you,_ ' Levi confessed silently; a chuckle sounding behind closed lips when the brunette's face sprunched up in reaction to the tickling sensation of Levi's fingers on his shoulder.

Glancing up at the clock on the nightstand, Levi sighed. He didn't want it to be over yet. Didn't want to wake Eren up or shower off and head down stairs. He didn't want to watch as the morning turned into yet another afternoon which would turn to another night gone more quickly than it had come. The days were passing too swiftly and they only had two and a half more months together. After that they would have to settle for facetime, late night calls, and texts that could only partially convey the lonesomeness they were feeling. And even when Eren's time in Italy was over, he'd be flying home to New York, not to Levi all the way on the opposite end of the country in California. This impending transatlanticism loomed over them like Death's shroud waiting to part them--to separate them indefinitely until they were reunited. But morning didn't wait nor did the days work so Levi did what he had grown to despise.

Smoothing the hair away from Eren's forehead, he pressed a firm kiss; his lips lingering there as if to savour the warmth. "Time to wake up brat."

Eren groaned, shifting in closer with his thighs holding Levi's in place.

"Come on Eren, we have to start getting ready. It's already six-thirty."

"But the sun's not out yet," Eren protested with closed eyes.

"Yes it is genius, open your eyes." Smile growing and breath stalling as Eren obeyed and opened his eyes, Levi couldn't help but kiss him again. He was far too fond of him not to. "See, it's already daybreak."

Pausing to listen to the birds as they sang and memorize Levi's countenance as it was painted pale gold by the sun, the brunette reached up--his fingers following the curve of his lovers lips as they dipped and sloped into a kind smile.

"You're too pretty to be real."

Levi snorted a laugh. "Shut up, no I'm not."

"Yeah you are. I've always said it."

"If anyone's pretty it'd be you," he admitted shyly while hiding his face in the crook of Eren's neck; loving the smell of his warm caramel skin and how soft it was. "You're like a sculpture cast in bronze--untouched by time and perfect regardless of age."

"So says Adonis."

"I thought I was Alexander," Levi teased; his nose brushing the shell of Eren's ear and his breath tickling the brunette's skin.

"You _are_ my Alexander," Eren laughed, squirming in the embrace until he had shifted enough to look Levi in the eyes; enough so that he could see those pools of starlight. "And I'm your Hephaestion."

The words, which had been spoken as if they were vows, were sealed with a kiss. Then another and another--each becoming more sensuous than the next. Each drawing out their time alone just a bit more. Neither wanted to let go. They wanted to drown in this happiness and exist solely in the moments shared between them.

"Touch me," Eren urged; his member growing and aching for relief as they ground together gently--slowly with Levi's already stiff length brushing up beneath his.

Groaning as blunt nails dragged across the pink sun-kissed skin of his back, Levi plunged down to map a trail down Eren's throat. "We only have time for a quick one."

"That's fine. Just please, I need you," the brunette panted as his legs were guided up to wrap around Levi's waist. Shivering when the upperclassman's cock accidentally slid along his ass, Eren swallowed hard. "One of these days, I'm gonna want more than just this."

"I know," Levi murmured as his fingers wove together with Eren's then moved their hands to rest above their heads. "I know Eren. I want it too. Just be a little more patient, 'kay?"

Eren just shook his head as his desire took over and his body gave in to the sweet overwhelming pleasure that was his skin against Levi's; their chests touching, mouths clashing together desperately, and sweat forming in beads as they rocked in unison. He couldn't think of anything else when their bodies came together like this. Everything was washed clean the moment their lips met or when Levi trailed down to his chest and teased his nipples with that skilled tongue of his that could work Eren into a whimpering mess.

He put forth his best effort though to please his partner. Teasing the line of Levi's spine was always the most effective way to rile him up. He also seemed to take great delight in hearing Eren's moans and senseless words which was why Eren never held back when they were like this in bed together. There was no shame in what they were doing. Nothing to fear or fret over. It was just the two of them so if Levi wanted to hear his voice, Eren would happily call his name over and over until he was hoarse.

Humming his appreciation as Levi took hold of his member--stroking it leisurely as he began to move down--Eren's back arched when he felt his tongue taunting the tip of his length. Lifting his head in surprise, he blushed when he saw Levi take him whole without hesitation. Choking on a moan, the next came louder as the fingers of Levi's free hand tugged at his balls while the other occupied itself with keeping him anchored in place. He only retreated briefly when Eren's hips bucked up causing him to take the brunette's cock too deep.

"S-Sorry Levi," Eren breathed with one hand combing sensely through his hair while the other twisted into the sheets.

"It's okay," he cooed, kissing Eren's hip where he had found yet another beauty mark. "Just relax okay. Here, give me your hand." Taking Eren's outstretched hand in his, Levi knotted their fingers together so that it could act as an anchor for Eren if things got too intense. "I'm right here Eren. Don't worry, it'll feel good. I promise."

"I l-love you Levi." He didn't understand why he felt the sudden urge to say those words; just understood that he needed to or else he'd fall to pieces. "I-I love you."

Looking up at Eren, Levi smiled then brought their joined hands to his lips for a kiss. "I love you Eren."

\----------------------------------------------------------

Every inch of Eren was alight as he and Levi walked out onto the patio--their hands joined just long enough for Levi to bring them to his lips and kiss Eren's tanned knuckles before they let go. Sitting down at the breakfast table opposite of the upperclassman the way they always did, he could still feel the lingering sensation of his hands all over him. Could still taste Levi's tongue in his mouth even though they had brushed their teeth. Could feel his hands searching his flesh to find every hidden secret--both the one's Eren knew were there as well as the weak points on his own body he had never been acquainted with. He could feel Levi's eyes boring into him with overwhelming adoration and devotion--much like how they were in that moment as they shared a smile between them. A smile that only they knew the meaning behind.

Shivering when a lazy breeze rolled by, Eren couldn't stop his mind from leaping back to earlier that morning when he had begged Levi to take him; to stop hesitating and just make him his because the waiting was killing him. They didn't do it. Not yet. His Alexander had an outstanding sense of restraint. Yet Eren couldn't get over the brief taste he had gotten of what was to come. Shifting in place the brunette felt the pleasant stinging coming from the hickies left on his thighs as the fabric of his pants rubbed against them. It was absurd and so risque how shamelessly he had allowed himself to be marked. From his knee to his groin, the skin of his left leg was littered with hickies and bite marks all of which he could feel. And all of them paled in comparison to the lingering sense of fullness he experienced when Levi had slipped his fingers inside him.

He didn't even know it was possible to make the sounds he had made as Levi slowly and deliberately worked him open while taking his full length in his mouth. Didn't know how amazing the pleasure could be as those nimble fingers curled and hit a spot deep within him that set fire to his nerves as if they were kindling at the base of a pyre. Eren had never felt more wanted--more loved and desired--in all his life. He had never been so starved for someone's touch the way he was for Levi's. Reaching across the table to take the upperclassman's hand in his, he blushed at the memory of those same pale fingers dipping in and out of him; oh, how much he loved the sound of Levi moaning between his legs as they both neared their climax. The heat coming from Levi's skin on his back as it pushed up beneath his calves. The love that came just from their hands joining together when Eren stuttered a warning and the upperclassman responded by reaching out to take his hand in his.

Eren loved it all. Loved and cherished every moment so deeply that he thought he'd go dumb just floating in the haze of their mutual happiness. He should have been repulsed by his behavior. Should have had a thread of shame since he had hardly restrained himself as he moaned Levi's name and cried out for him as he came. Eren should have been embarrassed as Hanji sat down with a leering grin while Erwin just cleared his throat but he could not care less. Couldn't find the guilt to feign a blush and let go of Levi's hand because this cloud of delirious joy had consumed him. 

Biting his lip with a smile as they both looked at their twinned hands, Eren peeked at Petra who was pacing back and forth on the patio overlooking the sea. Hand combing through her hair with an expression of astonishment and wonder, her eyes grew brighter as she listened to the person speaking on the other line. Opening her mouth to talk, the words that flowed from her lips were ones Eren couldn't understand. They weren't any from of Italian, French, Spanish, or Portuguese he knew yet sounded so familiar that they could likely be some strange alien language that combined all four dialects. Glancing to Levi, Eren could see the man processing her words in silence. He must've understood what she was saying because the same look of disbelief was bubbling up within his eyes.

Straightening his posture just as Levi did, Eren leaned forward; both his hands now holding Levi's. "What's going on? What's she saying over there?"

Levi didn't respond. Rather, he remained still and unmoving with his eyes fixed on Petra who had called Oluo to come outside.

"Levi?" Eren all but murmured with more than a hint of curiosity peppering his tone. "Hey, what's happening?"

"They found something over in Rhodes," he murmured absentmindedly as if he weren't even aware of who he was talking to; just that he was responding to the question. Hand tightening around Eren's, there was a twitch in the corner of Levi's eye and a quirk in his lips that made his smile just a bit more toothy and wry. "It's something big. Absolutely massive from what Petra's saying and it's underwater." Pausing for a minute as he listened more carefully--processing the words being spoken more thoroughly, a light sparked in his head. "No... That can't be right. There's no way."

"What? What's happening Levi?" Looking between him and Hanji and Erwin who were just as equally in a fog of excitement, Eren deflated in his enthusiasm while his frustration only grew.

This was one of the few things he still hated about himself and his environment. Despite how diligent he was in his studies, languages would never be his strong suit. He had been in Italy for more than half a year and he still couldn't understand it as well as the others or speak it with confidence. Additionally, it was the only foreign language he knew because Hebrew and Yiddish didn't count. He had grown up with both. Learned to speak those before English yet still considered all three his native tongues. ' _Don't worry too much sweetie,_ ' his mother had once told him at his cousin's bar mitzvah. His relatives from Austria and Germany had flown in and, much to his dismay, had decided to speak only German during their stay. ' _It doesn't mean you aren't good at learning different languages. You just learned English and Yiddish instead of German. It doesn't make you any less smart._ ' Even so, it was moments like these which had the brunette wishing he had used his brain capacity to study a dialect that would be more useful in the field.

Gaze snapping up from the table which he had unforgivingly been glaring holes into as he silently berated himself the moment Petra's phone snapped shut, Eren waited with baited breath as she approached the table after collecting herself. He had never seen her this excited. Not even when they uncovered the statue of Aphrodite at the villa in the north east quarter of Pompeii nor when they had recovered the plaster molds from the hardened earth. This from the obvious expression of glee and disbelief on her youthful face was even bigger than their previous findings. Something she still hadn't wrapped her head around because Eren could feel the energy rolling off of her like an electromagnetic pulse roaring through the vast expanse of deep space in search of an alien world waiting to receive it.

"I have news from our sister dig in the Dodecanese Islands," Petra beamed with an almost unrestrained feral giddiness in her honey eyes.

' _So she was speaking Greek?_ ' Eren pondered, still on the edge of his seat with his hand still holding Levi's.

"They found it," she said looking at Levi as if he would be able to decipher the statement. "They found Colossus."

Levi shot up from his seat--his hands suspended in the air between him and Petra, both trembling slightly as if they were waiting for him to decide on what he wanted to do with them. He looked crazed; as if he were caught somewhere between disbelief great joy, and mania. Breaths coming faster, he tried to sputter out some words all tumbling over one another as they left his lips before he gave up and brought Petra in for a tight hug. Both began to laugh, her rocking them from side to side as Hanji stared on in shock and Erwin just huffed out a laugh. It was another long moment or so before the words sank in and fixed themselves in Eren's head. The Colossus...? They were working off the coast of an island in the Dodecanese region. What Colossus? ' _Not just a Colossus, but The Colossus. What...?_ ' He too in that moment jumped from his chair as realization struck.

"The Colossus of Rhodes," Eren whispered aloud, he looking between Levi and Petra who were smiling back at him. "They found the fucking Colossus! Oh my God!"

Rounding the table as Petra took a quick step to the side, Eren pounced Levi--taking his face in his hands and kissing him hard without any shame before pulling away to smile back at him. This had been something they had both hoped to one day find. A pipe dream from their childhood that seemed to be every bit the myth it was made out to be as lead after lead was cut down and dismissed. No one believed they'd ever find the famed statue because it was said to have been made of bronze which wasn't likely to stand the test of time if submerged in warm shallow waters where there was high energy and corrosion caused by deposition and bacterial decomposition. It should had oxidized centuries ago and decayed into a pile of scraps. Yet it hadn't. It hadn't decayed at all. From how Petra was speaking to her colleague over the phone, it was still very much in tact. Rusted, oxidized, and missing parts but still almost entirely whole with all the main parts there.

"They called to break the news but also to ask if I had any spare hands with diving permits," she said as she watched Eren and Levi before looking to Erwin, Hanji, and Moblit who had just walked out onto the veranda with Hitch and Marlo. "The statue is bigger than they expected and they don't have enough divers on their team to assist with the recovery."

"It's _bigger_ than expected?" Eren asked with wonder.

"Wait, they're recovering it?" Levi added, his eyes wide and all aglow like a child watching a meteor shower.

"It's twenty feet taller than what was originally estima--"

"Twenty feet longer?" Eren almost choked. "That means it's a hundred and twenty-eight feet high?! What the actual fuck? Holy shit!"

"Are they seriously going to make an attempt at recovery?" Levi asked again as Eren groaned his excitement while curling into his lover's chest to hide how in shock he was.

"That's what it sounded like. The Greek government officials responsible for the dig received word about the find and sent down a specialist to authenticate the statue. They found markings near the ankles that tag it as the Colossus so now they've requested a recovery or salvage if a complete recovery isn't possible."

Levi hesitated with his thoughts, wondering if his partner would approve but just as he went to open his mouth Eren interjected.

"You gotta go Levi," he said; no apprehension or sadness in his bright green eyes. "This is what you've been dreaming of and you're a certified diver. You'll never get another chance like this. You have to!"

"But I'm responsible for the dig in Pompeii."

"Fuck the dig in Pompeii, this is the Colossus of Rhodes! People have been digging up Pompeii since the seventeen hundreds and that's not going to change. You have the chance to be part of something bigger than that. Something that you've always wanted to see for yourself." Taking Levi's face in his hands once more, the stern expression on Eren's face was one he had never worn before. "If you pass this up for some crumbling city I'll never forgive you."

"Guess you have no choice there," Erwin laughed.

Hanji snorted a short laugh then smirked. "You know I could always take over for you Lee. I've been working the dig at Pompeii as your number two for a couple years so I can hold down the fort while you're gone."

"Well," Petra spoke, her tone a bit more sober now. "That's the other thing. Whoever goes would be there for the remainder of assignment which means Levi would be there until his departure in January."

With that the mood suddenly shifted as all eyes fell on Eren who stood there frozen with his hands framing Levi's face. It was expected that they'd need people to stay there longer than a few weeks since it was a massive undertaking raising a giant from the dead. Moreover, it wasn't as if they could get the equipment, people, and permits in check within a matter of days and recover the statue thereafter. Logically, it should take longer than just a few months to properly retrieve the Colossus; especially if it was rotting in the joints which would make it vulnerable to movement.

Eren understood this, knew it and had processed it as fact. Yet the thought of letting go of Levi now and not even having the chance to say goodbye was as painful as being stripped of his skin and left out in the sun. He could see it in Levi's eyes now too. Those glittering pools of blue starlight that were normally so sure and unclouded held the same fear; the same doubt and anxiety the idea of separating brought him. Things were just starting to settle down between them. After the accident, so much debris had been kicked up between them and neither could get a clear read on where they stood until Levi had fallen to pieces in the hospital room and confessed to Eren. They had just gotten back into the swing of their work dynamic. Had just grown accustomed to hearing the words "I love you" spoken at the close of every evening--them whispering it to each other either before closing their eyes or between kisses and greedy bites. They had just gotten used to the idea of them--that they could be something more than a fleeting memory. That they could be something eternal.

Swallowing hard on the choking sensation building in the back of his throat, Eren smiled; his eyes glassy yet clear. "This is what you're meant to do."

"Eren--"

"Go. You have to. Remember, I won't forgive you if you don't." Staring at Levi a little longer, Eren suddenly felt as if his skin wasn't big enough to house all the panic and childish selfishness roiling up inside. Flattening his lips into a quivering line, he let held back the shaky breath that had become lodged in his lungs. "Excuse me," he muttered, looking away from Levi as he dismissed himself.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Legs still aching from the speedy bike ride down and arms outstretched in the sand where he laid just a stone's throw away from the sea, Eren gazed up into the bright crystalline blue sky in search of answers, reason--anything that could explain to him why he was doing what he was doing. Why had he come to Naples? Why was he assigned to Levi's team and why had they fallen for each other? They were perfect mirrors of one another. Totally separate and so opposed in their personalities yet they had been drawn to one another so strongly that neither stood a chance of fighting it. But why? Why did they have to fall so hard only to be parted this quickly after they had just dug up the courage to say their "I love you's"? What was the point to it all?

"Maybe it's a lesson," Eren muttered to himself with a sense of bitter humor that had soured as the words were spoken.

Carla would have said the same thing; that this encounter had a meaning to it no matter how brief their relationship was. That's just how she was--sweet and considerate and always mindful of how her children felt. It was a departure from her doctor persona when she was at the hospital. Hardly anyone would guess that she was a tenderhearted mother outside of work where she was renowned for her tough-as-nails attitude and stern work ethic. ' _Now that's a personality gap if I'd ever seen one,_ ' Eren told himself as he followed the flock of sea birds flying by overhead.

Maybe he would call Zeke later after having a few drinks at Treno Relitto that night and give him his sob story. Possibly. It was his duty as the eldest to provide comfort for his younger sibling and listen to the nonsensical ramblings of the drunken younger. Or maybe he should just hold it in. Wait until Levi leaves for Rhodes then curl up on the upperclassman's abandoned bed with his signature grey t-shirt clutched in Eren's hands before he let go and sobbed himself to sleep. That seemed like the more realistic solution. It was the only one he was familiar with because he hardly spoke to Zeke anymore since he had started working at Cedars-Sinai last June. And despite how close he was to Armin, Mikasa, and Jean, he had never been one to divulge the detailed inner workings of his romantic life to them namely because he had never experienced much romance in his life. He found a partner to share his bed with when necessary. Sometimes they would date for a month or two or three but then Eren would lose interest. He'd grow bored and move on or grow fearful and leave because he wasn't very good and making others happy.

"This is probably for the best," Eren spoke; the words twisting the knife in his gut while encouraging tears to sting at the corners of his eyes. "I'm never going to find my person, am I."

"Says who?" Oluo called from less than a few feet away. Chuckling from his seat on the rock he'd been relaxing on for the last minute or so, he sighed as he stretched down to take off his boat shoes. "You aren't a hard person to find. Just like I thought, you're a creature of habit just like me and go to the same places when you're sad or angry. So," he finished as he dropped his shoes on the sand--a rather counter-intuitive move considering he had just cleaned them out. "What has you so blue? Is it that you weren't picked first for the Colossus excavation or that you'll be separated from Levi?"

That was very much like Oluo--asking questions that were so direct it rode the border of honesty and rudeness. And Eren, as he so often did when confronted with such openness, shut down. Hunching over with his arms folded over his bent knees, he cast his gaze out toward the sea. He wasn't hiding their relationship; never would hide Levi or the affection he felt for him because there wasn't any shame to be had. But what he did hope to conceal was how childish and selfish he felt. Eren had told Levi to go to Rhodes. Had encouraged him and said he'd never forgive him if he didn't go. Such bold words felt as if someone else had spoken them now that he was on the beach feeling much smaller than he had hours ago.

"You know, growing up I always hated the ancient Greek plays," Oluo mused. Smirking when Eren glanced to him out of the corner of his eye then looked back to the water, he continued. "The hero's always die or succumb to some great tragedy that could have easily been prevented had the people nearest to them paid attention or even given a damn."

"So what?"

"God, you really are a kid sometimes," With a grunt, Oluo scooted off of the rock to settle in the sand next to Eren with his legs crossed and elbows resting on top as his fingers toyed with a few stray sprigs of grass that had managed to grow in the sand. "They said they needed any spare hands we had. That's plural Eren. Did you ever think that we may send you to Rhodes _with_ Levi?"

Heart beating faster, Eren wanted to smile but still felt as if there were strings attached. As if it were too good to be true and he had fallen asleep on the beach. He often did fall asleep in his hideaways when he was angry or sad because the energy needed to sustain such a high state of emotion was exhausting. In his youth, Carla frequently would find Eren hiding behind the living room window curtains or asleep under the dining room table. Whenever he fought with Zeke those were his hideaways--his kingdoms where he could cry and then sleep because it was too stressful to keep sobbing for hours on end.

"They need four of you guys so Petra and I were going to send Levi, Marlo, Hitch, and Mike since they're in their last year of the program. But Mike is adamant about sticking with Erwin and continuing with the Herculaneum dig and now Levi's having second thoughts."

"What?" Eren's head jerked up with panic in his eyes. Levi couldn't turn this down. Not when it was what he had been hoping to do. Not when it was a childhood dream come true.

"He said he'll go because you and Petra want him to but he doesn't look the least bit happy about it. Maybe he'd cheer up if I sent you in Mike's place," Oluo smiled when he saw the light coming back to Eren's eyes. "I wasn't born yesterday kid. I know it's because he'll be away from you. So to keep the peace and keep the dig running smoothly I'm pulling rank here and sending you to Rhodes with him."

"But I don't have my diver's certificate on me and I haven't done any underwater digs before? What if I fuck it up?"

"I doubt they'll have you doing any of the heavy lifting for. That's what Levi and Marlo are for. You and Hitch are going to help with cataloguing and surveying the area near and around the statue as parts are recovered. You won't be asked to help the rigging team or the retrieval unit while they're underwater so there's nothing to be worried about. And hey," Oluo said in a more chipper tone, "it's not going to be raining down there so you won't have to worry about cave-in's like we will. Nice huh?"

Smiling with a light chuckle as Oluo smacked his shoulder, Eren bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah, that will be nice. Hey Oluo, you aren't....you aren't doing this just because I'm d-dating Levi, are you?" he asked, his voice growing more meek near the end.

"Honestly, that's part of it. I also think you'll do a fair bit of growing as an archaeologist in Rhodes. It's a more challenging work environment and it involves working in the water which you aren't used to. It'll be a good learning experience for all four of you. Just keep things professional when you're out in the field, 'kay?"

Blushing, Eren nodded. "Thanks. You know you really didn't need to do all of this for us."

"I know." It was a simple breezy answer similar to the way Levi used to always say "later." Exhaling, Oluo fell back onto the sand with both of his arms folded under his head. "It's been a while since the weather's been this nice."

"Yeah," Eren smiled. "Yeah, it has been."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Levi couldn't stay at the villa when he was as conflicted as Eren had guessed he'd be. Whenever his Alexander got into one of those moods in which he desperately needed space he'd either go to the beach, visit the dig site, grab a coffee from his favorite cafe in town, or he'd help with archiving and tagging at the museum where the artifacts they had dug up were being held. He couldn't handle himself or being alone when he was upset despite how a very prominent part of him wished to be alone. The way Eren thought of it was that Levi, in his youth, had figured out that he only got worse when he isolated himself so--despite wanting to be apart from others--he forced himself to be among others but keep himself busy so that he wasn't forced to talk by social propriety.

It was this knowledge that led Eren to the Museo Archeologico Nazionale di Napoli; to the warehouse where the plaster molds they had recently dug up were being housed. And it was there that Eren found Levi dusting the excess dirt and debris off of the fated couple that had died together--their hands joined forever as they took their last breaths. Eren watched him closely from the entrance to the main room--the vast space filled with the sound of distant voices shouting in Italian, boxes moving, crates being cracked open, and the whirring of the various tools they used to clean and assemble the artifacts.

Regardless of how close they became, Levi's beauty would never cease to astound Eren. Like some godly union of masculinity and feminine beauty brought to life in one breath, he was unlike any person Eren had met. More unique and devastating in his allure. More handsome yet still heart-crushingly stunning. How could someone like him ever exist in the same realm as Eren? The brunette never understood what about himself had attracted Levi to him; still didn't despite the upperclassman's attempts to explain it to him. But the longer he got to stare at Levi--got to watch him as his muscles flexed, stretched, and contorted as he worked around the plaster mold, the more Eren was in awe of his partner. ' _My boyfriend,_ ' he reminded himself. For however short the amount of time was, Levi was still his.

Closing the distance between them, Eren stopped just a few feet short of where Levi was laying on his back on a trolly brushing the dirt off of the molded figures. He wasn't sure what to say. What could he say? That he didn't mean to make things awkward? That he didn't mean to make him feel like he had no choice in the matter and had to go to Rhodes? Rubbing the back of his neck, Eren shoved his hand in the back pocket of his shorts--playing with the house key and stray thread coming out of the bottom left corner of the compartment. ' _I wish you could just read my mind,_ ' he swallowed back the words. Levi was always the one who spoke first. Always rose first, came to him first when Eren was down, looked after and for him. He always put Eren first; always. So Eren spoke first.

"H-hey," he stuttered as if the word would come back and bite him. 

Watching carefully and Levi sighed, lower his arms, and rolled out from under the plaster cast, he could see the dichotomous expression of relief and shame the upperclassman wore.

"Hey." Levi didn't even need to ask how Eren had found him because he knew Eren's hideaways just as well as the brat knew his. Gauging Eren's expression as he sat up and dusted himself off, he let out a sigh. "You aren't forcing me into anything Eren."

"But you aren't happy."

"No, why would I be?"

"Because it's the Colossus of Rhodes and you get to work on the project."

"And leave you three months earlier than what we planned."

They stared at each other for a moment--both knowing exactly what the other was thinking in that moment. Both totally aware at last at where their priorities were and how frightening the thought of separation truly was. Since they had entered this relationship, Eren was under the impression that he was still--regardless of what he'd been told--replaceable. That if Levi tried hard enough he could forget him in time and find someone better suited for him because Eren was still Eren. He was still the same disorganized hot-headed mess he was when he came to Naples; just a little smarter and a tad wiser with longer hair. But the look Levi was regarding him with assured him that there would be no replacement. That what they had--who Eren was to him was not something he could forget.

"I'm going because both you and Petra want me to," Levi admitted as he sat down his tools and straightened out with his hands in his pockets--a nervous habit they both bore. "And because, in hindsight, I probably would kick my ass if I didn't take them up on the offer. But I'm still not happy about it. I hate it actually. The timing couldn't be worse to be honest."

"What would make you happy?" Eren asked even though he knew what the answer likely was. Stepping into Levi's space, he smoothed his hands up his chest, traced the angles of his finely crafted shoulders and the long elegant slope of his neck where they then rested with the thumbs rubbing the smooth skin of Levi's jaw. "What do you want?"

"To stay with you," Levi murmured; his voice just high enough for only Eren to hear. Eyes darting up beneath the veil of thick black lashes shading them, he watched the brunette. "I don't want to go without you."

Licking his lips, Eren could feel the smile straining at the corner of his lips. "Mike declined to go," he said, loving how the news took Levi completely by surprise. "He wants to stay and work on Herculaneum with Erwin."

"Crazy bastard."

"I know right?"

They both laughed. Mewling quietly behind closed lips as Levi slipped one arm around his waist while the other came up to frame his face, Eren closed his eyes, breathed in the familiar scent of sunblock and citrus, and relaxed. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other then let his forehead rest against Levi's--their nose's brushing and breath mingling so close it was still warm.

"Oluo's sending me in his place." Eren could hear the sharp breath Levi took in as he broke the news. Could feel his pulse race beneath his fingertips. "Sasha and Connie are needed here for Erwin's dig and Petra has to supervise because of the tunnels and how weak the walls have been so I'm the only one that can replace him."

"How convenient," Levi smirked. Oluo had plenty of people he could have sent which was why he knew the man was doing him a personal favor. Eren was nowhere near as qualified as Natalie or Isidore who had done numerous underwater jobs. This was Oluo's way of keeping the peace and looking out for him. "So you're coming with me?"

"If you're still going, yeah. I don't want to go anywhere without you either."

Nuzzling his cheek against Eren's for a brief moment, he kissed him just enough to get the taste of strawberries and peach tea from his lips. "I'll go."

"Are we good now?"

Levi nodded. "We were good even before this. I just felt like I had no say in the situation."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Just...just don't..." he sighed, "just don't make decisions about us on your own, okay? It hurt a little when you told me to leave."

It was hard being like this for them both. Neither were entirely comfortable expressing how they felt and being as open as they were with each other. Some days were better than others. But then there were moments like these when the words didn't want to come. When it was like pulling teeth from a mule just trying to get the other to talk. So they took their time. Weighed their words and made sure it conveyed exactly how they felt before saying it because so much could be lost in translation and neither Eren nor Levi were taking any chances.

"It hurt just saying that to you," Eren admitted shyly as he held Levi closer. Felt as if he'd fall to pieces in that moment if he wasn't holding him as close as possible.

"Then why did you?"

"Because I didn't want you to pass this up. I didn't want you to regret missing out on something because of me." It was the truth. As hard as it may have been to admit it, those were his fears. That he would be an obstacle--something obstructing Levi's path and he didn't want to be that.

Levi sighed. "I understand that Eren but you have to trust me to make my own decisions."

"Okay."

"Promise?"

Eren nodded as he hid his face in the crook of Levi's neck. "I promise. I'm sorry I made you feel bad."

"You don't have to apologize brat," he chuckled, smoothing his hands up Eren's back as he kissed his temple. Tangling the fingers of one hand in his silky chestnut hair, Levi closed his eyes as they swayed in place. "I'm going to be wrapping up here soon. Wanna help me with the last bit then head home together?"

Eren shook his head, still not moving from his hiding spot in Levi's neck.

"Did you take the bus here?"

"I biked," he answered.

"'Kay, then we can bike home together."

"Levi?"

"Yeah?"

Rather than speaking, Eren shyly kissed his neck and voicelessly said ' _I love you._ ' It was the charming side to his awkwardness. That despite all they had been through, all they had done together and to each other, he still had trouble saying what was on his mind. But Levi didn't mind. He adored the strangeness because he adored Eren.

Combing a hand through Eren's hair, Levi kissed the shell of his ear. "I love you too."


End file.
